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@minny3005

20 // wifey to be //
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minny3005
thebootydiaries

me: *sees a white boy* *locks my car doors*

white boy: *knocks on window* what would you be doing if I was in there with you ;)

minny3005
whyisnobodyalonebutme
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deafmic

can yall just like. be nice to each other. i PROMISE being vile and horrible isn’t worth it in the long run. like i promise being mean will not make you happier. being intentionally mean-spirited doesn’t make you cool and likeable. 

minny3005
whyisnobodyalonebutme
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laarne

no offense but the soft uncertain kiss followed by a pause where the people look each other in the eyes and then fucking pull eachother back into a more passionate kiss will always be the most soul destroying trope , catch me lying on the fucking ground sobbing and rewatching The Scene™✌🏼✌🏼✌🏼

minny3005
thebootydiaries
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neonmanatee

this one time I ran a red light on mistake and I didn’t notice it was red until it was too late so I just ran the light screeching like an angry pterodactyl the entire time

a cop was at the intersection so he pulled me over and when he came up to my window he was wheezing cause he was laughing so hard and he said

“ok so i know you ran a red light and that’s really bad and you should never do it again but i’m not gonna give you a ticket cause that was the funniest thing i’ve ever seen and my partner can’t get out of the car cause he’s laughing so hard he’s about to pee himself”

i forgot that i’d had my window open when i ran the red light and the cop told me that all he heard from my car was this really high-pitched “screeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEAAAHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”

and that’s how i got out of getting a ticket for running a red light

minny3005
enfoss
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manywinged

admit it, we’ve all fantasised about slow-dancing in the kitchen barefoot in our pyjamas at 2am in the arms of someone we love while old romantic jazz songs play softly on the radio

minny3005
enfoss

I say no worries a lot for someone who worries 101% of the time