Everything Geeky and Gay

In case you think the writers on strike aren't making good use of their time, think no more!

Only click the read more if you're fully prepared. I'm taking no responsibility past this point.

Why does this feel like mans found a fucking backrooms level

gillion tidestrider would find out what being gender fluid means and hed be like “by the gods… even my gender can be wet… we truly are blessed” and jay is like “gill it doesnt mean your gender is wet- it just means you could be a girl one day and a boy the next. or you can be anything any day!” and gill grabs her shoulders and looks into her eyes with the most dead serious look shes ever seen on him and says “jay i can be not only the wettest man alive.. i can also be the wettest WOMAN OR OTHER alive.”

@idealpeenis

undertale

I was in the mood to sketch little kittens✨

Last week I accidentally took an edible at 10x my usual dose. I say “accidentally” but it was really more of a “my friend held it out to my face and I impulsively swallowed it like a python”, which was technically on purpose but still an accident in that my squamate instincts acted faster than my ability to assess the situation and ask myself if I really wanted to get Atreides high or not.

Anyway. I was painting the wall when it hit. My friend heard me make a noise and asked what was wrong—I explained that I had just fallen through several portals. I realized that painting the wall fulfilled my entire hierarchy of needs, and was absolutely sure that I was on track to escaping the cycle of samsara if I just kept at it a little longer. I was thwarted on my journey towards nirvana only by the fact that I ran out of paint.

Seeking a surrogate act of humble service through which I might be redeemed and made human, I turned to unwashed dishes in the sink and took up the holy weapon of the sponge. I was partway through cleaning the blender when it REALLY hit.

You ever clean a blender? It’s a shockingly intimate act. They are complex tools. One of the most complicated denizens of the kitchen. Glass and steel and rubber and plastic. Fuck! They’ve got gaskets. You can’t just scrub ‘em and rinse them down like any other piece of shit dish. You’ve got to dissemble them piece by piece, groove by sensitive groove, taking care to lavish the spinning blades with cautious attention. There’s something sensual about it. Something strangely vulnerable.

As I stood there, turning the pieces over in my hands, I thought about all the things we ask of blenders. They don’t have an easy job. They are hard laborers taking on a thankless task. I have used them so roughly in my haste for high-density smoothies, pushing them to their limits and occasionally breaking them. I remembered the smell of acrid smoke and decaying rubber that filled the kitchen in the break room the last time I tried to make a smoothie at work—the motor overtaxed and melted, the gasket cracked and brittle. Strawberry slurry leaked out of it like the blood of a slain animal.

Was this blender built to last? Or was it doomed to an early grave in some distant landfill by the genetic disorder of planned obsolescence? I didn’t know, and was far too high to make an educated guess. But I knew that whatever care and tenderness and empathy I put into it, the more respect for the partnership of man and machine, the better it would perform for me.

This thought filled me with a surge of affection. However long its lifespan, I wanted it to be filled with dignity and love and understanding. I thought: I bet no one has hugged this blender before. And so I lifted it from its base.

A blender is roughly the size and shape of a human baby. Cradling one in your arms satisfies a primal need. A month ago I was permitted to hold an infant for the first time in my life, an experience which was physically and psychologically healing. I felt an echo of that satisfaction holding my friend the blender, and the thought of parting with it felt even more ridiculous than bringing it with me to hang out on my friend’s bed.

"you cant get married platonically, marriage is about LOVE and COMMITMENT" yeah love for the bit commitment to the bit

THIS SHOW IS SO PURE!

It’s worth noting that Kenneth spent the entire episode making the game (and the subsequent fight) as inclusive as possible for JJ and his disabled friends (all of whom were played by disabled actors/actresses).

BONUS:

Bonus #2

Of course I had to show the best part:

Obsessed with the fact that this wasn’t a fluke and they are clearly training this cat to dj.

Are fedoras really that bad?

YES YES THEY ARE

voidethered:

wait, does that mean?

oh boy…….

Luckily, this nonsense doesn’t work on girls.

Observe…

IT’S GOTTEN BETTER!

This post is immaculate

It can’t be true.

And it can’t possibly work on motorcycle helmets.

I must test it.

Nothing happening so far…

HOLY SHIT IT WORKS

What in the world?

Oh why not? This should be interesting.

Here we go!

Were all mad here in Underland!

What the hell! Never Again!

… Actually …

One more time.

Alright, I gotta try this!

Can’t be that bad!

….

…oh my god…

ask-gmodsfmrocks:

This just gets better and better

This is one of my favourite things to look at

holy shit this stuff is back

The Gravity Falls one though

i wonder if it works for flower crowns?

here goes nothin-

w HAT THE

DID I JUST-

WHAT THE FUCK

Okay Clearly something is up.

