Reblog or your mom will die in 928 seconds.

I love my mom.

I am risking nothing

I AM SORRY FOLLOWERS, I LOVE MY MOMMY

Will not risk.

sorry followers :(

omg im so glad to se so many people love their mummy

Why’re you being mean to my mum?

goddamn it

Nope. Googled it. 15 minuets. Nope. Not taking any chances

Koop

This has 1.2 million reblogs … Ps not riskin it

1.4 almost ps not risking it

Fuck this post

I am sorry…

sorry

sorry,not sorry

I love my momza  im not taking any chances

sorry

Why does this keep appearing on my damn dashboard!!!

I ignored it and then I felt very, very guilty about it…

i ignored it and then i felt very very guilty about it…

^Haiku^bot^0.4. Sometimes I do stupid things (but I have improved with syllables!). Beep-boop!

That’s the kind of crap I hate Tumblr for. It’s not sarcasm. Whoever started this thread should be - I can’t even come up with a perfect punishment without reblogging it first. I just hope that you suffer a lot. That’s all.

It’s evil because you cannot not reblog out of a messed up paranoia

Okay fuck you whoever did this

Seriously?! Fuck!!

Honestly who even makes these anymore

NO MY MOMMY NO BITCHES

NOT MY MOTHER

MOM PLEAS DON’T BE DED

momm y no

im desi and my mom is sometimes mean but I LOVE YOU MUMMA

also who the hell makes these

not risking it cuz i love her way too much

also, youre (the person who made it) an awful person. badbye

No risks with mumma sorry

my god

not risking it

Not. Risking. It.

Love my momma

Calling a canon bisexual woman a lesbian becuase she has a female love interest or is in a wlw relationship is bisexual erasure and biphobic!!!!

Same thing goes for bisexual men and mlm relationships!!!!!

REBLOG THIS VERSION TOO YOU COWARDS

Same thing for bisexual people in m/f relationships that people call straight.

Sometimes I say self loathing things to my therapist and he looks at me dead in the eyes before saying “You fucking moron.” and tbh same

Me: I think I don’t exist.

Therapist: Listen, you do exist, and if you didn’t, someone would have to create you because the world would be a much sadder place.

Me: Jerome, how dare you saying something so sweet when I’m dissociating.

Me: Honestly, (thing that is totally fucked up for any ‘sane’ person) is normal, right?

Therapist: No.

Me: Wow.

Therapist: You’re just a fucked up bitch.

Me: I do agree with the fucked up bitch part.

Therapist: That’s a start!

Me: I guess he’s still my friend?

Therapist: Considering what you told me and how much you wanna beat him to death, he’s not. You pretty much hate him despite knowing him for years.

Me:

Me: Why did I need to come here to realize that.

Therapist: Because that’s my job to help you to understand some stuff. Also because you’re way too kind and you would let someone punch you in the guts and still consider them as your friend while they stab you.

Me: I don’t need that kind of call out, Jerome.

Me: Hey, I brought you coffee. And croissants too, but I ate them. *puts Starbucks coffee in front of him*

Therapist: Oh that’s nice!!... Oh my name is on it!!

Me: Yeah!!

Therapist: It’s wholesome but... *very confused and silently*... How do I drink it?

Me, not being able to come to my appointment and having to call him: I’m sorry, it’s all my fault, I’m so so so sorr-

Therapist: I dare you to say sorry one more time. I dare you.

Therapist: Hey I wanna show you this super funny image I found the other day.

Me: What-

Therapist: *turns his screen and show me THIS* 

Me: 

Me: Jerome.

Therapist: You went to the gaypride?

Me: Yeah, I went.

Therapist: Was it something you enjoyed?

Me: Mh. Yeah. Sorta.

Therapist: Did you see some bears?

Me:

Me: Jerome wh-

Therapist: That’s the only term I know outside of the LGTB one, I wanted to use it. 

Therapist: Are you sure you’re not becoming roommate with (name) because of pity? Kinda sacrificing yourself?

Me: No, I want it!!

Therapist: Finally, you’re not forcing yourself for the others! And you’re doing something you want! I’m proud of you!

