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@miraculousespresso-blog

I’m a feminist, and non binary. Lila and Juleka stan.<3If it hasn’t become obvious yet, I’m incredibly lonely.
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This story was produced by Gizmodo Media Group’s Special Projects Desk.
Leila is a sex worker. She goes to great lengths to keep separate identities for ordinary life and for sex work, to avoid stigma, arrest, professional blowback, or clients who might be stalkers (or worse).
Her “real identity” — the public one, who lives in California, uses an academic email address, and posts about radical politics — joined Facebook in 2011. Her sex-work identity is not on the social network at all; for it, she uses a different email address, a different phone number, and a different name. Yet earlier this year, looking at Facebook’s “People You May Know” recommendations, Leila (a name I’m using using in place of either of the names she uses) was shocked to see some of her regular sex-work clients.
Despite the fact that she’d only given Facebook information from her vanilla identity, the company had somehow discerned her real-world connection to these people — and, even more horrifyingly, her account was potentially being presented to them as a friend suggestion too, outing her regular identity to them.
Because Facebook insists on concealing the methods and data it uses to link one user to another, Leila is not able to find out how the network exposed her or take steps to prevent it from happening again.
“It’s not just sex workers who are careful to shield their identities,” she said to me via Skype. “The people who hire sex workers are also very concerned with anonymity so they’re using alternative emails and alternative names. And sometimes they have phones that they only use for this, for hiring women. You have two ends of people using heightened security, because neither end wants their identity being revealed. And they’re having their real names connected on Facebook.”
When Leila queried secret support groups for sex workers on Facebook, others said it had happened to them too.
"With all the precautions we take and the different phone numbers we use, why the fuck are they showing up? How is this happening?“
“The worst nightmare of sex workers is to have your real name out there, and Facebook connecting people like this is the harbinger of that nightmare,” she said. “With all the precautions we take and the different phone numbers we use, why the fuck are they showing up? How is this happening?”
It’s not a question that Facebook is willing to answer. The company is not forthcoming about how “People You May Know,” known internally as PYMK, makes its recommendations. Most of what Facebook does reveal about the feature is on a help page, which says that the suggestions “come from things like” mutual friends, shared networks or groups, or “contacts you’ve uploaded.”
When the suggestions turn out to be unnerving, that explanation is both vague and woefully incomplete. A Facebook spokesman told me this summer that there are more than 100 signals that go into PYMK. All someone like Leila — who was not connected to her clients by anything like mutual friends, networks, groups, or contacts — can know is that the data that exposed her must be something else, in that large undefined set of factors.
Leila suspects either that Facebook collected contact information from other apps on her phone or that it used location information, noticing that her and her clients’ smartphones were in the same place at the same time.
“We do not use information from third party apps to show friend suggestions in People You May Know,” said a Facebook spokesperson by email. Facebook has said before that it doesn’t use location information for People You May Know, and the spokesperson confirmed that “People You May Know suggestions are not informed by your smartphone’s Location Services.”
So the linkage between Leila and her clients remains a mystery. While the algorithmic black box that is PYMK is simply creepy to most of us, the intrusive network analysis can have serious consequences for people in the sex work and porn industry. One sex toy reviewer devoted a section of her digital security advice to the feature, her cleverest suggestion being to choose a profile photo that doesn’t show your face.
