More Millennial Wooster and Jeeves

My co-authors whipped this up

Maybe people on the internet would enjoy this 10 year old meme in embroidery form. Kit by https://www.etsy.com/shop/CraftyQueerDesigns

it’s ninety-nine degrees outside, four fuck-thousand percent humidity, and my husband was like, “i’m gonna go for a bike ride.” and i was like “why. no. why. don’t put us on the news like that. local fool collapses on unnecessary journey. don’t do it.” so he says he doesn’t want to “hide in the house” because the sun is shining. bruh. honeybruh. “the sun is shining” does not cover it. its hot outside. its motherfucking hot as fuck outside. our outdoor plants have been crying into their hands all week. whole cars are melting into the sewer. our fucking patio umbrella developed sentience to ask me for lemonade this morning

@robotmango, you need to work for the weather forecast - this was both hilarious and so vivid it made me stand up and get some iced tea.

this is a great idea, thank you. here goes. my audition tape for the weather channel. dearly beloved. we are gathered here today to have a fucking funeral for the outdoors. it had a good run, with all its creeks and clouds and shit. pretty great. now it’s ten-thirty at night but still ninety-two asshole-sweating degrees and humid as fuck. everything is hot and slimy, like being a “borrower” that got trapped inside a bottle of shampoo and then accidentally microwaved. you can see on my doppler radar that nothing is moving around out there because everything is probably dead. the only alive thing is the mosquito currently trying to drill a hole in my leg. no surprise that all the shitbag mosquitos are fine, since the thermostat of hell is always at the devil’s preferred temperature. this forecast has gotten away from me a little, but in conclusion fuck the sun

i said i wasn't doing any more of these and then someone kept sending me more pretty birds 😔 (~2.5 hours speedpaint, based on photo by Mary Fran)

tfw you’re bothering a cat but not enough for it to MOVE so it just looks Disapprovingly at you

I would just like to point out. The ears are pointing forward. The cat’s sprawling out more as the bowl is shimmied as opposed to getting up to try and get out. That expression is hardly what i’d call disappointment. It’s actually enjoying being gently jostled! Can’t explain why, though. Could be the soothing jiggling motions, like how we sit in a vibrating massage chair sometimes. Or maybe it just sees this as an amusement part ride of sorts. Whatever it is, i can tell the cat is very relaxed and trusting of the person holding it in the bowl. I rate this VERY cute!

reblog to get jiggled

get jiggled, idiot!

My first biology professor had an ‘inadequacy drawer’ full of things to remind him he wasn’t, in fact, the dumbest and laziest person to ever exist. It was mostly Darwin, notably these two bits:

‘But I am very poorly today and very stupid and hate everybody and everything.’

‘I am going to write a little Book for Murray on orchids and today I hate them worse than everything.’

“I am at work on the second vol. of the Cirripedia, of which creatures I am wonderfully tired: I hate a Barnacle as no man ever did before, not even a Sailor in a slow-sailing ship.”

-Charles Darwin on a letter to his cousin

Charles Darwin: unexpected depression hero.

I knew about “I am very poorly and very stupid and hate everybody and everything,” but not the others. 

“I hate myself, I hate clover, and I hate bees” is A Mood.

My favorite Darwinism: “I am dying by inches, from not having any body to talk to about insects”.  Hits me right at the center of my hyperfixated soul.

I hate a Barnacle as no man ever did before

“The work has been turning out badly for me this morning and I am sick at heart and oh my God how I do hate species & varieties”

ALT

(thread)

Just reblogging for some Oklahoma rep.

hydrate or diedrate 

not a request

on the validity of recognizing emotions

I needed to find and reblog this because I didn’t want to have to draw me saying TEETH again

MY GOD WHAT HAVE I FOUND XD

I'm not sorry for having you know this exists XD

My sibling sent this to me with no explanation it’s how we communicate

attempting to manifest a snack with monday's warm up study (unsuccessful)

~3hrs

whoops

#when you set out for revenge dig two graves#unless you’re hamlet#in which case you’re going to want to rent a backhoe (x) YOU’RE NOT LEAVING THAT IN THE TAGS BUDDY

This is so

Unnecessary

how do you explain to someone that this is your sense of humour

“What could the audio possibly be?”

*unmutes*

“Oh,”

If I ever don’t laugh at this, assume I died.

Dignity, always dignity…

i saw a snarky tweet over the weekend about influencer charcuterie and the snark was spot on, but also i desire a little plate of cute treats, so that is what i decided to paint as a study today 😔

~2 hours