wenas tardes

every moment of every day i am thinking about this tiktok

Lumpfish come in a variety of shapes and colors.

[He scoops up the fish, it spits water and he turns it toward the camera]

This one is stumpy and green. Very beautiful, very powerful.

[He picks up another fish and turns it toward the camera]

This is what a normal lumpfish looks like. It is more elongated, but still a vibrant blue color. Very beautiful, very powerful.

[He picks up another fish and turns it toward the camera]

This is one of the stumpiest ones we have. Its hump is very high. It is very stumpy, but yet very beautiful, and very powerful.

[He pans over a lot of fish, all looking up at the camera]

My fish army is ever growing, and soon I will over throw the world. Very beautiful, very powerful.

because of this tiktok, i frequently murmur "very beautiful, very powerful" at myself, and i cannot recommend it enough.

11:38 - Arrived at crime scene.

11:38 - Examined body. Signs of a struggle.

11:38 - Found murder weapon in drain.

11:38 - Realised watch was broken.

hm. thats not right

The only visible text being "Hey guys we noticed every other web(site) failing. We really wanted to throw our ha(t in)" REALLY adds to this post

*SPOILERS FOR THE TOTK DRAGON QUEST*

I drew this as an excuse to draw Zelda in her new dress and then that never happened. ALSO THANK YOU @katydoodles FOR DOING THE BACKGROUNDS <3

one time a guy i know whose girlfriend was heavily pregnant didn’t tweet anything for a whole day so i texted him ‘congrats on your baby’ and made him think i had some kind of baby precognition 

like six months after that just after halloween i asked to see his son dressed as a ‘fat baby pumpkin’ and he was like ‘who told you’ and i said ‘no one. it’s halloween. you have a fat baby. he’s going to be a pumpkin’ 

bbc sherlock wants what i have

HE RUINED MY DREAM JOURNAL!!!

Ｉ ｄｉｄ ｎＡＵＧＨＴｔ！ Ｍｉｓｔｅｒ Ｅｌｅｃｔｉｃ ｓｅｎｄ ｈｉｍ ｔｏ ｔｈｅ   ｐｒｉｎｃｉｐａｌ＇ｓ ｏｆｆｉｃｅ ａｎｄ ｈａｖｅ ｈｉｍ ＥＸｐｅｌＬｅｄ！

The line delivery, the acting, the fact that I can hear this without sound, the way they’re treating it as though this is a murder trial, and Mr. Electric’s reaction to this are part of what makes this scene hilarious

I will always reblog Mr. Electric Kill Him

It’s so funny

act a fool sis

*explaining kitchen appliances to my pet medieval knights* The microwave, or Micheal the Wavious, and metal fork, or Sir Silver Prong, are sworn enemies and can never cross paths lest their meeting spell destruction for all.

“forsooth! the scribe lies to us! upon this day i swear these star-crossed lovers shall meet again”

the divine light of reunion

but no yeah lets have the conversation:

"the CEO doesnt want to run that kind of website" Excuse, shouldnt have bought the 'go nuts show nuts whatever' website if thats the case. APPEAL DENIED

"we have to follow the TOS of the appstores we're hosted on" Excuse item one, no you dont, item two, you have since those days implimented infrastructure that would allow pornography and sex work on this platform Without violating TOS of any applicable app store. APPEAL DENIED

"we own the site we get to make the rules" Incorrect, this site has only ever made profit when the users willed it. we collectively own the site as a hive mind and no legal change in ownership will change that. APPEAL DENIED

"we have to keep this website safe for the children who use it" Argument based on fallacy banning pornography and sex workers does not prevent pornography and sex work from occuring on the site, it only forces aforementioned users to hide and avoid labling their content appropriately, which REDUCES the safety for children and sex workers alike instead of increasing it, this has been shown to the point that making this argument at all is tantamount to admiting fascist intent APPEAL DENIED

Reblog it. I want this to be on Tumblr radar by end of the week, i want my notes to be useless from the discourse, i want every single person on Tumblr to have seen this post at some point

Imagine actually being so evil that you'd rather make sure your writers suffer financially instead of just paying them the pay they deserve. Hell truly has some seats reserved already, holy shit.

down memory lame

(p.s. I'm gonna be finishing the new comic on twitch later today, follow me to be notified when I go live)

i love pitting classically trained magic users against self-taught magic users in sci-fi/fantasy but it shouldn’t be snobbish disdain for them it should be terror

“WHO TAUGHT YOU LIGHTNING BEFORE BASIC TELEKINESIS. LOSING MY MIND WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU JUST DID IT. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAST WITH YOUR BARE HANDS”

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT YOU’VE ‘HACKED’ MANA DRAIN

WHAT DO YOU MEAN ‘DRINK SOME JUICE’

WHAT IS ‘LOW BLOOD SUGAR’

WHY IS THIS WORKING

I HATE YOU SO MUCH

Okay but other direction can ALSO be a lot of fun

“What do you mean I don’t have to burn half my blood to create a fireball?”

“Why can you teleport more than once without vomiting? WTF is ‘quantum displacement awareness’???”

“You know HOW many spells? HOW? ... What do you mean ‘my spell book’?”

“Ooooh, you’re just summoning water portions from the Plane of Water... Lol I thought I HAD to combine hydrogen and oxygen molecules to generate water in small amounts. That’s so much easier then what I was doing!”

Tags via @mia7437

This is exactly how coding works.

Pipe expanding machine

Gamer cats

in conversation about white people who go to Japan and expect their knowledge of anime to culturally carry them, I was once posed with “it’s like if there was a Japanese guy who was obsessed with spongebob and came over here and thought he could get by just communicating in spongebob quotes.” This is a false equivalence because if such a man existed we would crown him king. We’d love him. Americans would fucking love that. sometimes I get sad that this isn’t a real guy I can invite to a party.