“People think because you have sex on camera, privacy isn’t a big deal for you,” said Mike Stabile, spokesperson for the Free Speech Coalition, a California-based advocacy group for adult performers. “But in this industry, privacy is so important. Performers worry about stalkers on a daily basis.”
Stabile says concerns about People You May Know also go the other way, when people’s accounts for their sex work persona are recommended to people they know in their real, vanilla lives like relatives and friends.
That’s what Ela Darling worries about. Darling, who manages virtual reality adult broadcasting at CAM4, has been working in pornography for eight years, but her family members don’t know that.
"I don’t want my 15-year-old cousin to discover I’m a porn star because my account gets recommended to them on Facebook.“
“I don’t want my 15-year-old cousin to discover I’m a porn star because my account gets recommended to them on Facebook,” Darling told me by phone.
To combat this, she searches Facebook every few weeks for the last names of her family and extended family to see if any of her relatives have joined the network or created a new account. If they have, she blocks them.
Darling used to have a second, private account under her legal name for connecting with people she knew in her normal, vanilla life, but it was getting recommended to her fans, revealing her “real” identity to them. Some of them began harassing her and trying to track down her family.
“We’re living in an age where you can weaponize personal information against people,” Darling said. She’s not sure how Facebook linked her porn identity to her legal identity, but it meant one had to go. She deleted her private account a few years ago, leaving only her public, porn one.
“Facebook isn’t a luxury,” Darling said. “It’s a utility in our lives. For something that big to be so secretive and powerful in how it accumulates your information is unnerving.”
The outing problem is, like Facebook’s ongoing fake-news scandals, a result of the company’s growth-above-all strategy: First round up as many users as possible, then start cleaning up (or not) the side effects of operating at that scale. People You May Know may be incidental to an individual user’s experience, but it extends the reach and density of the network.
“For sex workers, this is a huge threat. This is life or death for us,” Leila said.
An obvious solution, from a user’s point of view, would be for Facebook to fully explain what data it uses to make friend suggestions, and to allow users to filter it or opt out of the People You May Know feature entirely. That way, someone concerned about having their identity exposed — whether a sex worker, a domestic violence victim, or a political activist — wouldn’t have to worry about having their account shown to someone who shouldn’t see it.
“An opt out is not something we think people would find useful.”
“An opt out is not something we think people would find useful,” said the spokesperson. “For example, even for people who have been on Facebook for a long time and already have lots of friends, most of us like to know when someone we know has joined Facebook for the first time.”
According to the Facebook spokesperson, while there is no way to clearly and directly opt out of the People You May Know feature, there’s an undocumented trick that does enable users to stop appearing in it. It just requires them to shut off their ability to receive any friend requests at all.
“People can always control who can send them friend requests by visiting their account settings,” said the spokesperson. “If they select ‘no one,’ they won’t appear in others’ People You May Know.”
This solution, which is not explained in any of Facebook’s many help pages, would allow Leila to protect herself from exposure, although at the expense of one of Facebook’s basic functions. And it wouldn’t work for Darling as her account exists for fans to find and follow. So the need for a PYMK opt-out remains.
“We take privacy seriously and of course want to make sure people have a safe and positive experience on Facebook,” said the Facebook spokesperson. “For people who choose to maintain a separate identity, we’ve put safeguards in place to help them understand their privacy choices, moderate comments, block people, control location sharing, and report abusive content.”
Facebook also says you can just “x” out anyone who appears in “People You May Know” that you don’t want to know, but sometimes just appearing there means the damage is already done.

