i know it feels like the hardest thing to do right now
i know you have some trauma from previous times
and i know that it is your fault ,,,you simply let it happen knowing the consequences
and i know its very hard and confusing
but i also know that you can do it ...
and somehow , somewhere along the way , you will figure it out...
i like to think that one of these days i will be brave enough to make a choice
a definitive choice
to either just end it or get better
and by end it ; i mean live as i am and just not care and fight the pain as it comes....and just accept it .
or get better and just 180 change myself, my thoughts ,my life.
Ugh , im still here...
With all my silly thoughts
With all my sorrows and regrets
What a silly pitiful life i lead
Full of awkwardness
Full of embarrassment
I often wonder
Why on earth am i still on this earth
Why...
Im nothing
Nobody
I should be a spect of dust
Thrown by the wind
Forgotten
As if i never ever been around
I wish to never , ever ,,,ever,, stay around .
Maybe its for the best
This mess
This stress
It shall pass
But what wont comeback
That is My heart ,, its not the same
I am done .
I can't do this anymore....
-“You believe in miracles?” -“Not today.”
Amélie (2001)
Just start
Please ,just start ...even if its the same things..even if its little step
Don't let the hours pass by with you still stuck not knowing what and where to start
Im sure many things are obvious and clear as a starting point and you just need to begin..please
Keep trying
Never stop
Just start...
You must train urself to hide how you feel most of the time
Only very few situations actually requires u showing how u really feel
Other times , well ..u r just gonna end up hurting urself and upsetting urself over things that arent even worth ur time amd nerve !
And eps. With ur husband...he doesn't need to know anything abt ur feelings!.
Keep yourself busy with you and u will never lose temper or peace over ppl and issues cause mostly , they dont matter !
People will not make you happy
You make you happy
People dont give you worth
You give urself worth
Just have Allah in ur heart and forget abt others .
Peace be with you .
This year started so weird...
Kinda really , really bad start
And it's always the same with me
Like ive been in similar situations and i thought i learned my lesson..but here i am again stuck in the pickle jar..again !
So day one . Lesson one :
Control your emotions ..
Do ur best to vent them quickly at the moment of encounter any possible way that wont cause damages..and deal with them honestly and calmly later on when things have cooled down
Try not to be very seen...
Have a poker face and wear it well
Most of what others blurt and say is rubbish and you should not let anyone's opinions about you or others or things affect you at all..its their opinions ..not yours..not facts !
The less you ask...the better
You are a very sensitive person and you tend to others feelings and you try to make them feel good always .but this unfortunately is a bad thing most of the time, it often back fires badly at you ..so train urself to be moderate and controlling of ur sensitivity and don't expect others to be as attentive to ur emotions as you are to them !
May u Have a better upcoming days .
