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Glory To {Insert Name Here}!

@mistresskabooms

22 years old. God's curse upon the land. Jewish (reform). As straight as a rainbow. the girliest girl that ever did girl. icon by Absolutelysmittenxoxo. banner by Hammyterasu.   Team LVDR ask blog.

I bet octopuses think bones are horrific. I bet all their cosmic horror stories involve rigid-limbs and hinged joints.

To an octopus, a human is like a thinking being with blood-stained coral growing inside it.

I need to sit down and breathe into a bag for a while.

Its parts were obscenely limited in their movement. Each hinge could open or close only a small amount before reaching its limit, yet by working in concert they demonstrated unexpected dexterity, moving and manipulating the objects before it with cunning equal to my own. It was more torso than limb, as though a seal had been stretched and warped, given long grasping tentacles filled with bones like bars of coral.  It’s head was most horrid of all, flat and ovoid, jutting out too small from the trunk as though it belonged to a beast half its size.

The thing rose upon its lowermost appendages, two long trunks that ended in flat, protruding flippers that branched into stubby, grasping mockeries of a sucker. It’s triple-hinged uppermost limbs were similar, but the ends branched into five smaller tentacles, each with three hinges of their own.

I froze, as the thing’s gaze fell upon me and it opened its hideous fish-jaw, filled with thick, many-shaped teeth like white shards of stone, and spoke in a shrill, discordant babble. I felt its horrid dry grip on my flesh, as those hinged appendages closed on me like the legs of a crab.

I felt the heat of its body, tasted its noxious, oily flesh through my touch, and prepared for the end, and all went black as a swoon overtook me.

I awoke, some time later, the cold and comforting water, banished back to the comfort of the sea and the dark. I should be grateful I am alive. I should cast aside the experience like a half-remembered dream.

I shall never again go swimming in search of lights above. The last thing I recall before the darkness took me was my right eye popping free of the thing’s grasp enough to see into the distance for one brief moment.

I saw thousands of lights.

ok so it turns out “horror but it’s about something mundane from the perspective of a non-human animal” fucks severely

It has been more than 6 months and there are still people out here thinking Elon is playing 3D chess when he's barely playing tic-tac-toe and he keeps putting his X on top of whatever O he wants and yells at anyone who tells him that's not how you play the game.

𝔚𝔞𝔯 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔓𝔢𝔞𝔰 🍏🍏 2022 Wrapped 3/3 Here are your favorite WAPS comics from this year. We had so much fun making these! See you in 2023.

Man found the stoplight cameras were activated during yellow lights and decided to cut the wires of it.

Florida Man: Chaotic evil. New York Man: Chaotic good.

Holy shit. Nah dude look up the entire story, it’s INSANE.

The dude got arrested once before this for using a painter’s extension rod to point the stoplight cameras into the sky instead of cutting the wires. He didn’t cut the wires until AFTER he got out after being arrested the first time–which he did after posting facebook videos that prove that the stoplights are intentionally rigged to trick drivers into citations–the yellow lights at intersections with cameras only last THREE SECONDS, as opposed to the five seconds they last at other stoplights without cameras in the same county.

When he cut the camera cords, he reported his deeds to the news -himself,- and then politicians pressured the local police force into arresting him. The local police and sheriff deputies actually SUPPORT him for his actions because the lights have been killing innocent people! During his most recent arrest, one of the Sheriff’s Deputies actually -offered to bail him out-. When he got home again after these incidents, there was a surveillance camera planted at his house BY THE GOVERNMENT to watch him! His reaction to being surveilled? He painted over the camera in America’s flat out fucking ballsiest “fuck you” to the gubmint I’ve ever heard of. And it gets EVEN CRAZIER. After painting over the camera, suddenly this guy–his name is Stephen Ruth by the way–started GETTING ATTEMPTS ON HIS LIFE. He reports that a car intentionally tried to hit him in a head-on collision, and after talking about the car to his neighbors, they confirmed that the car in question (Or at least, one that was visibly identical, its occupants included) had been staking out his house! Somebody was legitimately trying to MURDER HIM over his discovery and his actions!

As a final insult to injury, Ruth pointed out that the VAST majority of the cameras were found SPECIFICALLY in lower-to-middle-class neighborhoods. As well, the victims of these rigged stoplights tried to go to the local news station to talk about the deaths of their family members that occurred from the rigging. Aaaand… The local station, “News12″, never aired their interviews. Remember how I said that, after cutting the cables and calling the local news station, Ruth was arrested because of pressure from politicians? Get this: News12 is actually owned by CableVision, who PROVIDES INTERNET SERVICE TO THE CAMERAS.  Whereas mister Ruth was only trying to help people and save lives, he’s been caught up in a full-blown fucking government conspiracy that’s out for his blood. This guy isn’t Robin Hood, he makes Robin Hood look like a -CHUMP-.

