just another human

I feel like so many countries participating in Eurovision this year understood the assignment. A random-ass song about Edgar Allan Poe? Men in drag singing about buying a tractor as a veiled parody of Putin and Lukashenko? The obligatory girl power ballad/Loki cosplay from Norway? Slovenia and Moldova singing in their native language? France channeling Edith Piaf but, like, combined with EDM? Whatever the hell Belgium has going on? 

Like, okay, no pianos were set on fire but we’ve had some pretty great acts

TIL that NASA has been launching jellyfish into space since the 90’s. Originally 2,478 were sent up and there were 60,000 orbiting Earth by the mission’s end 20 years later. The jellyfish that have returned reportedly ‘hate life on Earth.’

via reddit.com

Go you want to birth an Eldridge horror? This is how you birth an Eldridge horror

I want to know how they decided that they hate life on earth

I mean, who doesn’t

The “jellyfish that have returned” are the offspring of the ones sent up; they “hate life on Earth” because they were born into a world without gravity - no direction, different kinds of pressure, so when they return they have trouble adapting and (according to the Read More in the source) “Jellyfish babies, at least, have to deal with massive vertigo on Earth after spending their first few days in space,” which you can tell because you can measure how disoriented a jellyfish is compared with norma behavior. TL;DR your cthulu is an infant with a migraine

I have SO MANY questions, re:the jellyfish space habitat.

I mean I guess it’s probably just an airtight aquarium on board the ISS, but I read it the first several times as the jellyfish were just floating in open space.

tbh when I read “NASA has been launching jellyfish into space for years” my initial mental image was just NASA with a giant slingshot flinging jellyfish after jellyfish into the void 

what do you mean we have to wait ANOTHER FUCKING YEAR????

Liebe dieses Team:

Pia "Sleep is for the Weak" Heinrich

Adam "Bauch Beine Po hahaha" Schürk

Leo "Done with his shit" Hölzer

Esther "Da halt ich mich raus" Baumann

every time i get a new follower who isn’t a porn bot:

One time this man approached me in a bar talking in Spanish. So I assumed he was Spanish and we started speaking, we had a whole ass conversation and at some point he was like. So what part of Spain are you from? And I said well I’m Italian actually. What part of Spain are you from? And he was like. I’m Greek.

One time I was in Argentina and I was so tired of trying to speak Spanish because I’m not very good at it lmao so I broke into exasperated English and the retail seller girl quickly understood me and engaged me in conversation. We talked for a while, she introduced me to a makeup brand, and then I decided to buy it. While she was packaging the purchase, she asked me if I were from the US or perhaps the UK and I just said “oh no I’m Brazilian hahah” and she looked me straight in the eyes and said, in clear Portuguese, “I’m Brazilian too”

When my dad went to China on a work trip, his Mandarin speaking wasn’t great but his listening was fine (his first language is Cantonese) and he encountered a German guy who had moved to China to work. My dad knew how to speak German because he studied it in university (but wasn’t great when it came to listening to new vocab he hadn’t studied before), and the German guy knew Mandarin because he lived and worked in China, so they had a conversation where my dad spoke to the German guy in German and the guy responded in Mandarin. I’m sure it confused a lot of their coworkers who just saw the Asian guy speaking German and the white guy speaking Mandarin.

Some years ago, I worked for a manufacturing company that had a service depot in China.  One of the engineers from the main office here in the US spent most of his time at the depot.  The problem was that he didn’t speak *any* of the various Chinese languages, and no one at the depot spoke any English. They all, however, spoke Spanish.

I love the world

When I was in Amsterdam with a few people from my school, we got told that the lockers were full at the train station, and we had to go to a smaller luggage office next to a church nearby.

When we got there our teacher started talking to the man behind the counter in english, then she turned back to us and said something in hungarian, only for the man behind the counter to immediately switch and say “Oh hi i am also hungarian!”

Some goon : This word is made up.

Me, an intellectual : As all words are.

lucas gregorowicz's subtle "what adam & vincent could've been if ARD's concept hadn't fucked it up" posts are the most painful part of this entire evening

there is something so darkly comical about tumblr potentially outliving twitter

tumblr, which is held together with duct tape and madness, run by three raccoons in blood stained Yahoo! hats and a handful of crabs, it's only source of income the sale of shoelaces from an inside joke so inside no one knows the original source anymore and fake blue checkmarks... that website still lives on

truly the cockroach of social media and I love it for that

was reading an article from back in 2013 when some ancient roman artifacts were unearthed by moles digging tunnels and this image description is making me lose my goddamn mind

Just wanted to draw ghost Ahsoka @osfi-am

Happy Halloween :)

Scientists have discovered how to make glow-in-the-dark cats by inserting the jellyfish genes that create fluorescent proteins into feline eggs.