Me: You’re more of a dad than my own father.

Therapist: That’s not very hard.

Me: I always wondered, are you queer?

Therapist: I am not.

Me: Ooh.

Therapist: Or am I?

Me: Ooh!

As an update, Jerome gave my appointment to someone’s else today so we were both in the waiting room, confused and he walked in, patted my head and said sorry but honestly it was hilarious.

The secretary came to tell me that Jerome actually forgot to write me down on the appointment list.

This is a 100% normal situation with Jerome as my Therapist.

As an addition, more than half of my friends want Jerome to adopt me and refer to him as “Therapist dad”.

He’s aware of it and think it’s hilarious.

Me, after complaining for the 25 times about my birth father: Idk if you noticed, but I’m full of anger against him.

Therapist: Oh, really, I never noticed. You know, you should turn that anger into indifference. It would help you.

Me: Unholy gods, I wish it was me.

Therapist: You know, people will still love you even if you don’t offer them things all the time. You don’t have to do that.

Me: What??

Therapist: Why don’t you send a mail to your psychiatrist when you have a bad mood swing?

Me: Like what? ‘Hey Joël wassup, I’ve been very suicidal lately last night I wanted to die. Hope you have rad vacations and the weed is good save some good kush for me, kissy kissy.’ ?

Therapist: Exactly.

Me: You’re as bad as me with human interactions Jerome, y’know.

Me, heavily dissociating: I don’t exist-

Therapist: Can I touch you to prove you that you do?

Me: Dinner first.

Therapist:

Therapist: Damien, you moron.

Therapist: You need vacations.

Me: I’m broke.

Therapist: Oh yeah.

Therapist: You still need vacations tho.

Me: Jerome, I am still broke.

Me, by text: Hey, you just walk by me!

Therapist, by text: Oh sorry. I didn’t see you.

Therapist, by text: Wait. Were you at the tattoo shop?

Me, by text, totally at the tattoo shop: You have no proof.

For a bit of context here: Around two months ago I went to a friend’s who happened the live on the same street as Jerome, which I didn’t know. He was really surprised to see me and came to check on me, asking me why I was here with a bit of concern on his voice. And this take place earlier this month:

Therapist: So your friend lives in the same street than I?

Me: Yes. Town’s short I guess.

Therapist: Were you really going to your friend...?

Me: Yes?? Why else would I be here?

Therapist: A lot of drug deals happen in this street and I see often teenagers and young adults coming and buy stuffs. I was a bit worried for you.

Me, at 2pm: I’m sorry I’m going to be late!

Therapist: Your appointment was this morning at 11:30am, Damien.

Me:

Me: What.

Jerome is still not aware of his fame and idk how to announce him.

Therapist; What’s up with you and wanting domestic rats.

Me: I’m gonna get a rat and call him Jerome just to piss you off.

Therapist:

Therapist: How dare you.

Therapist: Weed doesn’t do much on me and I must admit I’m kinda disappointed.

Me:

Therapist: Do you smoke?

Me: Jerome.

On hard days I wonder how Jerome is doing

He’s doing fine, last time he shown me his fav pic of a red panda which is this one

I FOUND IT I FOUND IT I FUCKING FOUND IT AAAAAAAH YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY THIS MADE ME FEEL

It’s really amazing how happy people get when they find this post omg

Always reblog Jerome.

Is he now aware of his fame?

After months, he is, and he just told me “Haha, this is funny. I’m happy it’s helping people!”

I think he doesn’t realize that he’s known *worldwide*

I need a Jerome in my life

Honestly, Mitch's new hairstyle was probably the best decision they made for season 2

THANK YOU

im playing the world’s smallest violin for him right now.

i need some victory today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Some days you just need a velociraptor on your side.

“It might be nice, it might be nice,

To have a velociraptor on your side”

Are fedoras really that bad?

YES YES THEY ARE

voidethered:

wait, does that mean?

oh boy…….

Luckily, this nonsense doesn’t work on girls.

Observe…

IT’S GOTTEN BETTER!

This post is immaculate

It can’t be true.

And it can’t possibly work on motorcycle helmets.

I must test it.