As a sex worker, I would just like to add:

If your favorite stripper/escort/cam person etc. personal account is recommended to you over facebook, the best thing you can do is NOT add them, and instead just let them know the next time that you interact with them during an appointment/at the club etc. Please don’t add them so you can try to tell them through their personal account-it’s dangerous, and scary. Block us, don’t look at said accounts, and notify us as soon as you can. Most check for that kinda shit regularly, but a heads up is always nice. 

On the reverse, if one of your loved ones sex worker accounts is suggested to you over social media, do not follow it without their permission. Let them know that their account was recommended to you, block them if they ask you too (and/or don’t get offended if they block you), and most importantly do not tell anyone else you/they know. Outting them to other relatives/friends is really dangerous, so please don’t do that. 

Civilians (non-sex workers) please reblog!

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Humans are not attracted to literal genitals. They are attracted to secondary sex characteristics, behaviours, smells, and certain factors about appearance such as visual healthiness and familiarity. Of course there may be exceptions or other things but these are the psychological factors I’m aware of that contribute to attraction.

Considering that of those listed things, the ones that change between males and females change with hormones and have nothing to do with genitals or the sex you were born….

That’s why it’s bad and simply not true to say you could never be attracted to a trans person. Because trans people don’t have any markers that come just from being trans that apply to every single trans person. Many of us could pass as cis under vigorous inspection, for fucks sake. Any passing person you see and experience any sort of attraction to may be trans for all you know.

You may be uncomfortable dating pre-op trans people because of their genitals and that is completely fine! If you’re not interested in someone because of their genitals politely turn them down like you would (or should) anyone else you aren’t interested in. As long as you aren’t transphobic about it (insisting they’re not a real man/woman or calling them a predator for… having a sexuality? Calling lesbians bisexual for dating trans women. That kind of thing) nobody should be bothering you. The issue that comes up with these things is that it tends to stem from transphobia rather than a genuine distaste for certain types of genitals or at least is presented in a transphobic way when it doesn’t have to be. Have preferences all you like. No one cares. Just don’t be a dick.

I don’t understand why any of this is hard.

-Colby

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Good and okay:

- “I am queer” (self-identifying)

- “The queer community” (refers to only the people who identify as queer)

Bad and not okay:

- “You’re so retarded” (using a slur as an insult)

- Describing all bi, lesbian, gay, etc. people as “SGA” (using a conversion therapy term on people without their consent)

- Grouping nonbinary people under the trans label when not all of us use it, doing the same thing with pan people under the bi label, etc.

It’s the difference between a cat exploring a box on its own and a human trying to stuff it into a carrier.

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Some people are so against “pregnant people” because it includes trans men and nb folks that they don’t seem to realize it includes cis women and girls.

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tidefill

‘Pregnant people’ just isn’t necessary. Women have children, men don’t. Trans men don’t, we have dysphoria that would prevent us from willfully carrying a pregnancy.

We are .03% I dougt you’ll have to change your language because of how many cases of pregnant FTMs.

Well, I could listen to you and pretend trans men/boys, cis girls, nb folks, etc. don’t experience pregnancy.

OR I could listen to the many many people in the notes of this very post telling me the opposite.

“Pregnant people” may not be necessary to you, but it is to me.

Hey @swolerbear, did you know you don’t exist?

This always kills me because literally the thing that made me MOST dysphoric during my pregnancy was the constant reminder that I’m supposed to be a woman. Pregnancy sucked very badly, but goddamn, it would have been so much easier if literally almost anybody had used inclusive language (I think I encountered it maybe once during the entire eight months).

Your idea that trans men wouldn’t get pregnant because of our dysphoria is just wrong. That may be true for you, and that’s absolutely valid, but I would go through pregnancy a hundred times for my child. There are so many transmasc folks who are choosing to go through pregnancy more and more every day in spite of the dysphoria.

You would be amazed what us seahorse dads would do for our kids.

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alarajrogers

Plus, no discussion of whether or not the term should be “women” or “people” based on whether or not trans men have kids is dealing with the issue the OP raised, which is that the term being “women” erases girls.

A 12 year old female human who is pregnant is not a woman. She is a girl. “Pregnant woman” does not describe her. “Pregnant person” does. 

So, as the OP said, in their eagerness to erase trans men and nb people who get pregnant, people who are demanding that the term be “women” are erasing a large category of pregnant people who are cis, but too young to be called women. And considering that a very large proportion of those are rape victims, and that the older ones who might have been legally able to consent (and far too many of the younger ones who couldn’t) are treated like absolute shit by society for being younger than we think a mother should be, the idea that anyone who cares about social justice hates trans people enough to erase those girls and deny their struggle is really unpleasant and nasty.

The term should be pregnant people. Women, contrary to the popular opinion of the last 5,000 years, are in fact people. Specifically adult female people. They are not girls, and girls are not women, but both are people… as are the trans men and nb people who choose to carry a pregnancy. “People” is the only term that covers everyone, and even if you are insisting on forcing your belief that afab people are all female on everyone around you, that doesn’t change the fact that afab children are not afab adults and using a term that means “adult female” erases pregnant minors.

