I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (“say bye bus!”) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it.

I’m glad there’s a teacher version of “accidentally called teacher ‘mom’”

when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call people “my lord”

One time during family prayer, dad began: “our father who art in heaven, American Airlines, how can I help you?”

One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was supposed to say ‘Welcome to White Castle, what’s your crave?’) asked, “Welcome to White Castle, what’s your problem?”

She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing.

Yesterday I went to Wendy’s and the girl said “Welcome to McDonalds” and then just sighed

Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered “please open your books to page eight”, and we just kind of stared at each other, blinking.

i work retail full time and my script gets frequently messy - ill ask the same question twice, or say “$2.60 is your total” while handing back their change, or say “how are you doing today?” instead of “have a good day!” like name it ive bungled it

but anyway, this lady came thru my line buying a book and the review on the front said: “few books are well written, fewer still are important, and this book manages to be both”

as i handed her the bag i was trying to say “thanks, youre all set” and instead my brain mashed up the review and i said “thanks, youre important”

there was this short pause in which i tried to figure out what the fuck id just said. she blinked and then said “oh thank you! youre important too!”

the real kicker was one of my coworkers. when i was relating this story later his response was “at least you said something NICE. last week i accidentally combined ‘youre welcome’ and ‘no problem’ into ‘youre a problem’”

one time, since I used to work as a daycare teacher with preschoolers, i was on my college campus in my gym, and someone was running in the weight room and tripped over a machine and fell, and instead of offering to help, I just stared and said, “This is why we use our walking feet.” we both sat there for a while until the guy nodded and said, “yeah, okay, i should’ve done that.”

I’ve spent a good chunk of time working in kitchens, so I still will reflexively say shit like “behind” and “coming around” as I maneuver through spaces and around people.

Which, actually, not such a bad thing; I’m a big guy and can come across as imposing pretty easily. The position calls can help defuse that, and also help avoid collisions.

Less good is the time my brain was half functional and I let slip a “coming with a knife” while grocery shopping. THAT took some explaining.

I work in an office and send tens of emails to customers every day. Once my mum asked me to send her a train ticket I had bought for her. I emailed her “Hello mum, as agreed, please find attached the ticked you requested. Thanks, Alex”

i worked as a camp counselor, and i would have the kids tap somewhere on my legs if they needed something because im a pretty tall dude. today asked my cat if he needed something.

I have woken up in a cold sweat saying “is that for here or to go?”

Every time a friend thanks me, and I respond with “gladly” or “my pleasure”, I die completely 1000% inside

I work at a plasma donation center. When processing donors, we call them by name, they walk up to the counter, and then we ask for their name and donor number. One time, instead of saying “Robert” I hollered “Name and donor number!?” into a full waiting room. Three people started announcing their names and donor numbers before we all realized that I fucked up.

In college, I was a barista at Borders (remember Borders, you guys?!) I once drove through Taco Bell on my way home after a shift. When the cashier said, “okay, that’ll be $5.46!” I cheerfully responded, “Do you have a Borders rewards card?”

I have dealt with so many difficult customers over the years that I used to angrily call my dog “Sir” when I was mad at him.

My first job was at my nearest Panera, and after coming home from a ten-hour Sunday morning shift, I was exhausted; but when my mom called me to come downstairs, instead of replying in the grumpy teenagerish tone I usually would, I said in my cheeriest, fakest voice, “Not a problem at all, let me just check with my manager!” before realizing my mistake.

my coworker went to back up the cash registers one time and she had been at customer service right before. when we finish with a customer we have to sometimes get the attention of the next person and will shout “i can get the next person in line!” but instead of saying that she yelled “HI WHAT CAN I HELP YOU WITH” to everyone in the general area

I have told my dog “no thank you” so many times after working at a preschool

a couple of times i’ve gotten stuck in a hello how are you good how are you good how are you loop with an equally tired Fred Meyer’s cashier after a long shift but the best time was after a 10 to 10 post-holidays after they told me my total, I asked if they would like a bag today and after a confused few seconds they were like, “no… I have the bags”

Worked in a gallery where we asked people to take off their backpacks in order not to accidentally damage paintings. So when I went to the shop later and saw a guy in the line in front of me, I told him he had to remove his backpack. He probably thought I was politely trying to rob him.

