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I Am The Mistress Of Fandom

@mistressoffandom / mistressoffandom.tumblr.com

A fantastically eclectic collection of fandom, fantasy, and history curated sporadically, but with heart. Mostly just Lord of the Rings and bad history jokes though.
“One of the most interesting things about Elizabeth Turner was her Kiss of Death. Throughout the trilogy, all of the men she locked lips with has died - including Sao Feng in At World’s End, and (if you want to be petty about it) her father, Weatherby Swann. Usually they would die moments after kissing her for the first time. This excludes Will Turner who has kissed her several times before and beat the odds every time. However, even he succumbed to her kiss and died as well minutes after the two were hastily married by Barbossa. This is most likely a just coincidence and not something that was intentional, but years later it’s still fun to point out to friends and watch a dawn of realization hit their face when they realize that Pirate Queen Elizabeth may have also been the Grim Reaper.”

Alot of people seem to miss these two additional details:

  1. The kiss of death only works when she’s on a boat (she never kissed Will on a boat until their wedding)
  2. When the effect does kick in, the killing is preformed by the crew of the Dutchman.

When Jack died, he was killed by the Kraken, summoned by Davy Jones.

When Sao Feng died, was by the damage from the canons of the Dutchman

When Norrington died, it was by Bootstrap Bill, a member of it’s crew.

And when Will died, it was directly by the hands of Davy Jones.

One more thing that has struck me as odd is when she interracts with Davy Jones, he acts as if he’s seen her somewhere before. When the Empress crew point her out as the captain he has a sort of “wtf, you, you are their captain?” reaction, now you could just shake that of as Davy Jones being a misogynistic but i don’t doubt he’s seen female pirate captains before, given how long he’s lived. And when they come face to face on the Dutchman, it feels like a meeting between sworn long time enemies (at least to me).

Elizabeth, what the hell are you even and what exactly is your connection to the Dutchman.

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Well…

If the Dutchman and Davy Jones are the canonical undertaker of all sailors, then Elizabeth is the one who marks them. Which makes it very, very poetic that she marries the man who takes over as captain of the Flying Dutchman.

I will remind you all that at the very beginning of the trilogy, Elizabeth is the only one who can see the Black Pearl, which at that point is considered a ghost ship.

And we find out later that Davy Jones resurrected the Pearl from its place on the ocean floor in a deal with Jack.

So whatever her connection is, it long predates her adulthood.

The Addams Family renting out rooms in their huge mansion cheaply to broke college students.

The students digging it because the craziness and the bugs are pretty much the same as any other dorm house. Also, Morticia and Gomez treat them all like visiting cousins, not like tenants to abuse and exploit. 

One of the tenants is a creative writing major and Gomez and Morticia house them up in the tower because of the quiet and the inspiring view

They’re supposed to be working on a typical coming-of-age story but after living with the Addams for just a week the project is becoming a horror-Gothic-romance

They go to their room after classes one day and find Thing correcting the grammar errors in the manuscript with a red pen 

and yeah, the students pay roughly market value for their rooms, but that doesn’t stop gomez from shouting “capital idea!” and handing them wads of cash when they tell him about their weekend plans or what they’re researching, so they basically end up living there for free

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In the same vein, half the them have to turn into exceptional fencers, because Gomez just doesn’t give a shit, and if he sees you in the library, its fucking Sword Fighting Time. 

Fester and Pugsley find out one of the college students is trying to get into chemistry and woo boy, there has never been a faster study of how to counter various acidic chemical reactions due to “water” balloons in campus history. 

Morticia and Grammy are keeping the horticulturalists on their toes with their Black Tulip/Rose hybrids, which can flick their barbs a foot away from their stem system. But it’s fine, one of the kids has managed to breed Aloe with the anti venom. 

Lurch makes sandwiches for everyone who’s too much of a coward for Grammy’s cooking. Any music major will find him looming over them, utterly stone faced as they practise until they finish, when he’ll smile, and slowly applaud. 

And the spookiest thing of all

Wednesday and Thing will find your thesis. They will critique it in every way imaginable. 

There is no escape. 

I especially love the idea of Gomez spotting a student in the library, throwing a sword at a startled student, shouting, “En garde!” and lunging at him/her with a sword of his own.

Student (later in life), when asked how she jumps from quietly doing research to handling a sudden influx of ER cases so quickly and easily, says, “When you have to snap out of deep concentration on biochem to fight for your life then get back to biochem without losing your train of thought…you learn or you die.”

This has made me laugh so hard-

And you know how chatty Gomez is when he fights, he’d probably help more students work through creative blocks via swordplay than any education counselor in a stuffy little office.

Gomez Addams as the embodiment of the Rubber Duck Method for struggling students via surprise swordplay is directly on brand.

And I firmly believe that long-term residents who finish their degrees suddenly, mysteriously, find that their student loans have been paid off. The family attends every single graduation ceremony and claps and cheers for “their” students as boisterously as any parent. They make a particular point of doing so for the ones who have no other family in attendance.

do u ever want something so bad that you can’t even write wish-fulfillment about it u just. cry. instead.

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I fucking CRY everytime I read these. Out of the good feels.