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I was gunna put this in the tags but it’s a lot. When i first started going through the process of getting a diagnosis, i was labelled with ODD. I immediately took issue with this, it seemed like an unfair diagnosis based entirely on the session the psychiatrist had with my parents (which mostly consisted of “my child is being really difficult on purpose”), and Hoo Boy when i tell you ODD immediately strips you of your ability to call out anyone on anything, that would be an understatement. I couldn’t even disagree or bring up my concerns about the validity of MY OWN DIAGNOSIS without it being labelled as oppositional defiance. Whenever i displayed any negative emotion the “treatments” did so much more harm than good. When you label someone as ‘defiant’ (ugh), when that word is put on their medical record, that person is never allowed to complain about anything again. Knowing that POC are disproportionately affected with this diagnosis makes me feel sick, i can only imagine what’s being swept under the rug as someone just being “defiant to authority”, not even just in the medical field but as justification for police brutality and mass incarceration. When i say medical racism kills people, this is what i mean.

this is so fucking important. reblog.

“Authors should not be ALLOWED to write about–” you are an anti-intellectual and functionally a conservative

“This book should be taken off of shelves for featuring–” you are an anti-intellectual and functionally a conservative

“Schools shouldn’t teach this book in class because–” you are an anti-intellectual and functionally a conservative

“Nobody actually likes or wants to read classics because they’re–” you are an anti-intellectual and an idiot

“I only read YA fantasy books because every classic novel or work of literary fiction is problematic and features–” you are an anti-intellectual and you are robbing yourself of the full richness of the human experience.

"you are functionally a conservative" is such a good and clarifying insult

Literally right after I saw this post, I saw another post in a discord chat for BOOK EDITORS in which an outspokenly liberal editor talked about how Nabokov should have never been published because he wrote about p*dophiles and described women's bodies in ways that made her uncomfortable. She described his writing as "objectively terrible" and said she wanted to burn his books. And other editors were bringing up classics they didn't like and talking about how they wanted to throw them in the trash. This wasn't like a light "unpopular opinion!" conversation. This was actual book editors talking about how books should be destroyed and censored.

There is something so scary and toxic in global culture right now. The revival of fascism is influencing everyone's mindset and approach to art, regardless of where they fall on the political spectrum.

I see far more books being censored today than when I was a kid. Librarians handed me The Catcher in the Rye, The Sexual Politics of Meat, and Animal Farm when I was literally 8-11. My mom would never have taken a book away from me. I read everything from the Tao Te Ching to the Qur'an to atheist texts under my desk at school. Teachers thought nothing of it or encouraged it. Books seemed universally acknowledged as sacrosanct to me.

Now I can't find any adults who don't hesitate or want to make exceptions when it comes to censorship. Even the most liberal social activist librarians I know go, "well except for book X..."

Functionally conservative. It's so important to have the language to express that.

Thank you for this addition!

And, following up on the previous post …

“This makes me uncomfortable” is NOT a valid reason for censorship

These fucking book editors should remove themselves from the profession ASAP 😡

Honestly my best advice for any trans woman coming here from Twitter is to obviously install shinigami eyes so that you can tell who's a crypto terf or whatever. But also to genuinely just search terf and radfem keywords and just go down the list and block like 300 people.

And then to take that a step further (because no amount of blocking is enough unfortunately) when they start interacting with your content, don't just block that person, take the time to go through their blog and block who they reblog from. Then if you notice one name popping up in the notes more than usual, go to that person's blog and do the same thing.

Deny then access. Don't prune the weeds, scorch the earth.

Boosting this for all the new reddit girlies

Also? We watch out for each other here. My moots (and even a few of my random followers) will let me know if I’ve missed a name because Shinigami Eyes doesn’t work on mobile. It is ALWAYS okay to tell someone you follow “heyo this post turned up red.” 99.9% of the time you’re going to get some variation on a curse word followed by them deleting the post and thanking you, and the remaining .01% of the time you’ve found a new name for your block list.

I NEED YOUR HELP TO SPREAD THIS

This blog in the photo accompaninstuo91 does not have a proper blog. When you click on their blog, an image pops up asking you if you're 18 and if you say yes or no, it directs you to a virus/porn site that isnt on tumblr

The bots are evolving to actively redirect you/ give viruses to you

Please reblog this so you dont fall victim. Do not click follow or try to go onto their blog, instead the only way to report them is to click the little three dots and click report

@staff please stop shit like this

I need UK journalists to not show 43 degrees is not beach weather like people are gonna die

Americans do not interact

Im Australian, and 43C is NOT beach weather. That is VERY hot, even for us, but for the UK its apocalyptic. At 43C you should not even be going outside if you can help it, treating it like beach weather is a one way ticket to heatstroke.

I agree with not going outside for long periods of time but you will have to plan something to reduce the heat within your households. Especially if your house is designed to retain heat

Fans pointed at open windows will pull out hot air and allow it to circulate - don't put them IN the window, leave some room by the side for extra air to get drawn in.

