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miki’s field notes

@mikisfieldnotes

observations on life from the perspective of a chronically depressed asian twenty something
“The dynamic of friendship is almost always underestimated as a constant force in human life […], but no matter the medicinal virtues of being a true friend or sustaining a long close relationship with another, the ultimate touchstone of friendship is not improvement, neither of the other nor of the self, the ultimate touchstone is witness, the privilege of having been seen by someone and the equal privilege of being granted the sight of the essence of another, to have walked with them and to have believed in them, and sometimes just to have accompanied them for however brief a span, on a journey impossible to accomplish alone.”

— David Whyte, Consolations

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“We all have forests on our minds. Forests unexplored, unending. Each one of us gets lost in the forest, every night, alone.”

Ursula K. Le Guin

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friendly reminders:

  • you don't have to be productive every day
  • you are worthy even if all you did today was get out of bed
  • there are people out there who care about you
  • your existence makes a difference
  • if something bothers you, then it bothers you. no one has the right to tell you otherwise
  • you are allowed to take up space
  • there is no 'right way' to grieve
  • you cannot put a time limit on emotions
  • your likes and interests are valid and they matter
  • it's okay to take your time in doing things. not everyone can do everything at the same pace

been having a hard time lately - mentally. still not sure what my purpose is in this world. i feel like my life is just fleeting by amongst great ones. what should i be? who must i be? i guess i needed these reminders badly.

here we go again

i’m having an out-of-the-body experience. i feel like i’m looking at myself from a distance, chin on my hand, disappointed in myself. i thought i was getting better, i mean i am, but there are still a lot of stuff i have to deal with.