The other day they had me working with softserve and fried dough. I was burned out because I kept bouncing back and forth between the fryer and my register and these people had like, 8 things in their order. We get to the ice cream part of the order, and it comes in a bowl or cone. Instead of saying “Would you like the vanilla in a bowl or cone?” I said “Would you like the bowl in a vanilla or cone?” And we all stopped and had to think that through as my cart runner is staring me down like “tf are you doing?”

I work at Hardees and we have to yell “thank you” whenever we’re told to do something because of how loud the kitchen is.

One morning, my mom hollered at me to wake up, and half-asleep me yells at full volume,

“THANK YOU”

i work with dogs, and i have to be a bit strict with them sometimes in order to keep fights from breaking out. recently, while making tea, the kettle started boiling sooner than i wanted, so without thinking i turned around sharply, pointed my finger at it and stared it down, and said, “Bad boy! You need to wait!” needless to say i was very glad i was alone

I know I’ve reblogged this a billion times but I’ve worked retail for 8 years and these things are never not funny.

good morning!

Good afternoon!

Goodnight!

Sweet dreams!

Harley & Ivy

This is why I love them!

Harley is an abuse survivor of course she’d wreck this dude!!!

Can I just say how much I love the implications here? Harley and Ivy are known public figures. People know who they are, and recognize them. And this kid knows that, despite being violent criminals, they’re safe enough to go to for protection. Ivy is dead certain that the Batfamily will be okay with them intervening to protect a kid. That has some intersting implications - either she knows damn well where the lines lie and that this is overriding enough to get her a pass, or (more likely, given the first bit) this has come up before.

one of my favorite tropes is villains acting heroically not because the other villain is a threat to them or because it benefits them, but because they have standards

For the Honor of Grayskull!

(DON’T REPOST TO OTHER SITES)  //  FULL SIZE VERSION ON MY DA (<-link in my blog header)

ONE DAY AT A TIME IS SUCH A WHOLESOME SHOW! 

Seriously, it’s on Netflix, and it is so good. Everyone needs to go watch it and I’m not exaggerating. Everyone needs to go watch it or else it won’t be renewed for a third season and we need this wholesome representation in our lives people!

I’d recommend this show all day every day.

the only thing i knew about sex at the age of nine was that

1) it was for mommies and daddies who were married;

2) it made me, my five year old sister, and my baby brother.

i learned everything i knew about sex from the internet while secretly browsing grownup sites on my 4th generation ipod touch i earned for doing so well at a piano recital. because of the nature of, you know, men and their internet porn, i learned that my sexual role as a woman was to be slapped and pissed on and tied up. i didn’t know what healthy sex was. i didn’t know it should be mutually consensual, or that it was okay to want sex with girls. i didn’t know that sex should be good for both people. i learned that sex would hurt, and that sex was about men and men only, and that i would be forced into sex whether i liked it or not, and that it was normal to have sex with big, burly, grown men as a teenager. i learned it was normal to cry during sex. i was scared of sex for so many years because of that, and the way i was exposed to sex at a young age led to the inappropriate and traumatic sexual encounters i had (occasionally with older people) later on in my teen years.

the day i got my first period, i was ten-and-a-half. i was swimming in the river with my best friend, and when i got out to go to the bathroom, i noticed brown blood on the inside of my mint-green tankini bottom. i knew what a period was, but i hid it from my mother in shame. she found out, eventually, of course. she told me, you have a woman’s body now, and if you have sex, you could have a baby. all i heard was, you have a woman’s body.

i started shaving my vulva when i was eleven, because i saw memes on memegenerator about how disgusting “hairy pussy” was. i wanted to be sexy. i was eleven years old, and all i wanted was to be sexy. it hurt, and it itched, and it made me uncomfortable, and i’d sometimes nick my labia with the razor, but i did it anyway, because i didn’t want to have a nasty, “hairy pussy.”