If you can't afford cold packs (and if you can, stock up on some NOW), get some ziplock bags and freeze them, with wet washcloths or ripped up towel inside. You want them to be ready in the freezer when you need them. Wrap them in a tea towel and put them on your wrists and ankles.

A big bowl of ice water in front of a fan will blow cold air into the room and make a massive difference. Again, if you don't have ice cube trays get some and freeze them *now*, don't wait until you're already in trouble (although I am melting at quarter past nine but my thermoregulation is bollocks so I don't know if that's the heat or just the me). If you can't afford to get any, clean out empty yoghurt pots or Tupperware or whatever you have that can hold water. Even if you end up with a giant ice cube from a lunchbox, it'll help.

Even just opening two windows at a crack will allow some air circulation - I sometimes prop open my bedroom door and leave the bathroom door open, both windows are locked at a crack because of the cats but it creates a nice little line of wind along the landing.

If you're someone who needs something on them to sleep, take your duvet out of the cover and just use the cover.

Remember that water acts as a lens - you do NOT want to wear a wet t shirt in the burning sun. I did this when I was 8 and if I tan on my back you can still see the scars.

Read the instructions for sunscreen carefully, and use the highest spf you can find. Reapply as per the instructions. If you get burned, Malibu do an amazing aloe-based spray on after sun, I got mine from Savers for 3 quid and it lasts ages. I keep it and any other after sun in the fridge, which means it's incredibly lovely to put on. Aloe is magic for burns so definitely gravitate towards that if you can. My son got badly burned (he's ginger, he went to an outdoor pool and they forgot to give him sunscreen) and he's had 2 helpings of it and you wouldn't believe how much better he is (he couldn't even really wear a shirt).

Make sure your pets have plenty of fresh cold water to drink, and if they usually have dry food consider giving them some wet food for one of their meals (cats are notoriously not always great drinkers but wet food will get them some liquid). Keep the curtains and/or blinds closed in south-facing rooms. I have blackout curtains in the front room and the front bedroom (my son's) and they make a MASSIVE difference to the heat. Make sure pets have access to these cooler spaces if you can create them.

Keep oven/hob use to a minimum if you can. I like making a massive pot of something that can be reheated in the microwave if necessary - the oven especially adds a lot of heat. Or get some wraps and ham and cheese and eat those.

Cordial or fruit juice can be better than water if you're sweating a lot. Cordial is cheap as chips. Salty snacks are also good.

Go to Iceland and buy a billion lolly ices. It's especially a good way to make sure kids stay hydrated.

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I realize op asked for Americans not to interact, and whether or not they're being cheeky, I feel obligated to reblog this to save lives.

That temperature is absolutely murder, even moreso with humidity.

Please, be safe and stay hydrated!

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For reference, 43 degrees celsius is roughly equivalent to 109.4 degrees fahrenheit. That’s bad.

This is nearly DOUBLE the typical average temperature of the UK. I don't care if you grew up in Satan's asshole, if you woke up one day and it was twice as hot as it usually is, you're gonna have a bad fucking time. The infrastructure is not built for 40+ degrees, and with the government doing... The thing it's doing, I doubt they're gonna even bother to help people, so people need to see things like this post to be able to help each other instead.

Heads up UK folks, we're looking at hitting 40°C again in about two weeks. Now's a great time to prepare however you can, figure out what you can do to make things more bearable

Putting a wet tea towel in the freezer for 20 minutes (in a freezer bag so it didn't stick to anything) then tying it to my wrists/ankles helped a lot last year, so I'll share this post in the run up in case it helps anyone else

Keep an eye out for people struggling, including yourself

For context, 43° C is about 109°F, so uh... yeah that's pretty fuckin bad.

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how did we literally spend the entire month of june, having established clearly, and to such a degree that it's just a common meme, that corporations don't actually care about your LGBT rights, and just slap rainbows on everything to try to trick you into liking them, while they kill you and the earth - to then turn around and go 'actually if you critique the Matell Corporation's new 2 hour long commercial you are directly responsible for the patriarchy. because they coloured it Pink.'

my family fucked up my life by using spoonerisms interchangeably with their true phrase counterparts since before i was born and now i can’t escape from instinctively saying shit like “im gonna shake a tower”

oh “meeking a smee” made me feel like i was being fucking tazed

theres a lot of people on this website who dont realize their dad is a gnome

just learn how to draw fat people. please? it's actually not that hard. the internet is at your fingertips. you can look up refs right now literally right now and start practicing. hell if you're a tablet user trace over photos for a bit. if you're a traditional artist do the lightbox method or print them out and trace over them. get comfortable with it. now have those pics next to you and draw them.

practice drawing ALL body types; fat people, muscular people, old people, disabled people, very young people, people of color.

the world is not exclusively made up of 21 yr old skinny white people. get comfortable drawing diverse bodies.