Hares or rats? Hares or rats? Sir, hares or rats? Here you go! Hares or rats? Hares or rats? Ma'am? Hares or

We need to have a nomination for “Stupidest thing Tumblr.com has ever believed” and just move into an official Top 10 List.

For my nominations, I’m putting up:

or

I can’t decide which is more beautiful. It’s why we need a vote.

this is a picture of the human brain at the moment of death. tragic and beautiful

Fuck. That is a damn good nomination.

if you close your eyes when the train hits your brain will assume you are dead. Some find this comforting.

We’re getting into the good ones now. This is some classic Tumblr.

Two old favourites:

“Bitch, That’s the Tubby Custard Machine” (http://imgur.com/gallery/IObQF)

and the horse dildo that was passed off as someone’s arm. (http://abakkus.tumblr.com/post/48958415162)

This is rapidly becoming a master post of ignorances and I could not possibly be happier.

Rare blue watermelon

That disease where you get purple eyes, no period, and no body hair

How have we gone this far without anyone mentioning the bird in the chocolate fountain

soap makes water molecules smaller

I nominate the “we are killing the earth” picture of the earth in comparison from 1978 to 2012

the dog with the slice of ham on its face that everyone thought was a gigantic burn scar

“Tequila is the only alcohol thats not a depressant so you can drink as much of it as you like”

that post with the picture of the joker without makeup and people thinking it was a real person and defending him

that photo of voldemort being passed off as an aborted fetus

The two way mirror

“listen here, cumslut.”

I can’t believe you guys forgot someone trying to pass off a picture of the inside of a fig as a microscopic view of the inside of a vagina.

I can’t believe I was on Tumblr for every single one of these posts.

all the links on this post are broken and some arent given so heres a compilation of links for the stupidest things tumblr has believed (i tried to find the og post for most of these but some of them are posts/articles about said posts)

infinite chocolate hack

berensta/ein bears (mandela effect)

mri scan walking dead gif

train gif brain thinks you died

tubby custard machine

horse dildo

moonmelon (and variations)

alexandria’s genisis

bird chocolate fountain og post

soap shrinks water molecules

we are killing the earth

ham on dog

tequila isnt a depressant

earth is lumpy

joker without makeup

voldemort fetus

two way mirror og post

fig vagina

*puts hand on your shouder* its ok dont cry. I know what it feels like to get run over by a car one million times. Forwards and backwards. Until you get really flat and dont have any blood left.

I dont care if thats not what youre going through. I just wanted to say something crazy. Can i have a few dollars from your wallet

hey fellas, im tearing down my god awful sanctuary hills build that i did at the beginning of the game and rebuilding it from the ground up into a trading hub to rival bunker hill. any advice

i should mention im on ps4 so No Mods For Me

cait, drunk: I AM A LESBIAB!

cait, drunk: LESBAB.. .

cait, drunk: LESBIAM…?

piper: it’s okay, take your time

cait, drunk: …girls.

every npc ever: stay away from hancock and goodneighbour, he’s bad news

hancock after one (1) day of travelling with u: hey so i made us these friendship bracelets

Guess who just spent 2 hours analyzing the in-game dialogue to make a bunch of graphs showing which characters swear the most

So as demonstrated by this graph, Gage has the most colorful vocabulary, followed up by Cait and Hancock. Codsworth, Ada, and Curie (who never swears at all) bring up the rear.

As for preferred swears, the companions can be broken up into camps.

Prefer damn: Ada, Cait, Danse, Hancock, Longfellow, MacCready, Piper, Preston, Strong, Valentine, X6-88

Prefer bastard: Codsworth

Prefer hell: Deacon, Piper, Valentine

Prefer piss: Strong

Prefer shit: Gage

A more advanced break-down is in the following graphs. Yes, I included “heck.” Not because it’s a swear, but because I was curious.

Ada:

Cait:

Codsworth:

Danse:

Deacon:

Gage:

Hancock:

Longfellow:

MacCready:

Piper:

Preston:

Strong:

Valentine:

X6-88:

Finally, I graphed who used each swear most. Not surprisingly, Gage and Cait take most of the prizes in that department.

When the FUCK does codsworth say shit

I believe he said “and shit,” but he was quoting someone else at the time (Sole? I think? I don’t know, the dialogue files rarely provide much context), so it wasn’t really his original phrasing. But I counted it, because technically he did say it. 

His other three swears, though (two bastards and one piss), were definitely his own words. One was talking about communists, one’s a combat cry, and he used “get pissed” colloquially to refer to being drunk.