Knife Condemned To Week Inside Saran-Wrapped Brownie Pan

ugh this is so fucking sexy look at it there helpless

this is SO REAL i’ve been saying this

i’m just saying, the substances scene in gotham would be unlike anything else . a fucking minefield. joker gas weed

smokin on the shit that made harvey dent

Very annoy when this happens

*gas mask breathing noises* you know where the nearest taco bell is

*muffled plague doctor mask noises* down the block to the left

Ahead of their time

what if we... fell in love... and it worked out... wow

these bitches really get it huh

me: logs into my google account

google all up in my email: BITCH??? THE FCUK IS YOU HACKED???

i hate when i go up north and go to restaurants and the waiter comes to take my order and im like “do yall have sweet tea??” and theyre like “no sweetheart but we have unsweetened iced tea and we can give you some sugar packets!!!” llike no you fucking yankee because now the tea is already cold so the sugar wont dissolve in it and itll all just sink the bottom and be nasty learn basic fucking solubility this is 9th grade chemistry thats why sweet tea exists in the first place you fucking heat the tea up to make it and then while its still hot you add the sugar and then you chill it and its sweet fucking tea i bet you pronounce pecan like peecan too you four seasons-having piece of shit

im screaming into my pillow

*brings this to a friend who doesnt own a cat’s house and sticks it under the doorframe while they’re in the bathroom*

I’m high as fuck and I thought there was a whole cat in there

Because some days you want a small private gathering…and some days Arthur and his Knights drop by.  

That last comment

Soup is so crazy its like hot water but its got stuff goin on

being an adult and buying your own shit is so weird i don’t understand why anything is priced the way it is. why did my tattoo cost 8 toothpastes? why does a pair of socks cost a sandwich but a fancy dinner costs a whole jacket? why is book the same cost as 2 bag frozen vegetables? nothing makes sense i just wanna steal.

boss told me it was "my turn" to name the bettas

this naturally was a huge mistake

I've made it my mission to slowly replace the remaining "normal" names

I love this audio with a passion

LOVE LOVE LOVE