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molly olly olly olly olly olly

@mollymaul

names Molly. am gay

Sharing space is nothing new. Sharing bathrooms is nothing new. The reactionary outrage is so manufactured.

The parking lot? As in the gender neutral parking lot? As in a place where you have no privacy?

These are the bathrooms at the airport in question:

As you can see, complete privacy for all waste-expulsion activities. You only encounter other people around the sink.

This just proves a point that I’ve repeatedly noticed and it’s that every time a bathroom goes gender neutral it gets about a hundred percent safer.

I distinctly remember coming back from college to find that they’d converted the two of the bathrooms into all-gender restrooms. Among the changes were doors that went all the way up and down, a locking mechanism within the door, and actual door handles. Even the single-occupancy bathroom got a wall for extra privacy.

In contrast, I remember the women’s bathrooms in my old school. They were broken as shit. Some doors needed to be held by a friend, some doors you held with your foot from inside. The wheelchair-accessible bathroom straight up did not have a door at all. And yet we all pretended this was okay because hey, the womanly honor code. You think that shit would have flown if there were two gender-neutral restrooms?

All I’m saying is that if I were fleeing a predator or wanted to be absolutely sure I was private, which one would be the better option? The one that assumes that a “no penises allowed” sign will be enough? Or the one that actually, physically protects me?

spotify: we noticed you're in your car. to minimize distractions we changed all the ui you have muscle memory for to something else. okay love you bye

i'm typing this while double fisting a beer and my phone, speeding down i-95. not even glancing at the road

Villains in Addams Family movies go to really unnecessary lengths to defraud them of the family fortune. These people just give it away on whims all the time. If I just walked into the house and started wearing their clothes and spending their money, they wold start introducing me as Cousin Intruder and forget there was ever a time I didn’t live with them.

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There’s a whole plotline in the Addams Family Musical where Morticia and Gomez realize at the same time they each thought Grandmama was the other one’s parent and no one knows who the hell she is, and literally nothing changes because, well, she’s Grandmama now.

Gomez’s life’s ambition is to be a failed investor, just walk up to him and say “I’ve got this crazy idea, it’ll probably never work, but I need 5 million dollars to try” and he’ll just shout “brilliant!” Then sword fight you and give you the money

And because it’s Gomez whatever you do with the money will end up outrageously profitable

i find it impossibly funny that this is the canon reason for the adam family fortune. gomez desperately wants to be a failed investor and lose it all, but every single unhinged thing he throws money at *somehow* ends up becoming wildly successful

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I'm setting my trap, to catch the damn haiku bot. Quiet! Here it comes.

I’m setting my trap,

to catch the damn haiku bot.

Quiet! Here it comes.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

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I had a dream that Pepsi released a candy called “Pepsi Particles” that were caviar sized, spherical pepsi logos that fizzed in your mouth. The packaging was a blue and silver pouch with a pepsi logo surrounded with rings like an atom, there were crystal pepsi and pepsi blue flavors as well. I can’t stop thinking about them.

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(ARTIST’S RENDITION)

Whipped up a concept of more candy style packaging, rather than the oreo pack look that he drew.

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This response still haunts me.

The more I reflect on it the more I believe this person knows me and knew this minimalist take would particularly piss me off. The fact this is on a throwaway account with this being their only post really enforces that. 

So who did this? You can come clean now, I promise I won’t get mad, please.   

In 4th grade, my bff was in a death feud over chess with a boy in our class but instead of competing like normal people they decided that the best way to determine who was chess master was for each of them to select one of the two biggest idiots in class and teach them to play chess, My Fair Lady style, and see whose idiot won. We are just now, 22 years later, grappling with the moral implications of this exercise.