eleven was the age i first started getting pinched on the EL. i was an early bloomer: i had B-cup breasts already, and my menstrual cycle was regular enough that i could keep a calendar. i started wearing a full face of makeup to school and buying shorts that rode all the way up my skinny twelve-year-old thighs. i remember the day i stopped jumping off the swings the summer after fifth grade. skinned knees weren’t sexy. smooth, flawless legs were sexy, and i was a sexy girl. i was probably the sexiest little girl in the whole world. my parents hated it. they told me i was too young, but i knew the truth. my body was older, maybe 17 or 18, so my brain must be, too.

when i was twelve, i had a secret kik account that my parents didn’t know about. i used it to message strangers. i made all sorts of friends. i wasn’t stupid. i used a fake name. never showed my face. one of my friends asked me for a bra picture. i was a cool girl, right, i was sexy, so i sent him a picture of me in front of my bedroom mirror in my little white training bra with the blue butterflies.

sexy, he said.

that was all i wanted.

i’m not typing out all this bullshit because i think it’s something special. i’m typing it out because it’s not. i’m typing it out because i see the same thing happening to my little sister. i’m typing it out because i see the same thing happening to that little millie bobbie brown, sexiest actress at thirteen. i’m typing it out because i’m sixteen years old now, a girl in the eyes of the law and a woman in the eyes of men.

mothers, talk to your daughters. tell them to jump off the swingset and skin their knees. tell them to get dirt on their dresses. tell them that they’re a woman on their 18th birthday, not at ten-and-a-half on the first day of their menstrual cycle. the world is confused. the world is sick. if your daughters don’t hear about how to treat their bodies from you, they’ll hear it from the sick, sick world, and they’ll do the things i did.

let girls be girls.

don’t force womanhood on little girls.

i encourage men to reblog this post

IM SCREAMING

IT CAME FULL CIRCLE IM HOLLERIN

IT JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER

IS HE GOING TO BE DRAFTED NEXT???!!!??

This is so sweet and pure. Lol.

I’m crying. I’m also rooting for the Blues now.

@kvnbksa have you seen the updates?

more updates

I love when he says “I want the jersey of someone who’s literally the worst” and Tarasenko is like “This is my moment”

I love this so much!

a wholesome post

I rewatched Captain America: Civil War last night and when Peter and Steve are talking during the airport fight scene, Peter says 

“He also said I should go for your legs” and he kinda chuckles 

and the only thing I could think of was that Peter saw that vine “How did you take down Captain America?” and the guy responds in a Russian accent, “We shot him in the legs because his shield is the size of a dinner plate and he’s an idiot”

this is canon now.

JUST LETTING Y'ALL KNOW WHERE THIS BLOG STANDS.

Reblog every time it hits my Dash

Proving a point to my boyfriend.

PLEASE REBLOG if you (male or female) believe it is perfectly okay and natural for a guy of any age to cry

I’ve never hit reblog faster or harder.

Same lmao

let’s go y’all

Witch Aesthetics

Here’s a summary of all I have done so far, because I keep getting requests for ones I have already made, so hopefully this is an easy way to find what you’re looking for!

Animal Witches:

Flying:

Swimming:

Slithering / Crawling:

Reptiles:

Dog Family:

Cat Family:

Other Small Mammals:

Other Large Mammals:

Magical:

Color Witches:

Male Witches:

Other Witches:

A

B

C

D

F

H

I

J

K 

L

M

N

R

S

T

W

Other Aesthetics

Here’s a summary of my non-Witch aesthetics.

Halloween Aesthetics:

Mythical Aesthetics:

Fairy Aesthetics:

Nymph Aesthetics:

Fruit Aesthetics: 

Food Aesthetics:

Winter Aesthetics:

Disney Heroine Aesthetics: 

Disney Hero Aesthetics:

Hogwarts Aesthetics:

American Horror Story Aesthetics:

Element Aesthetics:

Song Aesthetics:

Zodiac Aesthetics:

Vintage Aesthetics:

History Aesthetics:

Personal Aesthetics:

Animal Aesthetics:

Autumn Aesthetics:

Bee & PuppyCat Aesthetics:

Other Aesthetics:

Coffee Witch

Flower Asks

Alisons: Sexuality? 

Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender? 

Amaryllis: Birthday? 

Anemone: Favorite flower? 

Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show? 

Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger? 

Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes? 

Aubrieta: Favorite drink? 

Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? 

Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love? 

Baneberries: Favorite song? 

Basket of Gold: Describe your family. 

Beebalm: Do you have a best friend? Who is it? 

Begonia: Favorite color? 

Bellflower: Favorite animal? 

Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person? 

Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be?

Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? 

Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children? 

Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why? 

Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood. 

Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth?  

Buttercup: Relationship Status? 

Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go? 

Candytufts: When do you feel most loved? 

Canna: Do you have any tattoos?  

Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings?  

California Poppy: Height?  

Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts? 

Carnation: What are you currently wearing?  

Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight? 

Chives: Who was the last person you hugged?  

Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed?

Cock’s Comb: Favorite font? 

Columbine: Are you tired? 

Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to? 

Coneflower: Dream job? 

Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert? 

Crocus: Have you ever been in love? 

Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about? 

Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it? 

Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign? 

Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering? 

Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment? 

Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)?  

Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to?

False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at? 

Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at? 

Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month? 

Garden Cosmos: How was your day today? 

Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life? 

Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two? 

Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life? 

Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed?  

Hellebore: How do you show affection? 

Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of? 

Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day. 

Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?  

Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them?

Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything?

Laceleaf: How many friends do you have?

Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received? 

Larkspur: What do you think of yourself? 

Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself? 

Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself?  

Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child? 

Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid? 

Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for? 

Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?  

Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name? 

Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it. 

Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up? 

Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?  

Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom.

Onions: Tell about your dad.  

Orchid: Tell about your grandparents. 

Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable? 

Peony: What was your first job? 

Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any? 

Pincushion: How do you deal with pain? 

Pink: Where is home? 

Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change? 

Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them. 

Primrose: Describe your ideal life. 

Rhodendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child? 

Ricinus: Who’s the most important in your life? 

Rose: What’s your favorite sound? 

Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory? 

Sage: What’s your least favorite memory? 

Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want?  

St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things? 

Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without? 

Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night? 

Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning? 

Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job? 

Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing? 

Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic.  

Tulip: What would be the best present to get you? 

Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now? 

Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called? 

Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?

Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?

Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.

Cliques & Friend Groups

As a part of the Harry Potter Multifandom AU, while pre-existing friend groups would likely hang out together, I figured I’d also go through and lump together some characters who would bond in other ways. Some groups have less official members who regularly tag along but are not really part of the core group.

The Delinquents The students most likely to start a food fight, get caught breaking curfew, or talk back to their professors, if the punch gets spiked or ingredients from the potions office go missing, it’s likely their doing.

The Goth/Emo Kids Misery loves company, and nobody understands a tortured soul better than someone else who’s had a similar life. In a school full of loud-mouthed idiots, sometimes having a small group of introverts you can surround yourself with is just what you need to recenter yourself. Unofficial Member: Katsuki Bakugo, Jim Hawkins

The Sunshine Brigade A collection of the sweetest people, they’re all sunshine given human form. They’re collectively some of the most popular students, as they are friends with the majority of the student body regardless of house, and they’re some of the only students who have been in all four common rooms while hanging out with their friends in other houses. They’re more of a collection of people than a direct friend group.

The Pranksters If something goes wrong, they’re probably to blame. From filling shoes with shaving cream to greasing the quidditch team’s broomsticks, nobody is safe from their juvenile antics. They tend to prank the houses pretty evenly, but Slytherin and Ravenclaw get the brunt of it due to how much more drastically they tend to react to the prank. Unofficial Members: Ashido, Sero, Kaminari, Kirishima, Jim Hawkins

The Techno Geeks Always fiddling with their latest inventions, if you hear an explosion, good chance that it’s a failed experiment from this lot. Despite discovering their magical abilities, it doesn’t stop their scientific curiosity. Unofficial Members: Jim Hawkins

The Party Animals If they aren’t the ones throwing the party, they know about any and all that are, on campus or off. Alongside the Delinquents and the Pranksters, they’re the most likely to get in trouble for breaking school rules.

