why the fuck is it called the xbox 360 what does 360 mean???????????????????

when u see it u turn 360 degrees and walk away

turning 360 degrees would face you right back to the xbox you dipshit

this post somehow still in circulation despite everyone involved being deactivated

You must be new here

nightcore has been invented for the sixth or seventh time

Guys, we've talked about this.

You need to give your domesticated wading ghosts larger death pools. I understand if you can't find a real Well, but you need an enclosure at least 5 times the size of the spirit itself.

Thank you for the PSA, and it’s certainly good advice! I am happy to report that in this particular photoset we’re looking at a temporary holding tank, possibly being used to keep a lab employee safe during a routine water test. There is a strict no-shared-space policy for outside contractors at reputable spirit preserves, both to keep the ghost from becoming frustrated at its inability to approach what it perceives as prey, and to ensure the safety of outside parties. Training sessions focusing heavily on positive reinforcement are used to get the ghost accustomed to the holding tank as well as short trips between the pond and an appropriate secured location. Many health checks and enrichment activities can be conducted directly at the water source, but sometimes a more controlled environment is required. Please be assured that the ghost in the photographs is doing ‘well’. ☆⌒( ＾ ▽ ゜)

Nurse: "Your sturgeon will be in shortly"

Patient: "You mean my surgeon?"

Nurse: "No."

*an 800 pound fish flops into the room, thrashing violently on the linoleum and knocking medical equipment to the floor*

Item: Extremely Large Accordion. Note that it is not simply a standard accordion made large, but actually extends the keyboard to longer than even a standard piano.

“our teeth and ambitions are bared” is a zeugma

and it’s a zeugma where one of the words is literal and one is metaphorical which is the BEST KIND

I didn’t know about zeugmas until just now! That is so awesome, everybody: 

zeug·ma ˈzo͞oɡmə/

noun

ISN’T THAT AWESOME??

#in english class in high school my teacher had us write our own zeugmas in class#and one guy came up with ‘he fell from her favor… and the window’#i am forever looking for opportunities to use that one

She dropped her dress and inhibitions at the door.

What’s this? My favorite rhetorical device showing up on my dashboard?

IT HAS A NAMEEEE!! OH MY GOD!!!

I LOVE THIIIIIS!!!

One I’ve loved was “on their weekend trip they caught three fish and a cold”

I love these they’re like a pun and a metaphor wrapped up into one neat phrase

bro this rends flesh (new way of saying something is really good)

My dentist never gives me feetie warmers.

You’re probably not likely to claw the dentist’s face off.

You don’t know that

hey guess what. its the wee hours of morning which means time for another sicko drop feat. tbh creacher

first edition sickos

also fyi feel free to tag characters / redraw / edit / whatev for personal use as long as ur cool abt it + keep the credit !!

public service announcement

I keep getting people asking about bowling on this post so I’m just gonna repost this drawing I made on Twitter

How did her grandmother fill 4 vases?

She was a very large woman. Easily 12 feet tall.

then why the heck is her family not tall too?!?!

Pop-pop was very small so it canceled out.

This was originally part of its own post, but I figured I should add it here so all the Bawling/Balling/Bowling family lore can be in one place, sorry if you’ve seen it before.

So 12-foot-tall Grandma was actually a star basketball player back in the 70s for a very brief period of time– her career as a professional athlete only lasted between October and December of 1972.

The reason for this was because John Basketball, the inventor of the sport, realized that the WNBA had not yet been established, so he asked her to please sit out until the Basketball Elders got a chance to make a space in the sport for women. Grandma thought this was pretty bullshit, but she decided to leave the NBA anyway because nobody could keep up with her balling, and the sport had lost its novelty.

After she settled down in her new-but-less-exciting career as an astronaut, she met Pop-pop on the moon. It turns out that he had been a big fan of her and had recorded all her matches on U-matic, and had fallen in love with the sport.

Anyway things happened, the two fell in love and got married, and Grandma and Pop-pop had a beautiful family together. She became especially close with one of her granddaughters, Ballin’ Jessie, who inherited her propensity for basketball. The two would often dunk hoops with each other, and developed trash-talk as their love language.

Pop-pop also had an interest in the sport, but his height had made it difficult for him to keep up with the others. In fact, he had actually lost about a foot in height as a result of being compressed by Earth’s stronger gravitational pull. Despite this, Pop-pop was never really bothered by this because of his exceptional love for Grandma, who was always more than happy to lend him a helping hand. 

been going insane over Bruce in his eating dome for 24 hrs now

There is so much story telling here. A person got this pacific parrotlet named it Bruce which in and of itself is amazing but then this person went here my little bird friend a raspbebe for you to enjoy and Bruce said hell yeah and went cataclysmicly and irreversible ape shit ham on that berry. And that probably happened more than once. So instead of never again allowing this little dinosaur the joy of the succulent flesh of the delectable raspberry they went what can we do for our little baby boy. and then boom they got some kind of cake cover type deal and cut a door into it so that Bruce would Not Be Trapped in a fruit prison (altho truely it is the berries who are trapped in there with Bruce but none the less) and so he may go to his pent house and freak it as crazily as his little bird heart desires.

Anyway i love pets they are each distinct little guys who are carred for by the funniest ape to ever exist bc we love animal so much

I'm in this group and Bruce's human posts eating dome updates when he's done a particularly good job!

And also when he gets up to other mischief

However, THIS is my favorite Bruce photo

My anthropologist partner dislikes the 1.20 update because it refers to pieces of pottery as "shards" rather than the correct term, "sherds"

I like how there’s just this small group of people being a “little” upset about the shard and sherd thing. I’m reblogging every single one of them

Fyi if you don’t already know, shard is broken pieces of glass and sherd is broken pieces of ceramic

Good News

Anthropology win.

Also i dont know if you guys have ever seen medieval beekeeper garb, but:

Its the best!!!

Nope!

Woodcut from 1545! 😊 respect our basket faced cousins 😡

The Beekeepers, Pieter Bruegel the Elder, 1568

Now that plague doctors are cultural icons I want these to be next and I hope we arbitrarily decide that the two are somehow rivals.

why would they be rivals, they're dating and bop their masks together to kiss

The birds and the bees

!!!

They’re dating  ❤️

joan crawford as hamlet in 1929

oh

I have to add that gender euphoria for cis people doesn't always come from like, conforming to your gender in a "stereotypical" way

I've always been very comfortable with my gender but I didn't Really Like being a woman until I cut my hair short and started dressing/presenting more "masculine."

When i realized that I could look "manly" as a woman I truly felt comfortable and really...more "like" a woman. I enjoy being masculine and it strengthens my connection to womanhood and it's just kinda cool

Ah. It's that time of year again.

(Paprika)

people love extolling the virtues of ball-and-socket joints and how it makes us more advanced and all that but I don't see any fucking octopuses in slings now do I. Bones are overrated and I want a refund.

how dare you lay this curse upon my home

you don't frighten me

Everyone in the notes saying "this is a 10k post to me" "posts that have 100k energy" "posts that are 30k to me" or whatever - alright, fine! Put the fuckin' work in then! You'd better have this queue'd up every day for the next six months! You'd better have all your friends queue'ing it up too!

You want me to suffer?? You want to treat me like my own goddamn bones do??? MAKE AN EFFORT

Pursue space, retreat to a less gravity-dominate environment. Bones will be far less necessary in the grand, abysmal maw of eternity.

What is the sea but a training ground for an infinite pool?