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mimiceon

Straight people really will say anything when they assume there’s no gay people around like today a straight girl said “I hate all that gay shit” when I told her I was going to see Love, Simon and another one called her ex boyfriend a “f*ggot” for literally no reason like it’s wild how these are the same people who will absolutely say they support gay people and then mock us when they think they’re behind closed doors

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ladyblargh

Regarding the kwami in the Miraculous Pizzabug and Cola Chat universe

I just wanted to cite my source for what a kwami is

Coke and pizza definitely canonically have miraculouses then

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miracu-less

Welp. Time to give them form.

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‘if you’re a trans guy why are you wearing a bra’ listen my dude, unsure if you know but the day I came out as trans my breasts didn’t immediately retract into my body. they continue to exist. and wearing a binder - no matter how well it fits - for hours on end day in day out becomes unbelievably uncomfortable. wearing a bra as a trans guy doesn’t make you a Bad Trans™. can we stop putting expectations on trans people to perform to the Good Trans Person Standards and being terrible to them when they don’t. other words, can people mind their own fuckin business when it comes to other people’s bodies and what they do with them lmfao

this goes for giving trans women shit for not shaving too. there are a hundred and one reasons why someone may choose not to shave or not be able to. people empower cis women for not shaving (which is perfectly fine and great) and in the same breathe shame a trans woman for not choosing to shave. don’t force a higher standard of presentation onto trans people, especially when those presentations are rooted in stale expectations of gender.

Don’t force a higher standard of presentation onto trans people, especially when those presentations are rooted in stale expectations of gender.

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bloodytales

Dear “pro life” assholes,

So you guys keep appearing in my comments and notes, I thought I would supply some basic information that you seem to be ignoring as you use my pro-choice notes to shame women.

No birth control is 100% effective.

This might surprise you to know that a several women who have take Plan B or have an abortion need it because their primary form of birth control failed. This includes married women with kids who don’t want another kid.

RAPE A THING.

Women impregnated by rape or incest should be able to receive an abortion. Especially since there are states that give rapists the right to shared custody of the child if it is born. This means a rape victim is forced to interact regularly with the man who assaulted her.

Stop Slut-Shaming

Women have sex. Stop slut shaming women. Men are often applauded for sleeping with multiple women, why should women be treated differently.

Birth Control is not always free or easily accessible

Remember the Hobby Lobby Supreme Court decision? You know, the one that allows companies to opt out of paying for insurance that covers a woman’s birth control because of “religious” concerns. There are pharmacists that are allowed to refuse to fill birth control prescriptions because of “religious” concerns. “Pro-life” laws are actively seeking to defund and close Planned Parenthood centers that provide affordable birth control to communities.

Abortion saves women’s lives

My own grandmother’s life was saved through an abortion procedure.

Other women have medical reasons they cannot be pregnant or cannot carry to term. Ectopic pregnancies can kill women if not aborted. Some women can’t stop taking important meds that would poison a fetus.

Ectopic Pregnancies

I’m going to make a whole section just on this, so people understand what they are.

They are rare, but it is when the fertilized egg ends up landing and developing outside the uterus. In the fallopian tubes is the most common. If an ectopic pregnancy is not aborted quickly, the developing fetus can rupture the surrounding organ (that wasn’t designed to expand like the uterus). Ectopic pregnancies can leave a women infertile if not treated quickly, and kill a woman if not treated at all.

Some women don’t want kids

Don’t shame women for not wanting kids. People always say “put the kid up for adoption,” but there are already millions of kids looking to be adopted. The foster care and adoption systems are overloaded as is.

Also, a woman shouldn’t be forced to give birth, something that can still kill women due to complications, if she doesn’t want to.

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What if our imaginary friend was actually you remembering yourself from a past life?!?!