The AP Students This group of students show the most skill with magic and were placed in advanced classes as a result of their proficiency with magic. They all practice magic in their core series.

The Honor Roll The Students who get the best grades, they often study in a large group or in small sub-groups. There’s fierce competition between them for the highest grades.

ok y'all have been sorting pjo characters into hogwarts houses which would be nice if you were doing it right

it’s great that you’re trying and all but the thing is, I find a lot of them following the same pattern:

All the demigods are automatically in Gryffindor, because they’re super brave. Octavian and Ethan Nakamura and Clarisse and all sorts of people the fandom doesn’t like are obviously in Slytherin because, you know, Slytherin is hella evil. Then we’ve got the stuck-ups in Ravenclaw and the background characters in Hufflepuff, ‘cause apparently it’s the potato House.

Since all this is hella stereotypical and not at all correct, I was like, well, what would I do? Well hERE IS THE ANSWER ASSHATS

*bill nye voice* please…cOnSiDeR tHe FoLLoWiNg

Percy is a hella Hufflepuff, no denying it, not one bit. He doesn’t care about a position or nothing, he is just a pure Hufflepuff inside and out.

Let’s talk about some major Hufflepuff qualities here:

• Dedication (yo my boy percy is pretty dedicated to the camp and to staying alive am i right i mean he was literally not at all tempted to join kronos’ army like ever soo yeah. also. consider a thing. have u even read the books. if they are a smol bean and he has met them at least 15 mins ago u bet ur lil ass he’s dedicated)

• Patience (percy has not decapitated a SINGLE god on purpose and they all keep coming back, i mean it’s bound to happen someday but CMON YOU GOTTA ADMIRE HIM FOR THAT. literally so patient. even by ADHD standards and its ok u can ask me i have ADHD but that’s beside the point back to percy now)

• Loyalty (it’s his freaking fatal flaw wtf else do you want from him??? to jump into tartarus out of loyalty to his girlfriend??? you do one wrong thing to percy’s friend and he will mESS UP YOUR SHIT LIKE A TRUE HUFFLEPUFF DON’T EVEN PRETEND HE WON’T. remember nancy? I THOUGHT SO. FIRST FEW PAGES OF THE SERIES. AND IT ONLY GETS BETTER)

THAT BEING SAID: ALL THESE THINGS ARE DEF PRETTY IMPORTANT TO PERCY OKAY

Conclusion: HELGA HUFFLEPUFF IS HAPPY THAT SHE HAS SUCH A HELLA HUFFLEPUFF IN HER HOUSE WHERE HE BELONGS.

Don’t try to tell me my girl Annabeth is a Ravenclaw because she ain’t no Ravenclaw get outta my face and let me lay down some FACTS here

LOOK AT THESE SLYTHERIN/ANNABAE TRAITS

• Cunning (we all know what this means so lemme just throw down some hella rad SYNONYMS because those are just the bOMB DIGGITY: we got crafting, scheming, designing, and calculating rn. YOU KNOW WHO IS ALL OF THOSE THINGS? MY GIRL ANNIE. FIGHT ME. I GOT ANNABETH ON MY TEAM AND SHE WILL SLAY YOU WITH HER CLEVERNESS AND DECEIT BEFORE SHE EVEN TAKES OUT HER DAGGER. SHE TRICKED ARACHNE INTO WEAVING HER OWN DEATH TRAP FOR ZEUS’ SAKE)

• Resourcefulness (lil bby annabeth ran away from home in SAN FRANCISCO when she was SEVEN and met luke and thalia in RICHMOND which is in VIRGINIA. SHE WAS SEVEN AND SOMEHOW WENT FROM THE WEST COAST TO THE EAST COAST. GOTTA BE RESOURCEFUL FOR THAT. also remember that time when she broke her ankle, scolded it, then made a cast out of bUBBLE WRAP? BECAUSE I DO. AND THEN THE WHOLE WEAVING A BRIDGE THING. DANG GIRL.)