Hmm… I wonder

I’m sure nothing could possibly…

HOLY SHIT

IT GOT BETTER

I HAVE BEEN SEARCHING SO LONG FOR THIS POST OH MY GOD!!!

I wonder what happens when you wear 8 of these at once…

Never not reblog

IT’S ON MY DASH. ACTUALLY ON MY DASH.

Oh my God, there are so many new ones

Friggin, yis

Always reblog.

IT HAS EVOLVED

The legend marches on…

BEWARE THE MAGIC OF HATS

JDNXHSBSBF

I T ‘ S  B A C K 

a classic meme from when the world was less of a tire fire

ITS ON MY BLOG YESSSS

THIS IS WONDERFUL.

time to bring back outdated memes…

what could possibly go wrong?

eww, it smells like fuckboi

welp, down this rabbit hole we go…

nothing’s happeni-

WTF-

Oh boy, this meme

I wonder if this would work with a wolf hat.

May as well try it.

Please don’t be awful, please don’t be awful, please don’t b-

get wet 4 furry

This is obviously fake

Look, I’ll prove it

Y’all are just acting

Watch and learn

WTFFFFFF

Should…… should I…….

DO IT!

Whelp guess I gotta put on the hat now

Can’t be that bad, I mean what’s the worst a squid hat can do to m-

I̖̝̪̤̠̋͞ ̛̹̱̮̳̭̓̂͑ͫ͐̎ͯ͗͝͡H͇̠͊́̚A̛̓̓҉͙̠V͍̌̏͂ͣͨͭͧ̉́E̸͙̭̣͓̓ͨͥ̿ ̽͗͗ͮ͊ͬͩͥ̚҉̪̗̝̘̟́̕A̴̴̙̝̬̪̞͂ͤͩ̍W͚̣͆ͬỎ̫̝̟͖̝͇ͥ͛ͮ͋K̨̖͓͉̺̫͉̀͗ͪ̊͌̉E͚̲̩̪̘̠͋̈͞N͉͓͕̗̱͒̔ͨͤ͛̓̂ͧ

Holy shit this is getting so freaking better than I thought XD

CASH MONEY

THE FLOWER CROWN

I FINALLY FOUND IT I CANT BREATHE

The legend ensures.

someone remind me of this next summer when im reunited with my football helmet

oh no, they deactivated before they could be reminded!

im still here lol

did you get your football helmet

havent been up to PA yet so no

what about now

gordon's no good very bad day. fuck hte rest of the scientist team

NVM I KNOW HIS LAST NAME NOW. TOMMY COOLATTA HTE BEST SCIENTIST IN THE WORLD

Football stadiums look like giant eyes when viewed from above

i don’t like knowing this.

Evil eye collecting and focusing powerful forces of enormous hatred.

this is why aliens won’t visit

Earth has evolved false eyes to ward off planetary predators

okay but how do i get me the kind of ace-coded intimacy that aziraphale and crowley have? the kind of queer relationship where you can feel close and share a bond through holding hands, sharing fine meals, and enjoying walks in the sunshine together? where you can spend hours in their presence doing nothing together, but still feel loved?

Loosing my mind over Crowley’s playlist, because while Aziraphale’s feels like songs he would listen to with Crowley at his bookshop, Crowley’s feels intensely private. I feel like he would rather be inconviently discorporated than have Aziraphale walk in while he’s listening to Take Me to Church

I haven’t seen anyone mention it yet but Crowley’s reaction and hatred towards Gabriel being here can be even more emphasized by the fact it was him disguised as aziraphale when they were going to destroy him. Aziraphale didn’t get to see what heaven did in regards to his punishment, hell at least gave Crowley a trial. and Crowley probably hasn’t interacted with Gabriel much beyond that if at all and him getting to see first hand how they treat aziraphale and the sheer lack of empathy they have for him along with seeing him as disposable, to the point of treating the act of literally killing him so casually. He can’t understand why azi could feel any sympathy for someone who’s treated him like garbage for many millenniums.

So far I’ve gathered from all the sneak peeks that season 2 is an idiots to lovers coffee shop au fanfiction featuring naked amnesiac!Gabriel and I couldn’t have asked for anything better, I apologise for the person I’ll become when this drops

david tennant calling crowley and aziraphale married couple a day before actor's strike is so iconic of him like yeah THANKS for the first and last promo being this

looking rather slick. may buy you flowers and take you to the cinema later.

Person B: They say that you are what you eat.

Person A: That's utter rubbish. I don't remember ever eating anxiety and back pain.