Nothing happening so far…

HOLY SHIT IT WORKS

What in the world?

Oh why not? This should be interesting.

Here we go!

Were all mad here in Underland!

What the hell! Never Again!

… Actually …

One more time.

Alright, I gotta try this!

Can’t be that bad!

….

…oh my god…

ask-gmodsfmrocks:

This just gets better and better

This is one of my favourite things to look at

holy shit this stuff is back

The Gravity Falls one though

i wonder if it works for flower crowns?

here goes nothin-

w HAT THE

DID I JUST-

WHAT THE FUCK

Okay Clearly something is up.

Hmm… I wonder

I’m sure nothing could possibly…

HOLY SHIT

IT GOT BETTER

I HAVE BEEN SEARCHING SO LONG FOR THIS POST OH MY GOD!!!

I wonder what happens when you wear 8 of these at once…

Never not reblog

IT’S ON MY DASH. ACTUALLY ON MY DASH.

Oh my God, there are so many new ones

Friggin, yis

Always reblog.

IT HAS EVOLVED

The legend marches on…

BEWARE THE MAGIC OF HATS

JDNXHSBSBF

I T ‘ S  B A C K 

a classic meme from when the world was less of a tire fire

ITS ON MY BLOG YESSSS

THIS IS WONDERFUL.

time to bring back outdated memes…

what could possibly go wrong?

eww, it smells like fuckboi

welp, down this rabbit hole we go…

nothing’s happeni-

WTF-

Oh boy, this meme

I wonder if this would work with a wolf hat.

May as well try it.

Please don’t be awful, please don’t be awful, please don’t b-

get wet 4 furry

This is obviously fake

Look, I’ll prove it

Y’all are just acting

Watch and learn

WTFFFFFF

Should…… should I…….

DO IT!

Whelp guess I gotta put on the hat now

Can’t be that bad, I mean what’s the worst a squid hat can do to m-

I̖̝̪̤̠̋͞ ̛̹̱̮̳̭̓̂͑ͫ͐̎ͯ͗͝͡H͇̠͊́̚A̛̓̓҉͙̠V͍̌̏͂ͣͨͭͧ̉́E̸͙̭̣͓̓ͨͥ̿ ̽͗͗ͮ͊ͬͩͥ̚҉̪̗̝̘̟́̕A̴̴̙̝̬̪̞͂ͤͩ̍W͚̣͆ͬỎ̫̝̟͖̝͇ͥ͛ͮ͋K̨̖͓͉̺̫͉̀͗ͪ̊͌̉E͚̲̩̪̘̠͋̈͞N͉͓͕̗̱͒̔ͨͤ͛̓̂ͧ

Holy shit this is getting so freaking better than I thought XD

CASH MONEY

THE FLOWER CROWN

I FINALLY FOUND IT I CANT BREATHE

IVE ONLY SEEN THIS POST IN SCREENSHOTs!

QUICK REBLOG IT BEFORE IT GETS LOST AGAIN

NEED TO REBLOG

You know… everyone’s doing this with hats

I wonder…

Here goes nothing…

What the hell?!

…

Let’s try that again…

What. The Actual. Fuck.

H oly shit it’s back

OH MY GOD THERE’S A THOMAS SANDERS REFERENCE IN THIS POST NOW??? I’M JSKHGBNBDUIWHJHJKLDH

THIS GETS BETTER EVERY TIME I SEE IT I SWEAR TO GOD

I LOVE THIS! XD

🤣🤣🤣🤣 It’s back baby!!!

A true classsic!

o h my go d 

@ravenclawangst

Haha…I remember mine…i cant find it…

AHHHHHHHHH ITS BETTER

This can’t possibly work on plushies!

Can it?

Hmm…

oH HECK-

This was a mistake…

Well.. it’s just a brown skirt, won’t do anything right?

It’s really nice and swishy.. don’t really feel anything..

Me and the party are meeting at the ren fair! Gotta go, you guys! Tell me what you think of my elf character cosplay!! Dm out!

THE RELIC IS B A C K!!

Hmmmm…

I wonder if it works with cloaks?

Nothing happened…

Wait! I have an idea!

