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ヾ(◕ˇ﹏ˇ◕)ノ”

@moledigginghole

Hey all, remember when I said I’d never do another picture-fic because I don’t have photoshop and it’s straight up the devil’s work? Yeah, I lied. 
someone give me validation this took forever 
7/6/19 Update: Translated into Vietnamese by the amazing @annapotterkiku
9/19/2019 Update: Translated into Chinese by @adrienbrodysgoddamnsexy!
7/7/19 Update: Part Two is now up! 
8/13/19 Update: And Part Three
8/4/19 Update: Podfic by @rhythmelia​
6/30/20 Update: Podfic by numerous authors
Archived as plain text on AO3 and in picture format on Wayback 
Other works inspired by this one listed after the fic! 

Discredit - Excerpts from A.Z. Fell and Co.’s Yelp Page 

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“Thank you,” said Aziraphale. The bitterness in his voice would have soured milk. “I’d forgotten about ineffability, obviously.”

wait. people actually listen to killer queen and think that's Crowley? and those same people listen to good old fashioned lover boy and think that's Aziraphale?? in what world is "Well versed in etiquette / Extraordinarily nice" and "In conversation / She spoke just like a baroness" and "Perfume came naturally from Paris (naturally) / For cars she couldn't care less" Crowley and "Say the word your wish is my command" and "I will pay the bill you taste the wine" and "Driving back in style in my saloon will do quite nicely" Aziraphale?

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if i was a court jester i’d flirt with the king at any given opportunity. subtle at first but if he was interested and we’d share banter then i’d sit in his lap. then he would say i’m the funniest silliest little man alive and kiss me with tongue

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how could he NOT fall in love with me though like i am literally there making him giggle, daily. a grown man covered in gold and he is just laughing at my stupid little jokes. i have that bastard wrapped around my finger. He knows it

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all part of the plan

This has probably been said before but good omens had made very clear aziraphale and Crowley's relationship at the end of season 1 for any doubters

Here Crowley says 'time to leave the garden,' like God had said 'the story ends as it began - in a garden,' not just referring to Adam young. The Garden of Eden represented their responsibilities as angel and demon, especially their very first responsibilities. Leaving the garden means leaving it all behind.

When they met in Berkeley Square, they met no longer as angel or demon but as lovers, 'the first meeting of two lovers in Berkeley Square.'

Gonna go scream now

It also means that they are leaving the garden in terms of - they are embracing free will.

In the garden, Adam and Eve were existing without making their own decisions, but once they bit the apple and learned free will, they had to leave.

It's the same with Aziraphale/Crowley. It's relatively obvious that they've always been able to make their own decisions, but they (and especially their old "sides") have always just seen them(selves) as pawns for their respective sides, with no ability to refuse a directive.

So it's talking about their freedom. They have to make it on their own, now, but also... they *get* to make it on their own. No being forced to the whims of heaven/hell. No more hiding their association with each other. They're free to make decisions about their own lives. It'll be somewhat scary, they only have each other, they're the first of their kinds to embrace it, but it'll be worth it in the end.

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You know what's it like when you don't know anything at all and yet youre totally certain that everything would be better if you were just near one particular person?

So even though Crowley doesn’t read, he still gets that Aziraphale loves books - really gets it, simply because books are important to Aziraphale.

Compare that to the attitude expressed by the other angels. In the unfilmed Regency scene, Gabriel didn’t consider that Aziraphale could have an attachment to his bookshop. Crowley showed up with chocolates because he knew how special opening the bookshop was to Aziraphale and wanted to celebrate it.

The other angels are dismissive of human propecies. Gabriel classifies books as just “material objects,” tossing them aside casually. But Crowley saved Aziraphale’s books. He thought of saving them even before Aziraphale did! Just because he knew Aziraphale loved them.

Before Crowley left the burning bookshop, he grabbed the copy of Agnes Nutter’s prophecies. Remember, at this point he didn’t know what the significance of that book was. He must have grabbed it simply because it hadn’t been burned up - because it was the last piece of Aziraphale’s shop - and Aziraphale - left. I mean, he brought the book into the pub with him while he was drinking and crying over losing Aziraphale.

Another thing that kills me is how soft Crowley’s voice was both times he told Aziraphale that his bookshop had burned down. The first time in the pub he tearfully said “I’m really sorry” and let Aziraphale have a moment to process it, knowing that it would hurt Aziraphale to hear that news. And when they’re sitting together on the bench waiting for the bus, Crowley seems to hesitate when reminding Aziraphale about it.

During the body swap, Crowley went into the restored bookshop to check on things, gently touching the books that he’d seen burn. He even knew enough about Aziraphale’s stock that he was able to instantly clock the new books.

Maybe it’s the bibliophile in me, but Crowley’s validation and support of Aziraphale’s love of books just... really gets to me.

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The reason You go too fast for me, Crowley absolutely murders me is this: It isn’t “I’m not interested.” It isn’t “I don’t feel the way you feel.” It’s “I can’t meet you where you are right now, and it kills me.” It’s longing and regret, knowing there is something right there in front of you that you want more than anything, that’s being offered to you, and you aren’t ready for it. Don’t know when you ever will be, and that thought is killing you, too, because you don’t know how long the other person will wait. It’s knowing that what you’re saying might be the end, but you owe them the truth, the choice to stop waiting for you.

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I broke Amazon Prime

OMG guys. I must have been going back and forth on the Good Omens episodes too much (a shock, I know) that Amazon Prime couldn’t take it anymore and had a glitch. Basically, the subtitles of episode 1 were slapped onto the visuals of episode 6. I was about to refresh until I realized that watching the episode this way brought some absolute gems:

(Snake sushi, I guess)

(asdhasjkldhkajsdhksjadh)

(I laughed so hard I nearly woke my mom on the second floor)

(Mood)

(…okay…?)

(That is what’s happening, yes)

(Yay demon bathing in holy water)

(accidental spoiler)

After I exited onto the main page and refreshed the problem went away. I just thought it was hilarious to the point I just watched the entire episode this way…… 😂