Esther: What is wrong with you?
Swaine: I have this weird self esteem issue where I hate myself but still think I’m better than anyone else.
Drippy: You might not know this, Ollie-boy, but I'm a flawed fairy.
Oliver: I do know that.
Roland: I only have two emotions: exhaustion and stress. And I’m somehow always feeling both simultaneously.
Drippy: Ollie-boy and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other’s-
Oliver: Sentences.
Drippy: Don’t interrupt me.
Oliver: So how did you get Esther to go along with all of this?
Drippy: I told her about everything except the illegal part.
Oliver: Okay. What about Swaine?
Drippy: I told him only about the illegal part.
Oliver: Makes sense.
Swaine: Do the thing
Oliver: Uhm f-fuck
Drippy: you have one minute to run
Drippy: You know, sometimes when I get bored, I break something of Esther’s and tell her Swaine did it.
Oliver: Why would that make you less bored?
Esther, from another room: I’M GOING TO KILL HIM!
Drippy: Great, the show’s about to start.
I cant make ALL the jokes for ya, mun!
Marcassin: This next song is for the love of my life, Cassiopeia.
Marcassin: *starts singing the entire Shrek soundtrack completely seriously*
Cassiopeia: *so emotionally touched she’s almost crying*
Swaine, from a distance: What the fuck
bald swaine
bottom text
…there’s a tad disturbing, eh?
Marcassin: Can we go to a haunted house this year?
Gascon: What’s wrong with the one we live in?
Marcassin: What?
Gascon: Goodnight, Marcassin.
Oliver: Could I get a venti vanilla latte with 13 espresso shots?
Swaine: Or you could do cocaine.
Oliver: We call that a “traumatic event”.
Oliver, turning to Swaine: Not a “bruh moment”.
Oliver, turning to Drippy: Not a “major L”.
Oliver, turning to Esther: And definitely not an “oof lmao”.
swaine’s had ENOUGH of children
Swaine: So what time does the Judgemental Express arrive?
Oliver, sighing: Mr. Drippy gets here at noon.