Do you consider fanfiction legitimate writing?
I won the 2004 Hugo Award for Best Short Story for an H. P. Lovecraft /Arthur Conan Doyle mashup fiction, so fanfiction had better be legitimate, because I'm not giving the Hugo back.
Or the 20O5 Locus Award for Best Novelette. I'm not giving that back either.
Off to a good start
Hello i have a new favorite movie
Wait is this man a priest or a pastor 🤔 if he's a priest then the title is false advertising
[gun fire]
[raptor screeches]
She's talking abt how he turned into a dinosaur and ate the guy who was trying to rob her
"I don't believe you! Dinosaurs never existed, and even if they did, I didn't turn into one!"
Solidarity
Me: bro they better keep this shit platonic
[Carol and Priest looking at each other, smiling lightly after sharing an embrace, tension building]
Me: 😒
[Carol and Priest share a massive high five]
Me: oh??? 😏😌
He's literally reading a book called Crime
Velocifather: father stewart, what if i told you i was...different
Father Stewart: you're not THAT different. they're are plenty of people like that in the church
Bro i can't even describe this vietnam war flashback.....there's 5 guys in jeans and thrifted military jackets in what is clearly someone's backyard......a bloody helmet on a garden fence is meant to symbolize how many brothers in arms they've lost.....they just stuck a blond wig on the old priest to show how young he was back then.......his gf just showed up and stepped on a land mine and died....which is why he joined the priesthood...the editing feels like a fever dream
How can you talk about this movie without showing the fucking dinosaur
Saying that man and woman are the only genders is actually LESS nuanced than saying that earth, water, air, and fire are the only elements.
thanks for reading!
The Conductor is a birb of complicated emotions that he doesn’t quite understand. It became worse after he lost once.
this meme I hate it
I’m mostly mad that I had to sing EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE in my head
The most realistic part about this is that this is clearly a funeral, which means you died a week before this and the manager still didn’t plan to cover your shifts
“Lighten Up” by Ronald Wimberly
Beautifuly written- and drawn.
Damn. Really powerful and beautifully drawn.
i’m obsessed with how well this guy does the bethesda character feet movements
The scariest costume …
Aries: scintilla (n) - a tiny spark Taurus: serenity (n) - the state of being untroubled, peaceful Gemini: ebullience (n) - bubbling enthusiasm Cancer: limerence (n) - the state of being infatuated with another person Leo: lilt (v) - to move musically Virgo: eloquence (n) - the art of using language in an apt, fluent way Libra: equanimity (n) - mental calmness, composure, evenness of temper Scorpio: surreptitious (adj) - kept secret Sagittarius: hiraeth (n) - a homesickness for a home you can’t return to, or that never was Capricorn: petrichor (n) - the smell of earth after rain Aquarius: renaissance (n) - rebirth Pisces: ethereal (adj) - extremely delicate, light, not of this world
Word count in the HP Series:
Sorcerer’s Stones: 76,944 Chamber of Secrets: 85,141 Prisoner of Azkaban: 107,253 Goblet of Fire: 190,637 Order of the Phoenix: 257,045 Half-Blood Prince: 168,923 Deathly Hallows: 198,227
Word count in the LOTR Series:
The Hobbit: 95,022 Fellowship of the Ring: 177,227 Two Towers: 143,436 Return of the King: 134,462
Me, looking over the architecture plans for my evil organization’s base: “Hmm. Looks good, but there’s just one one problem. The vents need to be bigger. Make those air ducts easily accessible and large and strong enough for a well-muscled adult man to crawl through them.”
Henchman: “Isn’t that a security risk?”
Me: “What? No. Also, make sure they form an unbroken connection between all the most important rooms in my lair.”
Me: “Actually, now that I think about it, why not add plush carpeting to the floor of the air ducts? Something soft and cushioning beneath knees. Can you place drinking fountains throughout? Maybe scatter some protein bars.”
Henchman: “Um… boss?
Me: “And one of those motivational posters! Is the ‘hang in there’ kitten too cheesy? Maybe… maybe I should leave handwritten notes taped to the walls. Flowers? Is flowers too much? What about tic-tacs?”
Henchman: “Jesus, boss! Do you want me to go ahead and hang up an artistic nude oil painting of you in the air ducts?”
Me: “Ooh. Do you paint?!”
