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Earned A PhD In Disappointment

@moderately-ok-trash-bin

She/They, Puts the Bi in Bitch
Just sorta Existing, living and spending time not worrying too much about where to go next.

We all love urban fantasy but we have to contend with the fact that if monsters were real, some of them would be normies. Your werewolf boyfriend posts on LinkedIn. The tentacled horror you've been thirsting after is a Disney adult.

You did it, you made unimaginable horror within man-made comprehension.

somehow instead of saying "as a treat", I've started using the phrase "for morale", as if my body is a ship and its crew, and I (the captain) have to keep us in high spirits, lest we suffer a mutiny in the coming days.

and so I will eat this small block of fancy cheese, for morale. I will take a break and drink some tea, for morale. I will pick up that weird bug, for morale.

I'm not sure if it helps, but it does entertain me

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white 44 year old twitter user with a03 addict in their bio: omg the dad from cocomelon is actually kind of a litty dilf? and his relationship with the mailman is kind of enemies to lovers villaincore let me know if i should make them both pee on eachother

worlds youngest and yet most verbose baby online: can you seriously like knock if off man im trying to learn about the rhombus

white 44 year old twitter user with a03 addict in their bio: fuck off worlds youngest and yet most verbose baby. just another puriteen minor inserting themselves into adult spaces. go play in the sandbox Also heres ur dox: 123 Circle Road ..... yea i have that....if someone shows up to your house and shoots you and kills you then thats deserved 🤷‍♂️ know your fucking place and get the hell out of the cocomelon fandom if youre not ready to see dark topics

a scientist at mit about to change the world forever: i just made my own centipede by sewing all the dead flies in my room together with all the dead ants in my room 😃☝️

the first man made centipede: kill me again

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i think if i had the ability to lie down and like. open up slots in my body to release hot air and steam and all that shit it would fix me. like if every time i laid down i could just. PSSHHHHTTT all the tension out of my body

I need some big fucking cooling vents that I can exhale steam from dramatically like a mecha

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YEAH LITERALLY THIS

Okay so I did some research, very basic research, on the user base of tumblr and how many of us there are.

There are at least 300 million unique visitors worldwide on this site. Over 500 million blogs.

Listen. Tumblr is $30 million in debt. This is Super easy for us to solve.

If each user gifts one blog crabs, which costs slightly over $3, that would be roughly $600 million at least. Far more than enough to get Tumblr out of the red zone.

If we want tumblr to stay afloat and not change something as integral about their operating system, we need to show them they can be profitable without reducing themselves to common social media sites. What we have here is special. It is different. We are the social media site people run to when theirs collapses and for good reason.

If we want this to work, we have to make it work. We can even make it into a game. Just how long can we outlast the other social media sites?

Yes that’s exactly what I’m saying.

It needs to be a holiday. Pick a date a few weeks from now, and just make it Crab Day. Maybe a Saturday as a lot of people are paid on Fridays. Just in case this post becomes more popular than any I've had before, lets set the date as the last Saturday in July (which for us in 2023 will be July 29th.)

On July 29th, gift as many crabs as you can without breaking the bank. Post crab memes if you cannot afford a crab.

Tumblr can pull this off. Tumblr likes doing things like this.

Guys there's an account for this now @crab-day-counter

btw I know ppl on this site go on abt mutuals but if you are someone that shows up in my notes regularly who I don't follow, I do notice and I am fond of you and if you reblog something from me I do think "YES I have pleased the follower with good taste"