OMG this is going to be so cool

UNmatched is 1 of my favourite board games ever

And as anyone who has talked to me, about Mistborn knows I love Pulp action

But it gets even better cos this is focused on sentinels-style team play and has an option for solo play!!

And being UNmatched is of course fully compatible with ever else

also, everything else aside the specified level of compatibility means it's a box with 4 playable heroes and two 4 player maps which we haven't had since 2020

So I wasn't previously familiar with the heroes but now I've seen explanations and oh boy

Nikola Tesla - feel weird about recent historical figures being included but the lightning gun is cool

Jill Trent - who for my purposes is basically Marasi Colms from Mistborn

Annie Christmas - 7-ft tall super strong woman with a New Orleans accent what more do you need And

Golden Bat - the world's first superhero who looks like this

also, UNmatched is bringing back the split attack/defence cards from StarWars epic duels

in 1820, anything beyond pennsylvania was still "the south". nowadays NoVa barely even counts. most of florida certainly doesn't. by 2450, "the south" will be a narrow strip from savannah to shreveport. the last good barbecue recipe will be in the hands of a tiny enclave of primitive baptists, hidden in the fens of the okefenokee national wildlife refuge.

• An Oxford comma walks into a bar, where it spends the evening watching the television, getting drunk, and smoking cigars.

• A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.

• A bar was walked into by the passive voice.

• An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.

• Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”

• A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.

• Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.

• A question mark walks into a bar?

• A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.

• Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."

• A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.

• A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

• Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.

• A synonym strolls into a tavern.

• At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.

• A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.

• Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.

• A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.

• An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.

• The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.

• A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.

• The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.

• A dyslexic walks into a bra.

• A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.

• A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.

• A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.

• A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony

- Jill Thomas Doyle

A zeugma walked into a bar, my life and trouble.

If I read something on the asks that feels genuinely threatening or dangerous, or that's actually abusive, I just delete it and block the person.

If I'm answering an ask here you can assume that as far as I'm concerned even if it's apparently threatening or angry, it's meant humorously or with love.

It's never appropriate to dogpile people. Never appropriate to threaten or abuse them, even if you think you are doing it for me and with the best of intentions. Don't.

If you are upset on my behalf, or on behalf of all Tumblr users, just think "this is probably a tone-deaf attempt at humour" and let it go.

Reblogging because I'm seeing people upset or offended on my behalf. To repeat, If I'm answering an ask here you can assume that as far as I'm concerned even if it's apparently threatening or angry, it's meant humorously or with love.

If I think something is actually unpleasant or bad, I'll just block them.

Don't dogpile on my behalf. I don't want you to, I think it's actively a bad idea, and it's bullying. (Remember: it can still be bullying when more than one of you turn up, even when you think you're in the right or the aggrieved party.)

Play nice, never attribute to malice what can easily be attributed to internet-caused text-based tone-deafness or misinterpretation, and everyone will have an easier time.

The key to understanding Tumblr’s preoccupation with sad, pathetic men is that there are several distinct, only partially overlapping genres of sad and pathetic in play. “Clothes too big” pathetic is not the same as “inexplicably always damp” pathetic, and neither of these are the same as “makes you feel you need a tetanus shot just from looking at him” pathetic. A given character can of course fall into multiple categories, but they’re not interchangeable!

I was being cancelled because apparently it was classist to put feathers on dinosaurs.

Both dream me and irl me were very confused.

it might have been a dream, but feathered dinosaurs being linked to an ideology isn't that uncommon. Them being viewed as "leftist", "woke" or "gay" has occured several times.

I collect these examples.

reblog if you like dinosaurs, are gay, or just really like feathers

it can be frustrating talking to gay people who aren't into old art/media, because I'll talk about something I've seen lately and was really into, and a lot of times they don't understand that just because a movie is homophobic doesn't mean it's homophobic

and yeah like @shiny-good-rock mentioned, have you ever tried explaining old queercoding to someone who isn't also in the mines? "you can tell this guy is gay because he lives with his mom" "see the way he's creeping on that innocent waif girl? total homo maneuver" you end up sounding insane. you're 100% right but you sound insane

Every 21st century piece of writing advice: Make us CARE about the character from page 1! Make us empathize with them! Make them interesting and different but still relatable and likable!