Excuse me…?! Why, I never! Who do you think you are? Don’t be ridiculous. Why would you think such a thing? Disgusting. You have such a filthy, depraved mind. Gross! Ew! Ew ew ew! I built this death trap to KILL my nemesis. That’s why I included a deactivation switch in easy reach. And sexy, sexy straps… so that I can see that they’re not hiding any secret weapons, of course! I’m all business. I’m all about business. Now, get out of my sight. I need to take a bath with my nicest bath bomb and scented oils.
Henchman: “Are you alright, boss?”
Me: “Hm? Yes, I’m fine. Why do you ask?”
Henchman: “Well. I mean. You’ve been listening to ‘Genghis Khan’ by Miike Snow on repeat for sixteen loops while watching yourself sexy-cry in front of a mirror.”
Me: “And?”
Henchman: “Sir, have you… considered making an online dating profile?”
Me: “Uh, no. What for?”
Henchman: “I just thought it might make it easier to, you know… meet cute guys.”
Me: “Don’t patronize me, you useless fool. I know how to meet cute guys. That’s easy! You just take the mayor hostage or build a bomb that looks like your face and they come running.”
Henchman: “Okay, okay, fair enough, you know how to meet cute guys. But what about getting them to stay? I really think an online dating profile could help with that.”
Me: “It’s not MY fault they’re always carrying lockpicks!”
Me: “Well. It’s happened again. He left me… he shot me in the leg… I just don’t know what he wants anymore!”
Henchman: “Perhaps you should learn to take a hint, sir.”
Me: “What do you mean?”
Henchman: “Well, I think ‘a bullet’ is a pretty strong hint that he’s just not into you.”
Me: “How can you be sure of that?! He’s so wily and complicated. He uses bullets all the time - it could mean anything!”
Henchman: “Sir, do you know why I continue working for you after all these years?”
Me: “….job security?”
Henchman: “No.”
Me: “The atmosphere?”
Henchman: “God, no.”
Me: “The… uh. Retirement benefits…?”
Henchman: “You’ve got to be kidding me…. ugh! Just shut up and remove your pants so I can dig that bullet out.”
Me: “I can’t believe this! My own right-hand man, betraying me in my hour of triumph! After all this time—why, you back-stabbing snake?! I made you! I brought you to glory! You could have had everything you dreamed of and more… why turn on me now?! You viper! You scorpion!”
Henchman: “‘Why’? Well, my lord, because there’s only one ‘love language’ you seem to understand.”
Me: “Ha! I speak all the Romance languages fluently, snake. I am exceptionally well-educated.”
Henchman: “And yet you are a miserable fool. I am tired of this charade. Step away from the doomsday machine and fight me.”
Me: “But it’s… we made this together… it was important to us…”
Henchman: “I can’t let you activate it, sir. I have a world to save.”
Me: “That’s not your job! That’s his job!”
Henchman: “He isn’t here right now. I am. You may be oblivious, but surely you’ve noticed that.”
Me: “Are you… are you suggesting…”
Henchman: “Coffee? No. That’s not your style. There’s a laser tag arena down the street, I could sneak in some adult beverages, we could see where a little competition take us, and… well…”
Me: “This is so fast, I… I don’t know what to think…”
Henchman: “Give yourself time. Sure, you could destroy the world, but if you do that, if you press that button, there won’t be any more laser tag. No more retro discotheques, either. In the immortal words of ABBA, take a chance on me…”
Henchman: “So. About the wedding invites.”
Me: “Mm?”
Henchman: “Do you really think it’s a good idea to invite… him?”
Me: “Oh. Well. We don’t have to, of course. It’s not important to me one way or another—I just figured, you know, he’s known us for so long, he’s watched our whole relationship unfold, he’s basically how we met… who better to act as Best Man? But if that’s weird, if you’re not comfortable—”
Henchman: “Oh, no, I don’t mean that. Won’t he assume it’s a trap? We’ve tried to kill him so many times…”
Me: “So?”
Henchman: “So what if he tries to stop the ceremony? He’s always thwarted your plans before. I don’t want him ruining our wedding like he ruined your coronation.”
Me: “Well. I didn’t study improv for nothing. We could always kill him for real, if he gets any funny ideas. Hell, we could work it into the ceremony—I’ll hire an official wedding sharpshooter!”
Henchman: “You mean that?”
Me: “Of course. We’re writing a new chapter of our lives together… might as well start it off with a bang.”
Henchman: “Right. Well, I’ll go ahead and ask him to prepare a speech.”
Guys, I made a thing: Let’s get real about Doctor Who with the Time Lord decision flow chart.