• Ambition (don’t deny it this girl’s fatal flaw is pride and those two things are connected aS SHIT. SHE’S SO INTENT ON BEING AN ARCHITECT THAT SHE GOT THE GODS TO GIVE HER A JOB REDESIGNING MOUNT OLYMPUS AND THATS A BIG ASS THING IF I DO SAY SO MYSELF. reminder that this girl had the chance to get away from a sphinx but she challenged it instead because it was sorta insulting?? who else do we know is like this?? oh yeah fUCKIGN SLYTHERINS)

ANNABETH BAMF CHASE HAS ALL THESE QUALITIES AND SHE KNOWS IT. THAT’S WHY SHE USES THEM TO HER ADVANTAGE SO OFTEN.

Conclusion: SALAZAR SLYTHERIN SAYS ANNABETH CHASE CAN SLAY HIS BASILISK ANYTIME THAT’S HOW PERFECT SHE IS FOR THIS HOUSE.

LEMME TALK TO YOU ABOUT A THING HERE. A BIG THING. AN IMPORTANT THING. JASON IS A RAD LIL RAVENCLAW BOOGER AND HERE’S WHY. THERE ARE A WHOLE LOTTA RAVENCLAW TRAITS BUT IMMA GIVE YOU 3.

• Wisdom (yeah annabeth’s mom may be the goddess of wisdom but if jason wasn’t wise then how the heckity heck would he have survived long enough to be made a freaking PRAETOR. also you know what fight me. jason is the equivalent of a giant dog that is a floofer and goes boof and loves small children but that has nothing to do with wisdom anyway he is one of the smartest out of the seven)

• Individuality (yeah that’s a thing go ask my girl JK. if jason isn’t so Original™ then explain to me please how he restored the Fifth Cohort to awesomeness?? he was a total badass who didn’t take any shit and turned it around for the whole cohort that’s how. this lil boi is an individual yis. one might ask how can one be a badass but also be a fluffball? well jason did it so stop asking ok)

• Acceptance (we are talking about the official mom friend and the founder of the nico di angelo protection squad what else do you want him to do, hug mother earth??? he wrote the song you’ve got a friend in me because he loves everyone)

SEE HERE: JASON IS A TOTAL DORK NERD WHO POKES PIPER AND GOES “PIPER. PIPER LISTEN TO THIS THING I FOUND OUT TODAY. PIPER ISN’T IT AWESOME”

Conclusion: NOWHERE ELSE IS WHERE JASON GOES. HE WEARS THE RAVENCLAW DIADEM TO ALL OF HIS CLASSES. FIGHT ME. ALSO THE GREY LADY BC HE MAKES HER COOKIES AND SHE LOVES IT EVEN THOUGH SHE’S DEAD AND CAN’T EAT THEM.

Consider yourself a thing. Consider all of the Gryffindor Piper things. JUST CONSIDER THEM.

• Recklessness (subtle reminder that Piper used her charmspeak to fuckign steal stuff even though she knew she would get caught. also consider yourself some other things. remember when she anNIHILATED A FRICKIN GODDESS WITH HER IMPULSIVENESS BECAUSE YES. remember when she and anniebell had to do the thing with the stuff that was all about feelings and shit but lil orphan annie over there was totally lost and all like “this is hella illogical” and pipes was just all “we just gotta dO THE THING ANNABETH” and it was total badassery bc it’s the reason i live)

• Bravery (this girl went on her first quest like a week after she found out she was a demigod and would probably die a painful death bUT DID SHE STUTTER?? nah. REMEMBER WHEN SHE SCREAMED AT A CROWD OF ANGRY ROMAN CHILDREN WHO WANTED MURDER BECAUSE JASON GOT HIT IN THE HEAD WITH A BRICK AND SHE HAD TO PROTECT HIM??? BRAVE. went on her first quest knowing that her dad was probably gonna die and did all the things to make the giants angry and plan a rescue??? BRAVE AF.)

• Chivalry (HELLA amazing friend because she’s just sO GENUINE AND KIND and you know that if someone hurts you she will CUT THEM WITH HER SUPER BADASS KNIFE THAT GIVES PEOPLE NIGHTMARES. stands by jason ALL THE TIME especially when he needs her and actually everyone can count on her for all of the things.)

SO: IF YOU DON’T THINK PIPER IS HELLA BRAVE THEN YOU ARE VERY WRONG MY DEAR FRIEND.

