Love attracts Love

The longest night of the year is nearby; we are plunged in darkness.

My life has taken turn this year, a decisive turn. First, I got myself a stay-at-home office job. My anxiety level dropped a lot since that.

Then I became a mother. New anxieties arrived, I would say, rushed into my life. So many insecurities, questionning, moving out, appointements. A whole lot of pressure, disguised as the sweetest gift: a child. My child. I was in such a hurry to have him in my arms, and now that is where he is sleeping peacefully.

Darkness... To plunge into ourselves. For years I have been depressed at the sight of bare trees and snow. This year, it brought an intense relief. I feel ok to lay and rest. It feels so good to not have to brave the cold and stay home, in my pajamas.

I am decluttering, step by step, my mind. It's a hard way home, and sometimes I feel horrible about myself. I feel like a mean hypocrite obsessed with herself, full of vanity and absolutely scattered. But it is an exageration. I have gone a long way and I am still recovering while being a mother.

As I plunge into myself this year with the surrounding darkness, I ought to be proud of what I see inside and not focus on the dark. I shall look at my own heart of gold, glowing. I shall focus on the good inside of me, and the goodness of the world. Everything that is pure will shine the most in the coming nights...

Samhain just passed; this was my last year as a maiden. I am now a mother and I am grateful for these years of fun and fire (even if I burned myself quite a lot. Still working on forgiving myself for the damages done).

So, with Samhain, comes the new year, and what I wish for myself... I wish to 'detoxify' my habits and my mind.

Without pressure... Just naturally symplifying myself.

I look at my son, and he looks at me with his eyes full of purity. He doesn't know about all the pain and vulgarity of our world. Of betrayal, lies, deceit, violence. Only curiosity and light.

I want to meet him, to be in the same place as him; to be courteous, kind and curious. To show him we can be delicate and focused beings, not slaves always scotched to their cellphones, watching TV with our minds and spirits fading away.

I wish to unlearn my way of living and the vanity we are encouraged to nurture. I want to peel away the stress, the ringing alarms in my head urging me to do more and be more.

I will live slowly, with my son showing me the way... ❤

Another warm supper with family and friends, and our 2 months old son... We have so much squashes and two pumpkins from this autumn harvest. I baked 2 pumpkin cakes and my Love cooked a pumpkin soup, followed by fried squash tacos. I even tried putting some pumpkin puree in my coffee... (That made my Love laughs quite a lot).

This year brought so much...❤