Every piece of classic literature: Hi. It's me. The bland everyman whose only purpose is to tell you this story. I have no actual personality. Here's the story of the time I encountered the worst people I ever met in my life. But first, ten pages of description about the place in which I met them.

Modern writing advice: Yes your protagonist should have flaws but ultimately we should root for them and like them from the beginning :)

Charles Dickens: Here is the worst ugliest rudest meanest nastiest bitch you’ve ever met in your life.

Modern writing advice: Make sure your POV character goes through a significant arc! Make sure they are changed by the narrative! Make sure they learn a lesson!

Narrators of every book of the 19th century: the lesson I learned is these people fucking suck, sayonara you freaks

Modern writing advice: It’s all about the character overcoming obstacles and learning! They learn their lesson so they can fix their mistakes and make good choices in the future! It’s a character arc! It’s called growth! Readers love it!

Everyone from ancient times through the 19th century: would you like to watch a Guy fuck up twenty times in a row

do you ever think about how if you dive into the ocean and go deeper and deeper you will pass through layers of darker and darker blue until everything is black and cold and the pressure will be so intense that it will kill you without protection but if you keep going you will find little glowing specks of light, and if you go up into the sky and go higher and higher you will pass through layers of darker and darker blue until everything is black and cold and the pressure will be so intense that it will kill you without protection but if you keep going you will find little glowing specks of light

sometimes a post makes you get out of bed at 230am to spend a quick hour on something like this

really funny that every website is in an arms race to make itself as bad as possible and immediately someone makes a firefox extension to fix it

avg day on late Web 2.0

sometimes neurodivergence questions will be like ‘do you find activities more enjoyable when they are activities you enjoy’ and it really makes me wonder if this ‘neurotypical’ thing has just been a big practical joke all along

‘do you find it disruptive to your focus when your focus on a task is disrupted suddenly and without warning’ this CANNOT be diagnostic criteria. they are playing us for fools

"Do you find it difficult to make yourself complete dull or unpleasant tasks with no immediate benefits or rewards?" Not at all Margaret, I'm actively excited to take part in bad activities I don't like that make me feel bad

Adult ProTip, from a security professional: If a kid tells you, "My parents are gonna kill me / kick my ass / kick me out" for something relatively minor, don't respond with shit like "Really? ;) that sounds a little extreme, don't you think sweetie?" because that shit really does happen.

Instead, respond as though whatever threat they are afraid of is fully valid, and offer whatever you can do to help- ask if they believe they are in danger of being hurt in any way, and work accordingly.

If they're overreacting, they'll usually realize and dial it back, self-correct and begin thinking a bit more rationally.

If they're not overreacting, and the danger is real, then they'll need a level-headed adult in their corner, not another condescending authority figure who doesn't believe them.

"Boeing or Airbus" - the greatest thread in the history of forums, locked by a moderator after 12,239 pages of heated debate whilst furries draw their planes holding hands and kissing

holding wings, perhaps

Sleepy girlfriend x morning person girlfriend

Yes the A380 is a Big Beautiful Aircraft and the 747 is forever the Queen, but the 737 is old and ugly as sin! And Boeing is so shit now they couldn't come up with a new narrowbody so they put lipstick on a pig except this lipstick was made with arsenic and killed 346 people.

I demand vampires with parent issues. the parents in question have been dead for 7 centuries but their immortal offspring still bring them up every week in therapy

and no i don't mean their vampiric sire aka the rando who bit them in the woods one night and fucked off. i mean like the 14th cent stonemason who refused to let his kid apprentice with a traveling bard, because that's just not solid steady work, not like this here cathedral we've been building for generations, this is a respectable family business my lad, a blessing fallen right into your lap! and you going on and on about the hurdy-gurdy. traveling minstrel indeed!