Conclusion: Piper would have defeated Voldemort by year 2 but sadly she was not the chosen one. GODRIC GRYFFINDOR SAYS HER FACE SHOULD BE PERMANENTLY ENGRAVED ON HIS SWORD SO THAT THE LAST THING THEIR ENEMIES SEE IS THE CUTE AND UNFORGIVING FACE OF PIPER MCLEAN.

On the subject of Leo: This child is a Ravenclaw through and through no evidence needed but jUST IN CASE I WILL TALK TO YOU ABOUT THE STUFF.

• Creativity (we are talking about a smol bean who makes tiny helicopters and stuff that actually works WHEN HE IS NOT EVEN LOOKING AT WHAT HE IS DOING OR PAYING ANY ATTENTION TO IT. remember how this child saw a terrifying bronze dragon that everyone had tried and failed to tame and just went “sweet, imma grab that so we can ride off into the Canadian sunset”??? yeahp. remember when apollo needed a thing so he just casually freaking iNVENTED A BRAND NEW INSTRUMENT LIKE IT WAS NBD??? I DO. BADASS)

• Originality (leo practically becomes famous for his abilities to come up with plans that are so ridiculously original that nobody figures out what’s happening before it’s too late and if that’s not good enough for you then idk what is. allow me to raise you the cyclops incident, right next to the robot eidolons thing plus that whole fiasco where he fuckign died, also did i mention the valdezinator or the fact that he was the only person to ever figure out how to return to ogygia?? this kid is a mechanical engineer already and he’s 16 im pretty sure baby eight year old leo sat through calculus classes at a local college and got the best grades tbh)

• Wit (leo is the master of comebacks and rash two-minute ideas that actually end up working like damn son this is a purebred Ravenclaw right here lemme just appreciate this. also hey remember that time where he got launched off of a flying ship and was hurtling downwards at a very alarming rate because you know that’s what happens when you fall and he literally actually built himself a working helicopter so that he wouldn’t die all while free falling from probably at least a few thousand feet in the air like damn son)

AS A FOOTNOTE: LEO CAN RIVAL ANNABETH IN KNOWLEDGE I MEAN HE IS A MECHANICAL ENGINEER WHAT MORE DO YOU ASK FOR

Conclusion: Leo and Jason share the diadem. Leo gets it on mondays, wednesdays and fridays and Jason gets to wear it on tuesdays, thursdays and saturdays and on sundays they surrender it to the marble bust of Rowena Ravenclaw in the Ravenclaw Tower who says that LEO DESERVES TO BE IN RAVENCLAW EVEN MORE SO THAN YOUR AVERAGE STUDENT COME AT ME BRO

ok well hazel is somehow both my child and my mom so I’m not exactly sure how that works but anyway hERE ARE ALL THE REASONS THAT HAZEL IS A BEAUTIFUL, BADASS SLYTHERIN.

• Cunning (hey y'all remember that time with the cliff and the turtle and the feet?? terrifying huh?? yeah girl slay!! hazel will trick you and manipulate you and you won’t have any idea it’s happening until you’re being gobbled up by your own gargantuan pet sea turtle. Slytherins are also known for achieving their ends in any and all ways and all i could think of was how my child actually literally fuckign died so that she could stop the rise of acelonywhatever and the whole time she was 13 and staring death and gaea right in the frickin face and she didn’t give any shits at all)

• Resourcefulness (let’s talk about that time when hazel was “captured” by the amazons and basically had nothing so she did the only logical thing which was drown them in massive piles of jewelry from the warehouse and make them beg for mercy, also there was this horse thing that nobody could touch and she just casually goes “oh just a sec lemme summon a giant gold nugget that was probably at least a mile into the dirt because how else would it be this big” and he loves her and she rides him into victory. did i mention that hazel is my mom?? this is just one (1) of the sUPER RAD RESOURCEFUL THINGS that hazel manages to pull off)

• Ambition (hazel both believes and knows for a fact that she can literally do all of the things and she never once doubts herself like at all because she is AMAZEBALLS LIKE THAT. SHE WAS 13 AND THE AMAZONS WERE ALL LIKE “DANG GIRL WE WANT YOU ON OUR TEAM” and she was like “i got this huge to-do list but nbd i’ll get her done” like she is pURE CONFIDENCE AND. YES)

Also: SHE’S TOTALLY SUPER COOL WITH ALL THE THINGS AND IS NEVER FAZED. THAT IS MY GIRL.