I needed to check that this was real, and apparently, it is. What’s more, the end goal in these experiments was to fight feline AIDS, creating glow-in-the-dark cats was a side effect. That might be the greatest sentence I write this year.

Ok, so the short version is that scientists want to insert a Useful Gene. But they have no way of knowing if the Useful Gene actually got incorporated into the cat’s (or other animal’s) DNA. So they glue the Glow Gene to the Useful Gene. If the animal glows, both genes got inserted successfully.

Yes! Pretty much every glow in the dark science animal is that way because of the above! A lot of people don’t get that, and think scientists are just screwing around and doing slightly irresponsible things with animal DNA just cuz they can. That’s not the case at all

Wut

(Cat is @/pixelandsophie on IG)

This comment in the replies has me in absolute hysterics

It's so specific!!

that moment when you reblog something from a blog and after a few seconds that blog reblogs something that you have posted and you just feel like

Liebs, wie Andreas Fröhlich im Bobcast über ~den Kuss~ beim seltsamen Wecker live spricht.

academic self-regulation explained

someone invents a recipe > their child loves it > they grow up and replicate it for their own child > their child loves it > they grow up and replicate it for their own child > their child loves it > they grow up and replicate it for their own child > their child loves it > (this continues indefinitely)

The funny thing is as a parent you always think, “mine isn’t as good as Nana made it.” But your kid adores it and one day will say “it isn’t as good as my mama made it but the kids like it.”

and on it goes

and so love is passed down the chain of generations, on and on, from mouth to mouth to heart to heart

Every time I think about, “Did you ever hear the tragedy of Darth Plagueis The Wise? I thought not. It’s not a story the Jedi would tell you. It’s a Sith legend.” I start laughing because IT HAPPENED LIKE TWELVE YEARS AGO and THE ONLY PEOPLE THERE WERE SIDIOUS AND PLAGUEIS like there’s no way for the Jedi to even know this story existed, it’s not a millennia old tale, it was INCREDIBLY RECENT and they were Sith Lords IN HIDING, yet Palpatine just says that entire story with his whole chest like Anakin’s never going to go go the Jedi and say, “Hey, what’s up with never telling me about that Sith Legend Darth Plagueis?” so the Jedi can go “who the fuck is Darth Plagueis????” and Palpatine is RIGHT, Anakin’s brain is just like a hamster on a squeaky wheel, “oh okay I don’t know enough to tell if that’s true or not but I’m just gonna believe it”.  ABOUT A STORY THAT HAPPENED A DECADE AGO, NOT SOME ANCIENT HISTORY.  The absolute gall of Sheev Palpatine, there will never be another villain like him, he’s the bestworst.

#the funniest part about it for me is that it’s probably not even that uncommon of a story with the Sith#say Anakin did go demand the Jedi tell him about this#they’d tell him they’ve never heard of a Plagueis but sure lots of Sith were convinced they’d found the secrets of immortality#never worked out for them#and getting murdered in their sleep by their apprentice? a dime a dozen with the Sith#“the chancellor is probably just conflating various stories about historical Sith…wait why was he talking about Sith legends anyway?” (via @jedi-order-apologist) I am crying at the idea that Jocasta Nu, after being asked by a manic Anakin Skywalker about the Darth Plagueis legend, says she doesn’t know anything about that name, but she does have a dozen other stories about various elements that sound halfway familiar, so perhaps this is an amalgamation of various other stories, and she dumps like TWENTY VOLUMES of encyclopedias about the Sith in Anakin’s lap and says, okay, everything you need to know is in these books.  And Anakin is saved from diving face first into the dark side through the power of him falling asleep in the third volume in the middle of the Jedi Archives because a) he hasn’t slept in a week and b) they’re not nearly as exciting as he thought they’d be.  Jocasta just drapes a cloak over his shoulders and leaves him be with a soft pat to his back, he looks like he needed the rest.

#the idea of jocasta being like ‘hmm yes im afraid the chancellor only has a layman’s understanding of sith legends’ is soooo funny (via @gil-estel) Jocasta’s reaction to hearing about Sheev’s story being, “Those citations sound like complete shit.” is absolutely sending me.  If you can’t properly cite your sources, Jocasta Nu isn’t buying your bullshit, Sidious.

This is reminder to check up on your own mental health.

OK thanks

The laugh that just erupted from me was ungodly.