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i want to stick to the back of your throat

@moonnhare

he/him
see #mine

Past Lives works so well for me because I am so enamoured with pragmatism in fiction.

I read and watch a lot of stories about idealized love stories and I often enjoy them too! I spent my entire childhood believing that the teenagers who got together in the media I consumed would stay together forever. And then as I got older, I was naturally introduced to more stories about romances that didn’t work out. Still, it’s hard for me to think about those as pragmatic, most of them have this desire for sadness in them. They would make me feel as though the devastation was the point, that the narrative was forcefully bent toward the saddest outcome.

Past Lives doesn’t make me feel this way. Nora doesn’t stop talking to Hae Sung because of an unforeseen tragic circumstance. She makes a choice and goes through with it. Hae Sung puts it best during their conversation at the end of the film. She is the kind of person to leave. And he loves her because she is that kind of person. The “what-if” isn’t in wondering about if circumstances were different. No matter what, she would have chosen her plays over anything else. Her husband even notes that so much of how their relationship happened is because he fit so well into the life she wanted. The whole reason this film is called “Past Lives” is because that’s the only way to ponder about whether Nora and Hae Sung could be together.

It’s such a delightfully Asian perspective on it. “In another life” films are so common, but I always feel like Western movies do it in a kind of parallel universe kind of way. I love that in this one, Nora is so steadfast and consistent in her personality and desires, that there is no real contemplation and consideration of making her and Hae Sung’s relationship work. There is only a longing and a love.

I search for you by habit

I brush my teeth

I think of you, you're like

Multiplication tables

In my brain, a rhythm

Relentless— you're the

Song I hum under my breath

My lungs still long for you

A pinecone in some vast

Forest, once I felt so tiny

So exposed

So safe

Reminder at the beginning of pride month that rainbow capitalism, beyond anything else, is a metric of public opinion. A corporation slapping a rainbow logo on twitter or selling a t-shirt with a rainbow graphic means that they believe they can make as much, or more, money by doing so than if they refused to. You can talk in circles for hours about whether this is allyship or exploitation or whatever, but it is always a symptom, not a cause.

That's what should worry you about Target pulling down pride displays, or companies deciding not to walk in pride parades. A sudden decline in rainbow capitalism is a visible thermometer for the political, social, and legal pressure against queer rights, particularly in the USA in 2023.

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What's that poem about the cockroach and the moth where the cockroach is like "I wish I've ever wanted anything the way that moth wanted to burn itself up in that lantern" because we had to read that in high school and it still fucks me up to this day

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Ok I found it it's called "the lesson of the moth by archy" and it's by Don Marquis

Mr president we have reason to suspect their is a masquito in the oval office

Reading guide

  • "Mr president" = me
  • "The oval office" = my room
  • "Their", "masquito" = errors for comedic effect

Behind the scenes

This post was inspired by the Mosquito Bite that appeared at or around 1:30 AM on my right elbow. As of 1:39 AM, the culprit remains at large. Some say a faint buzzing can still be heard