Discovery
time to evil jerk off
COUNTER SPELL
Source: The New York Tattler, July 8, 1909.
me in 1909 showing up to see the bone
Me: "Man what happened to Marina. Her last two albums have been pretty garbage lyrically."
Thomas Aquinas: "God is the source of the light of both natural reason and faith."
Me: "Hey man I'm too horny for this, can you go play blocks for a bit?"
Me: “Hey man I’m too
horny for this, can you go
play blocks for a bit?”
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
how do conservatives think talking to children works? if a four year old came up to me and said “i’m a cat!!” i would say “really? what makes you a cat?” and they’d say some shit like “i have claws >:)” and i’d be like “oh wow, you do have claws. but wait, i thought cats had pointed ears!” and they’d say “they DO!!!” and then i’d pull up a picture of an elf and ask “is THIS a cat?” and they’d yell “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”
u wouldn’t say “fucking hell, Emily, get it together. this is the real world”
imagine going to the UK for a vacation and someone says
"Let's go to Poundtown"
phantasm
Turned to the window to watch the rainbow die and the clouds roll in, not metaphor, completely honest, the bitter brightness of the dinnertime sun dimming
I watch the silent lightning dig itself from the top of the sky to beneath the city horizon, not metaphor, completely honest, the fourteen lanes of freeway with cars rushing down them like salmon no mind to the movement, only thoughtless metal and instinct and thinking that this is all there is
I think I see a white car twist and turn in the road, throw itself off into the embrace of a sedan, not metaphor, completely honest but when I can't look away, there's no white car, no smoking sedan, and even though I know I think it must not have been real my heart refuses to pump the brakes and instead goes faster selfish that my life full of bad waking dreams is far more frightening to me than the horror that didn't exist.
Got curious about if scallops have brains and
Pretty sure this article was written by a scallop 🤔
and if we did?
they did they did they did I meant and if they did
free use gf who gets wet every time she sees u and loves being called a pretty slut
"Isn't it weird that [thing humans commonly eat] is poisonous to literally every domesticated animal" I mean, there's a pretty good chance that [thing humans commonly eat] is at least mildly poisonous to humans, too. One of our quirks as a species is that we think our food is bland if it doesn't have enough poison in it.
I fell down these stairs just looking at this picture
Cursed artifact: Stairs of Discontinuity.
Exposure has a 90% chance of causing a concussion, but a 10% chance of spontaneously increasing your parkour skill
Its butch appreciation day appreciate ur local butch <3
I wasnt kidding btw
THIS POST INCLUDES TRANSFEM BUTCHES AND WAS MADE BY A TRANSMASC BUTCH LESBIAN. TERF LOSERS FUCK OFF
happy butch day you whores