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my cat loves and supports me unconditionally. she doesn’t mind that im queer. she doesnt mind if ur queer either. so if ur ever sad bc of some queerphobic loser, remember that Domino the cat loves u no matter who u love and what ur gender is

she loves and supports u!!! look at how proud she is of u!!

This. Is. Adorable.

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i fuckign lov thay headcanon that chat and lb attract members of the others species

Ladybug, sittig on a roof, with about ten cats mewling for attention, sitting on her and rubbing against her: Chat its happening again

Ladybug looking over, only to find Chat swamped in about 8 million ladybugs: OH GOD CHAT

Chat: its ok :)

Chat: this is the most attention ive had in days

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miracu-less

I couldn’t get it out of my head.

-sobs- chatt

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If Cthulhu can be summoned by humans who are so far beneath it, why can’t humans be summoned by ants? The answer is they should be.

Well if a bunch of ants formed a circle in my house I’d certainly notice, try to figure out where they’d all come from, and possibly wreak destruction there.

That’s why knowing and correctly pronouncing the true name is so important to the ritual. Imagine how impossible it would be to not go take a look if the circle of ants started chanting your name. And they’re like, you can’t leave because we drew a line made of tiny crystals - now you have to do us a favor. And you’re like, let’s just see where this goes “yup, you got me… what’s the favor?” and usually the favor is like, “kill this one ant for us” or “give me a pile of sugar” and you’re like… okay? and you do, because why not, it isn’t hard for you and boy is this going to be a fucking story to tell, these fucking ants chanting your name and wanting a spoonful of sugar or whatever. And SOMEtimes you get asked for things you can’t really do, one of them, she’s like, “I love this ant but she won’t pay any attention to me, make me important to her” and you’re like… um? how? So you just kill every ant in the colony except the two of them, ta-da! problem solved! and the first ant is like *horrified whisper* “what have I done”

