just found out from my dad today that when n*xon died and they did the 21-gun salute at his funeral my grandma said “they should aim at the coffin to be sure”

Happy Valentine’s Day!!!❤️❤️❤️

it’s time we start oppressing ppl that use the word “hubby”

sorry but “Hubble Space Telescope” takes too long to say

Calvin & Hobbes: the Snowmen, by Bill Watterson.

“Raptor kitty loves her toy”

(via)

-featherless

-biped

THIS IS A MAN

Tumblr user xenthou how does it feel holding the burden of being the funniest fucking person on this hellsite

I think I might have broken my finger reblogging this. 

EVERYONE TAKE A MINUTE TO JUST APPRECIATE THE FACT THAT DONALD GLOVER EXISTS AND KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK IS UP

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (2001) dir. Chris Columbus

me irl

This is the funniest thing I’ve ever read in a science book

show us the duck op

the duck.

forbidden bath toy

literal bath bomb

The Princess Bride (1987) dir. Rob Reiner

your bare minimum isn’t actually that bare or minimum. my dad once told me that there’s nothing in this world that’s easy and that’s true tbh. everything we do takes energy, time, and effort. even the little things. if you feel like you’re not doing enough please try to think about your circumstances and what’s currently available to you: chances are, there’s something that’s diverting or otherwise draining you. and to pull away from that and get something done regardless? well, i think that’s really admirable! please try to take pride in the things you do accomplish in a day, no matter how small or trifling you perceive them to be. you can’t be proud of your growth if you don’t notice where you already are!

no offense but this conversation was literally a major turning point in my life

Harry Potter and How the Scene Should Have Gone

I’m pretty sure I’ve reblogged this before but I don’t care

no but let me add the context here!

these are two pretty well known german tv personalities

palina, the woman on the left here, gets a lot of really gross comments on her body, especially her boobs. stuff like (paraphrased cause they’re in german) “woah, i wanna cum all over those fat tits” or “she’s such a fucking hot slut i wanna fuck those tits” or “with her, half of the guys would cum before reaching her hole” and who can forget “palina, you are and always will be a juicy piece of meat i would drink out of”. and the media tends to really sexualize her too.

so she and klaas (dude on the right), with the help of their team and and lovely ass-model decided to just drop this picture as an instagram, with the caption “finally got that nice necklace with my zodiac”

the media was quick to pick it up as “ah she says its about the necklace but she wants to show her boobs!”, and of course there were more comments like “i jacked off to this like seven times in an hour” and “those tits should milk my cock dry”

like a week later, they dropped the making-off video to that video and the rest is history

LEGEND

“i don’t support feminism because i don’t hate men”

Yes, please!

Embroidery Hoops / Custom

Desert Eclipse Studio on Etsy