LET'S CAUSE SOME MISCHIEF

it kinda seems like when i talk about communication that im like. saying like "there's all these rules in conversation and everyone is 100% aware of them at all times and they can be easily explained," but it's not really like that yk.

like i dont necessarily recognise exactly why i phrase things the way i do other than "it's polite" a lot of the time, yk, until after i put the communication under scrutiny to see where the misunderstanding happened.

the implicit communication isn't a lot of rules that are easy to memorise that you take into consideration every time you talk to someone, instead, the rules are like, vibes-based. it's kinda a "whatever feels right" approach to communication, where the intent is "be considerate of how the other person might feel about what you say, and attempt to phrase things in a way that takes that into account" and like "give the opportunity to the other person to have control and the ability to offer help and such, to foster positive feelings in the relationship." type deal.

but it's all just kinda vibes based and you don't really consider everything like, on the spot, it's just kinda natural at this point. i'm not literally like going "if i say this like this they might feel this, but if i say it like this they might feel this," and weighing my options against a big list of rules. it's just kinda like, "saying it like this Feels Right."

there are Social Rules, and you can probably learn a big list of them and approach conversation with the list in mind and learn to communicate in that way, but idk. like idk if after learning them if they become kinda second nature to the point that you wouldn't rlly recognise you're doing it, yk?

bc like i don't Know any rules. it's not like i can list off a bunch of social rules and teach u how to talk to people.

i mean the best i could probably do is like, when the vibe starts feeling off with u during communication, i go "that doesn't really work there, try this instead," but that wouldn't be teaching you rules unless you do some pattern recognition to like, figure out the rules based on a commonality between things you're corrected on, and idk how easily that would stick in the mind.

i think the best thing that can be done for this is like, ppl who communicate in this way should, after like making the request or whatever, say explicitly like. "i tried to make a request there, and i would like to know if you understood it" or whatever, instead of assuming that an "incorrect" answer is "i understood it but i dont like it, so im going to be passive aggressive."

i have a lot of communication issues with a lot of my friends and a big thing is because all of my friends are autistic but i communicate EXTREMELY implicitly a lot of the time, kinda bc like, explicit communication is often considered rude or impolite, like saying "hey, i need you to take me to work bc i forgot to sleep in time" is kinda considered rude, but saying "aw, i forgot to sleep, i probably won't be able to make the bus tomorrow," is considered polite, because it gives the other person like, the opportunity to be in control of the conversation and the opportunity to offer to take you into work yk, rather than a "you need to do this for me, because i made a mistake," it's "oh, i made a mistake, and i don't think i can do this on my own," and it gives the other party the opportunity to be like "oh, hey, i can help with that!" yk?

but like the instant i do my usual, implicit communication around my autistic friends, it's just. completely missed. they see it as an independent statement that means exactly what is said. or they see my "it's fine," as me not wanting to be honest and holding onto my feelings, instead of the implicit "i can handle this, i don't need your help, and talking about it might make you feel bad because it's not a generous way of thinking, so i need to resolve it without your help." yk?

i always kinda felt like a bad communicator not in the "i don't know how to hold polite conversation" way, but in the "i am often misunderstood, oftentimes because i tend to use my larger vocabulary and leave people lost in the conversation" and "i struggle to talk about how im feeling in ways that aren't harmful to the person im having the feelings about" and those things combined with the brick wall of "your usual communication style doesn't work here" makes it seem like im just completely dogshit at talking to people and im constantly hiding what im thinking and meaning and bowing to the opinions of others. when actually im just like. using the neurotypical "polite" implicit communication. and only being a little bit bad at communicating what i need and only bowing a little bit to what ppl say to me.

i think ppl think i'm a huge doormat when im only a little doormat. and i do often become more of a doormat when my communications of my needs are "rebuffed" (they actually just were completely missed), because it makes me feel like my needs are seen as unimportant (when in reality they are just not being understood in the way i am communicating).

it just keeps happening, where i am told "you didn't say what you meant earlier, and i interpreted it like this," and im like. i LITERALLY did.

and then i go. "wait. what DID i say. what Words did i use?"

and i think of JUST the words. and im like

OH. i said it "explicitly," FOLLOWING THE RULES OF POLITE CONVERSATION, aka i DIDNT SAY IT DIRECTLY, I LEFT IT IMPLIED.

and it just Keeps happening.

where i get told "you LITERALLY didn't say this," and i'm like "YEAH I DID?" and i. didn't. at least, not with the Literal Semantic Meaning Of My Sentence.

I mean... He has a point????

BONUS:

alright tumblr, here's your homegrown cowgirl C:{

what do you think of her?

dear newly-out trans girl: you need to wear yr skirt up on yr waist, not on yr hips. trust me on this one

everyone saying "art doesn't need to be perfect" hasn't taken into account the art monster, the monster that comes and kills you if art doesn't look exactly like it did in your head

One of my favorite yuri related things is actually this Japanese article I found once that was like. Directed at younger himejoshi. So I put it through google translate because I was curious and it had a bunch of tips like "if you have a friend who is also a yuri fan... maybe you can go see a movie about girls together! But REMEMBER. Be sure to let her know in advance if you want to be 😳 more than friends 😳" and I genuinely thought it was so funny and cute that it was like "WARNING: we know manga likes to string things along but you cannot do that in real life you need to make your intentions known" LMAO

This meme except they're nice friends supporting each other :)

one time i was walking home from classes and i saw a tesla exit the uni parking lot and i said out loud "reddit car" and the guy heard me