for some reason my brain won’t let go of this one, so…. Meanwhile another colony of ants invades your house, and evidently that last ant has gotten some of them to join her in a circle and taught them the ritual because you’re coming out of the bathroom one day and you hear the ants singing your name. Sure enough it’s that ant, but she’s dark and fucked up now, and she’s like, “kill the queen. I will rule this colony” and you’re like, sure, I guess I kinda owe her, and you do it. And she manages to become queen, and they worship you. Which is cool, you’re not, you know, very important in the human world, but to these ants you’re practically all-powerful. You can’t be just, doing everything a bunch of ants tell you to, though, when would you watch netflx? So you tend to only show up for super important ants; you teach them some extra words and when hear them you go see what’s up. Usually. Also just to your name, if you’re bored. And, sometimes some of the ants are like, tell us more human names, and you’re kind of jealous of the idea of some other human diluting your private godhood, so you refuse. Your roommate Greg is like, yo, that’s fucking awesome, I want ant worshipers! But whenever he approaches any, they run away, because it turns out that the illusion of control from the named summoning is what makes them feel safe around you. That’s great, because Greg is a dick who never does the dishes, and one day you decide to teach Greg a lesson. So you show up at the colony, and you’re like, “yo, witch queen, did you think there would be no price for all these things? Your colony must do something for me, go to the Room of the Housemate, I will meet you there.” And you go sit on the couch and play Overwatch for a while. You’re like, right there, you can clearly see the ants all marching along the wall to Greg’s room, but to them you’re not even there, you’re so far away they can’t see you. It takes them, like, an ant week to make the journey. They have to figure out ways to get over and around things. Some of them drown, or get stepped on by the dog, or whatever. You win a game, you lose a game, you look over, and they’re trying to get through some cobwebs… looks like they’re mostly going to live, you keep playing, you look over, okay they’re all in there, and you stand up and walk over and by the time they’ve chanted your name once, you’re there. “right, hold on” and you look around and you see a twelve-pack of Greg’s precious fucking soda, that he keeps in his room and refuses to ever share, even though it’s a communal food household and you share your hot chocolate with him all the time. So you gather the ants unto you, and you poke a little hole in each of the sodas and you leave the room to the sound of the ants rejoicing. Greg will suspect of course, but he’ll never be able to prove the ants didn’t chew holes in the plastic and steal his stupid drinks.  But later, while you’re at work, Greg destroys most of the colony in a rage, and you come home to find the witch queen gasping her last “the Dew of the Mountain, which you had us steal, was cursed - and so I lay my curse on you” and then she dies. Well first of all, you don’t really believe in curses, but last month you didn’t believe ants could know your name, so that’s unsettling. And second of all, you feel kind of bad. You know, not SUPER bad, cause she’s like, an ant. But still. And most importantly, third of all, Greg must pay. But Greg has done more than kill a bunch of the colony. As you wait for eggs and pupae to replenish the ant population, you discover he has found some ants that didn’t go on the Mountain Dew raid, and he’s spared them, told them his name, and made himself a good sized cult in YOUR fucking ant queendom. Greg has started locking his door. So now you NEED the ants. Once again you direct the ants loyal to you to journey to Greg’s room. You meet them at the door. A locked door means nothing to the ants, they don’t even know there is a door, and can barely perceive the difference between it being open and shut - either passing the threshold on the floor regardless, or being on its surface no matter the position. But you need them to get inside. You’re going to put itching powder in his underwear drawer and leave a raw fish under his bed. So you instruct the leading party of ants how to go into the Cave of Keyhole, and position the Magic Megaliths inside just right to enable the opening of the Great Door and allow you to pass into the Realm of Housemate. Crouched by the door, you can hear when your ants are met by a party of Greg Cultists, who insist that if the Great Door is opened, the colony will be doomed. There is fighting. Your ants prevail, the lock tumblers are moved into place, and you swing the door open… To find Greg! In his room all along! It’s a trap! His cultists attack you! I mean, they can’t do much real harm, but it kind of hurts and it’s super annoying. You order your ants to attack him, and they do, but he storms over and pours bleach down the colony entrance. Now you and Greg are at war, and you both understand the unspoken rules to your fight. You can’t do things directly to each other, why, that would be assault. But anything you can get your ants to do is fine, because “she told the ants to do it to me” isn’t going to get very far with any authority figures that get involved.  Later, nursing your anger, you confer with your few remaining ants and stare moodily at your new prize, the ant farm that came in the mail. Bullet ants don’t usually get along with sugar ants, but you’re betting they will if a god tells them to. Meanwhile, you’ve got a laptop schematic to go over with your high priestess. It’s finals week, and if you time it right, he’ll lose everything…

Feel free to add your own stories paralleling human/otherworldly with insect/human interactions! I’m going to have this repost a few times because I want to see which of my mutuals are into this kind of thing because I’m preparing to test drive a fiction share and writing prompt project

The Idea of the old gods obeying us not because of supernatural reason, but because they think it’s funny to watch the tiny animals fight IS the answer to everything

The answer to life, the universe and everything is 42 because that’s how many minutes to kill till dinner is ready

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“My understanding is that I am so odd emotionally and socially that I had better live alone for the rest of my days.”

Kurt Vonnegut, from a letter to Maria Donoso written c. November 1972

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Binding Masterpost

Alright so I’m putting these links down for anyone who’s binding for whatever reasons (cosplay, dysphoria, what have you). I tried my best to format this in an easy to read way, with different sections, but the tips section isn’t organised quite as well as I would have liked. Unfortunately I just don’t have the energy to do something like that. However, I have given a fairly good description of what’s in each link and what the posts look like. If any of these links die in the future please let me know. I used to know where a binding masterpost was but I can no longer find it so I made my own, hopefully it’s of use to others as well.