Conclusion: HAZEL LEVESQUE IS SLYTHERIN AF AND WILL ALWAYS ACHIEVE HER ENDS NO MATTER HOW MANY GIANT SEA TURTLES SHE HAS TO FEED YOU TO. SALAZAR SLYTHERIN FRICKIN APPROVES AND THINKS THAT SHE IS JUST AS TERRIFYING AS ANNABETH.

Not gonna deny that my lil noob Frankie’s a tRUE PURE-HEARTED GRYFFINDOR. THIS IS WHY YOU SHOULD AGREE WITH ME.

• Chivalry (WE’RE TALKING ABOUT A CHILD WHO WILL TRIP OVER HIS OWN FEET AND PUNCH HIMSELF IN THE FACE IF IT MEANS HE’S SHOWING RESPECT TO YOU. my dude doesn’t care who you are, he will literally always show you respect until he’s given a reason not to. everything he eVER DOES is because he’s PROTECTING SOMEONE or he’s GETTING A LIL BIT OF PAYBACK and if that’s noT A GRYFFINDOR THING THEN DAMN SON YOU SHOULD REALLY SORT OUT YOUR PRIORITIES)

• Bravery (if you’re going to come into mY HOUSE and tell me that FRANK ZHANG ISN’T BRAVE then feel free to hit yourself in the face with a hammer because guess what losers?? this kid loses his mom and then his gma just goes “oh by the way you’re half god and you have a gift that you need to figure out for yourself and also here’s this piece of wood, don’t burn it or else you will actually die, now go with this pack of fuckign wolves to camp so that monsters won’t attack you and you won’t die, plus when you get there you have to beg forgiveness for this thing that your great grandfather did or else they might literally murder you. have fun” and frankie just rOLLS WITH IT AND KICKS ASS WHILE BEING A CUTE LIL CHUBBY BUNNY. LET’S NOT FORGET ABOUT HOW HE COMPLETELY OBLITERATED A WHOLE CITY’S WORTH OF MONSTERS to appease a stupid ass god and save nico and hazel from being forever plants and he gets back and trippy is absolutely terrified of him because omg he’s glowing red and he actually did the thing and oh also he kind of scared me so much that i sort of forgot i was a god and had power over him)

• Nerve (let me repeat how FRANK ENOUGH NERVE TO THREATEN A GOD WITHOUT EVEN THINKING OF THE CONSEQUENCES. I’M SO DONE WITH THIS. THIS IS MY SHIT THANKS. PLS APPRECIATE FRANKIE YOURE ALL BREAKING MY HEART. Also remember how he entrusted his real actual lifeline to somebody who wasn’t him like daaang boi that is so pure)

Additionally: FRANK ZHANG IS THE REASON I AM ALIVE AND WELL. ALSO REMEMBER HOW HE BECAME PRAETOR?? I DO BELIEVE THAT IS THE MOST BADASS WAY ANYONE HAS EVER BECOME PRAETOR PLEASE AND THANKS

Conclusion: GODRIC GRYFFINDOR CRIED WHEN FRANK WAS SORTED INTO HIS HOUSE. GODRIC DOESN’T THINK HE EVEN DESERVES FRANK. FRANK CAN HAVE 4 OF HIS SWORDS.

THIS HAS BEEN A THING. A THING WITH HOUSES AND PJO. I HOPE THIS WAS ENTERTAINING AT LEAST. THANK YOU KINDLY.

Reblog if you say "fuck" more than 5 times a day.

Me: *listening to Bohemian Rhapsody* “THUNDERBOLT AND LIGHTNING VERY VERY FRIGHTENING ME!!”

My earphones:

I heard this post exactly how it demonstrates

- prompt list -

Prompt List #1 ♛ Imagines