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To the one who loves her next, She’s terrified of spiders. So when you’re out late with friends and she texts you freaking out because there’s one on her window, please go kill it. She won’t sleep otherwise. She is a total textbook introvert. She won’t reply for hours and sometimes you won’t see her for a week. You will take this personally. Don’t. She’s simply taking care of herself and she’ll tell you how much she missed you while she was away. She’ll get very jealous. My god, she gets so jealous. Those brown eyes will turn a deep green. She hates that about herself, and she doesn’t mean to do it. Remember, she loves you. Reassure her that you love her too. On that topic, she needs constant reassurance. Tell her you love her and mean it. If you can’t do that, leave. She deserves more than that. There will be nights when she goes out and drinks a little too much. She’ll call you to bring her home. When you do, she’ll try to keep you up all night by tickling you and repeating “I love you and I’m sorry I’m annoying.” She’s not annoying. But make sure she has plenty of water and don’t let her pass out until she drinks it, or she will be miserable in the morning. She is the most independent woman I know. But she’s so insecure, it still breaks my heart. So when she starts an argument with “you don’t love me.” Do not get upset. Remind her you do and the reasons why. She’ll come around. The cat comes first. Always. Don’t ever think otherwise. Make her tea and remember the way she takes her coffee. She will notice. When she’s having an anxiety attack, wrap her up in your arms and rub her back. Tell her she’s safe and remind her that she has medication if she needs it. If you cannot treat her like royalty, let someone else. That girl deserves the world. Losing her is a pain you will never shake. Your world will come crashing down on you and those pieces won’t ever fit the way they used to. Don’t let her go. She will love you with all she’s got. Please give her the same. I am begging you to not hurt her. She is golden. Don’t let that shine die out. Give her your all and she’ll return the favor. You will never have to ask the universe for anything ever again.

Sincerely, a name you’ll hear in passing. (via bl-ossomed)

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I accidentally cut my finger today with a knife and I realized something through those five minutes of pain. It made me forget about you. It made me forget about everything around me. I was too focused on the pain to think of anything else. And after it was gone and you jumped back into my head and reality was once again vivid, I missed it. I missed the pain. In the same way I miss you. And now I understand why it is people self harm. It makes them forget. It fades away the memories. It brings relief. It makes my veins sigh in contentment because they’re being set free. It’s a distraction. And maybe that’s why I started. Because it made me forget about you. It brought my relief, made my veins sigh. It distracted me. All I ever wanted was to be happy - and this is it. Forgetting you makes me happy.

I have to let go (via itzonlyyoubabe)

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reblogged

Dear self,

Please eat less.

Please stay strong.

Please run for longer.

Please stay in control.

Please don’t gain weight.

Please go to bed feeling empty.

Please, please, please don’t binge.

Please just hurry up and get thin.

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#Startingpoint #ana #wanttobeskinny #fat #thintobe

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extrasad
It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s the sound I heard when I was 9 and my father slammed the front door so hard behind him I swear to god it shook the whole house. For the next 3 years I watched my mother break her teeth on vodka bottles. I think she stopped breathing when he left. I think part of her died. I think he took her heart with him when he walked out. Her chest is empty, just a shattered mess or cracked ribs and depression pills. It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s all the blood in the sink. It’s the night that I spent 12 hours in the emergency room waiting to see if my sister was going to be okay, after the boy she loved, told her he didn’t love her anymore. It’s the crying, and the fluorescent lights, and white sneakers and pale faces and shaky breaths and blood. So much blood. It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s the time that I had to stay up for two days straight with my best friend while she cried and shrieked and threw up on my bedroom floor because her boyfriend fucked his ex. I swear to god she still has tear streaks stained onto her cheeks. I think when you love someone, it never really goes away. It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s the six weeks we had a substitute in English because our teacher was getting divorced and couldn’t handle getting out of bed. When she came back she was smiling. But her hands shook so hard when she held her coffee, you could see that something was broken inside. And sometimes when things break, you can’t fix them. Nothing ever goes back to how it was. I got an A in English that year. I think her head was always spinning too hard to read any essays. It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s that I do.

It’s not that I don’t love you.    (via itcuddles)