According to Know Your Meme, on August 18th, 2005, Erwin Beekveld brought forth this work into the world. HAPPY TEN YEAR ANNIVERSARY, THEY’RE TAKING THE HOBBITS TO ISENGARD.

sheds a single tear

every august 18th my notifications break and i go, fuck, tumblr has failed me once again, but it hasn’t. it hasn’t failed me. it’s just the taking the hobbits to isengard-iversary. happy 12 years

a very important holiday amongst my people

FIFTEEN YEARS BABY

There’s a regular at the fabric superstore. She’s at least 80 years old, and she just got back into sewing after giving it up for 40 years. We’ll call her Irma.

I love Irma.

Irma is constantly surprised by the newfangled sewing gadgets our store sells. Today she bought some extra-fine glass-head pins and a magnetic pincushion. As I’m ringing her purchases up, she tells me very seriously, “did you know, if you’re careful, you can sew RIGHT OVER those pins? You don’t need to take them out!”

I told her that I liked that you can’t accidentally melt the head of the glass pins with your iron, and she nodded. “They used to all be like that, but times changed.”

I love old sewing machines and asked what kind of machine she has, and she goes, “Oh, it’s an old Singer Featherweight that my husband bought me when we were first married. It’s probably not worth anything anymore, but the thing sews fine. Have you seen the ones those girls over there–” indicating the sewing machine sub-store in my location “–have? Those things go in every direction and the needle always comes to the top when you stop sewing! Imagine how handy that is!”

I mention that I used to sew on my grandmother’s Featherweight but now there’s a intra-family war about who owns Grandma’s Featherweight and so no one gets to use it. It’s genuinely the best portable straight-stitch machine I’ve ever used.

I warn her to never let anyone tell her that Featherweight isn’t worth something. “I know, I miss my husband and it’s always going to have a place in my heart, just like your grandma’s.”

“I mean, Irma, there’s that, but they’re also worth a really notable amount of money. The Singer Featherweight is really financially valuable. I almost never see them for sale around here for less than about $400, and that’s in bad condition.”

“It’s a good thing my husband’s dead, honey, because if you told him that he managed to buy a sewing machine that’s worth more in 2021 than he bought it for in 1950, well, he’d be so smug that I just wouldn’t be able to tolerate driving home with him.”

please tell irma I love her

I killed the rat king of New York and inherited his throne by right of conquest or whatever, but I never took the rat oaths so I can speak to and command rats and they are compelled to obey, but they formally elected a rat president last year. I don't have any formal power in their social hierarchy but I have very real concrete magical power over them. I guess the title gets passed to my eldest son unless a rat kills me at some point.

all I use my powers for is making rats salute me when I walk by and they all hate it

seeing the terms “bad rep” and “good rep” applied to media that was created by and for an in-group makes me want to eat glass

“not sure if this is a good representation of the trans community :/“ right well a trans person made it, and they made it for other trans people, so. perhaps that logic is not applicable here. must we live our entire creative lives under the watchful eye of Cisgender Scrutiny? how can you compare self-expression to willful misrepresentation lmao

Y'all can keep at it with that “Romeo and Juliet fell in love in five days how immature” shiz but Macbeth went from no murder to yes murder in like one afternoon and I feel like one of those is a significantly bigger problem than the other

In his defense his wife triple dog dared him and called him a pussy

In his defense his

wife triple dog dared him and

called him a pussy

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

i think tumblr urls in the old superwholock fandom style are like those old household appliances that got discontinued because they had asbestos or uranium or whatever in them - maybe you have a beloved cousin or old high school friend who still has a dean-and-loki-in-the-tardis and sure it's not great but what are you gonna do, make them get rid of it? come on, that's katie's url, she's had it forever, it's fine. but if you find someone that has a brand new castieldrinkingteawithsherlock then something dark is afoot. they have regulations against making any more of those. you should be able to cut tumblr users open and count their rings like trees. i bet some of you got horny reading that last sentence