is she ok 

if your only famous song was a Christmas cover, would you be okay?

idk I would be okay if the Christmas song I wrote 20 years ago continued to make millions of dollars every year.

“only famous song”

@lilitharcane

Um the fact that a black latina woman can be the sixth richest musician in the world , someone who writes her own music, and escaped an abusive marriage -(Tony Mottola made her break up with her boyfriend when she was 18, when he was 20+ years her senior to sign her, he then started having an affair while still married to his wife, then married Mariah, refused to let her make music he thought was too black, and literally kept her LOCKED IN THEIR MANSION WHEN HE’D GO OUT, and if you don’t think the beggining of their relationship was coercive “you have to date me and have sex with me, let me control your entire life to work” wasn’t rapey and fucked up, to a teenage woman of color no less, get out of here, he even controlled her image, didn’t let her appear to sexual or anything like that), had a nervous breakdown and came out with one of the most successful albums (The Emancipation of Mimi) , earning her an extra 3 grammy’s, is fucking inspiring as fuck. 

Not even counting her five octave range and two notes (including working with nodules which is a hinderance to most singers actually) which yes, she may not be able to hit the notes she could at 20, but she started out with a wider range than Beyonce, Christina, and especially Ariana (who may attempt to do a whistle note, but she can’t enunciate or be understood during these notes).

People wanna give shit to Mariah for loving Christmas so much but she’s one of the most played Christmas artists of all time (tbh Christina’s and even Jessica Simpson- Tony Mottola’s post Mariah project who did release 2 Christmas albums) have never achieved the level hers are. And you wanna discredit the fact that yes, she has actually WROTE christmas classics. 

You’re just jealous you’re ain’t as festive, admit it.  

I’m so glad y'all flamed them for that dumb ass comment

The four horsemen of the apocalypse

Smack the pony and leave

Boney African Feet

I want a relationship where people look at us and say why is that fine ass girl with that ugly nigga 

milf

man i luv fruit

I want to frame this tweet

I laughed so hard at this in the middle of class

Nobody is more done with people than Steve.

DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO LAUGH WHEN I’M STILL RECOVERING FROM MY CHEST CONGESTION???? I’M LIKE HACKING OVER HERE 

I just read all of these and I can’t stop laughing 😂

Britney Spears - Andrew Eccles (2003)

I have never seen grape ice cream.

Actually, i know why this is:

Grapes contain a  a special molecule Anthocyanin that prevents freezing, so you’d keep ending up with grape milk. Many ice cream companies and manufacturers have made bold attempts at grape ice cream, hardly any of them successful.

But then, finally, those geniuses at Ben and Jerry’s did it. So why don’t we have grape ice cream?

Here’s the thing: Ben confessed in a People Magazine interview in 1984 that he had a huge crush on Becky and promised to create the flavor just for her. Knowing the history of grape ice cream, she coyly requested it, thinking it to be impossible. Ben began to include the grape skin and juice to better see the differences between batches. While he didn’t understand the science behind this at the time, he found that including the skins increased the levels of anthocyanin enough to make the ice cream freeze. “Becky was impressed,” he remarked, “We were at her house, alone. I gave her the scoop – on a cone. I was really getting somewhere. She was laughing and happy. She couldn’t believe I did it. I’ll never forget what happened next.”

“Becky jokingly gave her dog a lick from the cone. He liked it and took a couple of licks. Then he just gasped and dropped dead. He flipped down onto the floor and was just gone. I had no idea grapes are toxic to dogs. Specifically to the anthocyanin. Becky was devasted. I had invented a deadly dog poison, and I definitely wasn’t getting anywhere with her now.”

Yeah. 

tldr; The reason we don’t have grape ice cream is because Ben from Ben and Jerry’s killed Jerry’s hot sister’s dog with it.

holy fuck

Where is the video with the dude running as if he’s about to do the sickest skateboard trick, but then he just keeps running

“You’re an adult now.”

Me

im going to cry

i love how Tom and Carrie are going full out “behold the majestic Gary”

and if you zoom in

majestic af