Binding Tips:

Reputable companies to buy binders from:

Binder reviews:

Companies you should never get binders from:

  • LesLoveBoat
  • Lesbinders
  • Ebay
  • binders that are sold on Amazon (besides Underworks)
  • Wish
  • The Discriminant
  • Ancient Fish King

And, Just a small reminder, never bind with:

  • kt tape
  • TransTape
  • Ace bandages
  • duct tape
  • Unsafe binders
  • Brands that you are unsure are safe

Binder brands on tumblr:

  • gc2b: @gc2b-apparel​
  • Shapeshifters: @shapeshiftersinc
  • Flavnt: @flavntstreetwear
  • Spectrum Outfitters: @spectrumoutfitters 

Final notes:

  • So this should be all of the stuff you’ll ever need for dealing with binders
  • If you’re a cis female using binders for cosplay purposes please don’t enter the free binder giveaway things
  • Don’t bind for more than 8 hours
  • Stretch when you bind
  • Don’t sleep in a binder
  • gc2b, Shapeshifters, Flavnt and Spectrum Outfitters binders are safe to swim in, Underworks has swimming specific binders
  • gc2b is one of the most popular brands and very much recommended
  • Underworks isn’t the best from what I’ve heard
  • I have experience with gc2b and Shapeshifters and I love both of them
  • If the brand is a lesser known brand the things to look for are clasps, fabric material, how much information they give you, that sort of thing. Clasps mean it’s automatically unsafe, the more information the better, and it needs to be a breathable fabric for your chest, nylon and spandex is the fabric to look for. 
  • Other than Underworks I’ve heard very good things about all the brands
  • There are ways to make a diy (do it yourself) binder but I don’t recommend doing so because it can be dangerous, and often it doesn’t work unless you have a very small chest
  • If you sweat a lot in your binder putting baby powder or talc powder on your chest beforehand can help

Great post. Just a question though, why is kt tape/transtape on the never list? Has it been proven to be unsafe?

I know a few people have had a few problems, but that’s mostly easily fixable stuff like scarring from the kt tape pulling on skin or something. But other than that, it’s fairly safe as long as you do it correctly.

Yeah obviously it can cause skin problems but I don’t see how that warrants putting it on a “never use this” list since traditional binders from safe brands used correctly have caused broken ribs. 

Yeah, I was agreeing with you on that. Idk why they put it there, maybe they see it as bad ass ducktape or something? Idk.

There are several reasons why I do NOT recommend binding with transtape.

In addition, Discriminant seems to be selling transtape and they are known for selling unsafe products.

As for binders from safe brands causing broken ribs, yes if you do things like sleeping in your binder you’re setting yourself up for a huge risk for breaking your ribs due to the combination of your body weight and the binder pushing on your ribs.

Even when using it correctly there are too many risks so I don’t recommend it.

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I keep thinking about this

It’s kinda fucked up how straight people pretend like gay people and straight people are equal now that gay marriage is legalized when they literally waited until it was culturally irrelevant to legalize it. Gay marriage was super important during the AIDS epidemic when no cure was being researched and loved ones were dying alone in the ICU because partners who had been together for years werent allowed to tell their loved ones goodbye. And now that HIV/AIDS is practically curable and a very manageable disease they finally give us gay marriage. They kill us in the thousands then give us our rights when they’re not important anymore. Straight people will offer us band-aids while we bleed to death. 

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Parents, don’t ever tell your children that their gender doesn’t exist. Even if you think that science prevents things like genderfluid and genderflux, even if you think trans people are faking it, do not say this to your kids. This was told to me when they found out and it’s really messed with my head. I lay awake at night thinking about it sometimes. It can be so damaging. Please, for your kids sake, don’t ever tell them their gender doesn’t exist.

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Listen up everyone

Cuz my three year old daughter has this giant stuffed caterpillar that she’s been calling Steven since always, and just a moment ago she picked up Steven, looked at me, and announced in the most casual, earnest way that Steven was a girl now. But Steven still wanted to keep her name. And I just… if my toddler can understand and accept the concept of transgender then the rest of the world is literally out of excuses.