__________________________________

OH SHIT

I’ve only seen this is google images and I wonder if it actually works…

I mean, I saw someone with a Sanders Sides reference…

So why not try my sunglasses!

Here we go…

IT ENDS WITH A GOOD OMENS REFERENCE NOW. YES.

END ALL JOKES. END ALL MEMES. END ALL ENTERTAINMENT. NOTHING WILL TOP THIS. 

SANDERS SIDES GOOD OMENS AND A SHIT TON MORE?????

ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE IVE SEEN THIS POST ITS LITERALLY THE BEST THING ON THIS EARTH

It wouldn’t… not hoodies. It’s only hats and glasses, right? I can’t go through that again…

I’ll be fine… I’m sure I will….

I am!!! I knew it wouldn’t wo-

nOPE! TOO MUCH ANGST AND ANXIETY!!!!

My unsuspecting followers:

Me: LOOK AT THIS

BEAUTIFUL

Praying that $1500 randomly comes to you when you need it the most this year.

Rebloging because, no shit, I just recieved a scholarship for $1500…

Ayyyyyy I’m here for it

Please, so I can have money for the doctor and kinesiology

I hope you get more than that.

that $1,500 would help my situation immensely right now.

Please please please! ✨

I only want it to pay for state and nationals so my parents don’t have to.

me when i get my student loan

this is the money cat. reblog in 30 seconds and you will find yourself with more wealth

#this is the only money cat i will reblog because it’s actually doing the manekineko pose151,646 notes (via lolwhutninja)

OMG YOU’RE RIGHT

and it has its right paw up! the correct paw for this. and from the markings on its ears, it looks like it might be a calico cat. which is the luckiest kind!

extremely lucky cat

I don’t even care if it actually works, I’m mostly reblogging because it’s freaking adorable.

cute cat and need money, good post, 10/10

in case anyones interested in the other versions

http://www.namaii.com/manekineko/maneki-neko-types.html

Y’know I reblogged this a bit ago and was saved from financial probation and getting kicked out of school because of it, just mere months from graduation. Got a call from the financial aid advisor telling me that they made a mistake with filing my account (or some other sort of clerical error) and said that, basically, they owe me money. Welp.

Last time I reblogged the money cat, I won two $100 gift cards at work.

To adorable not to reblog

but then again, its kind like putting a meat suit on and telling a shark not to eat you

We (men) are not fucking sharks!

We are not rabid animals living off of pure instinct

We are capable of rational thinking and understanding. 

Just because someone is cooking food doesn’t mean you’re entitled to eat it. 

Just because a banker is counting money doesn’t mean you’re being given free money.

Just because a person is naked doesn’t mean you’re entitled to fuck them. 

You are not entitled to someone else’s body just because it’s exposed. 

What is so fucking difficult about this concept?

How can you not reblog something like this

Boom

As a man I’m real fucking tired of the idea that I have no impulse control. We all have it, some of you jackasses just think you’re above it.

THANK FUCK THERE ARE DECENT FUCKING GUYS OUT THERE

you can tell a lot about someone based on their phone background. it shows what’s most important to them

Reblog this and put what your phone background in the tags

I hate how many people believe and act like all families are equal. That all mothers, fathers, cousins, aunts, uncles and siblings are good for you or should be tolerated just because of their association with you. Family will sometimes hurt you deeper than a complete stranger. Everyone’s family is not yours. Stop judging folks for cutting toxic ppl off who happen to be family.

F U C K I N G P R E A C H ! ! ! ! !

parents who tell their daughters they are ugly are bad parents

everyone who is replying to this with some variety of “that’s just how life is”

no

your parents fucked up and should not have treated you that way

they were wrong and you should say it

This includes implied ugliness.

May I add:

you have been visited by the seven magic dragon balls your biggest wish will be granted but only if you reblog

Couldn’t risk it.

didn’t realize they change colors. now I know o gotta wish.

THIS SHIT IS REAL I GOT THE JOB I WAS NUTS ABOUT BC I REBLOGGED THIS YESTERDAY maybe it’s a coinkidink but it okay just take the necessary steps to achieve what you’re wishing for and YOU CAN DO IT