venus and mars are so conceptually sexy like. what if the god of war and the goddess of love & desire were lovers. but because war is love they're also both soldiers eternally challenging each other to battles. they're mirror images of each other. they're fucking. they're engaged in a power struggle. venus has her foot planted on his chest and her sword point under his chin and he's enjoying it
No one knows how Duke’s powers work- least of all Duke. It’s a bit of… trial and error as the family help (and laugh at him) as he figures them out. Stupidest thing they’ve done with duke/ convinced him to do “just to see if he could”
- Harper and Cullen want to know if he can control light-based appliances, so he spends half an hour trying to telepathically unscrew a lightbulb. Results: he looks so constipated that Alfred offers him a laxative tea
- Tim wonders how well Duke can control lasers, so he sets up an elaborate maze of lasers and mirrors with alarms if any of them are tripped. Result: he can see invisible lasers and move the beams out of the way, but forgets to factor in mirror physics and trips the alarm anyway
- Inspired by a homework problem, Steph decides to see if Duke can manipulate light at the particle level. They "borrow" Atom's belt and shrink Duke down to the size of a molecule. Result: inconclusive—he ends up running from a rolling photon Indiana Jones style
- Damian asks if Duke can generate light in the absence of anything. They get away from Gotham and go into a really dark forest on an overcast night. Result: he can, but also moths
- Babs brings up the important question: do his clothes turn invisible? Result: no, in the most cartoonish way possible
- Cass is curious just how dark he can make things with his umbrakinesis. Result: Bruce calls the Justice League because he thinks there's a black hole in the Batcave
- Dick wants to know if Duke's powers are influenced by strong emotions like Starfire's, so he makes a list of Duke's favorite things and takes him out for the best day of his life. Result: they aren't, but Duke gets a rare Yu-Gi-Oh card
- Jason has the same question as Dick, but he takes it in the opposite direction. Every time they pass each other, Jason shouts, "NICE LEGS DAISY DUKES." This goes on for three weeks. Result: they still aren't, but Duke is really annoyed
- Duke wonders if getting hit by light beams hurts. Result: he makes up a whole new case to explain his black eye that now Bruce expects him to solve
- Alfred asks him to turn off the lights in the other room. Result: yes he can (the scream from the shower is irrelevant)
Using a wheelchair never made Barbara Gordon weak. Being on the autism spectrum made Bruce Wayne a better detective. Struggling with spoken language does not mean Cassandra Cain should be treated like a small child. Stephanie Brown is more than another teen pregnancy statistic. Jason Todd most likely has c-ptsd, he needs help not being labeled the unstable member of the family. Dick Grayson has more trauma than ever fully acknowledged. Damian Wayne is just a kid raised in a unstable environment, raised to be violent. Tim Drake was never supposed to be Robin, he did it because Batman needed a robin. Duke Thomas lost his parents, even though they never died.
Feature ideas I have to make tumblr worse
- Unfollow notifications. When someone unfollows you, you receive a notification about it. The notification includes the last post of yours that the unfollower saw so you know what the final straw was.
- If the unfollower was a mutual then this notification comes with stats about how long you were mutuals and a list of comutuals who have to pick sides in the divorce. The comutuals receive this notification too
- Ability to edit other people's replies.
- Ability to edit other people's blog themes.
- The ability to gift debuffs like those cooking competition shows. Pay $15 to make someone you hate only be allowed to post 20 times a day. Pay $30 and they can only make posts out of the set of pre-approved family-friendly message options like the Webkinz chatroom.
- De-blaze. Halt someone else's post right in its tracks by removing all impressions. The more a post is circulating the more expensive this is.
- 30 Day Trial Follows. When you follow someone you can't unfollow them for at least 30 days because c'mon, don't you wanna at least give them a chance?
- Obligatory "Tumblr houses". You have to act really really excited for the yearly sportsball tournament or risk being shadowbanned. Your blog is forcibly themed after your Tumblr house.
- Obligatory name, face, and address when you sign up. This isn't for verification or anything this is explicitly for doxxing. Hopefully you'll think twice about posting your rancid My Little Pony take now that you know the whole fandom can be at your doorstep in an hour.
this oicture is so fucking funny
*wakes up hungover within an inch of my life*why yes..I gyess you could say im.somethig of a Thinker
we could’ve just chisled in the fuckin date on it it’s not some stone age creation
yhea because the squid people that inherit the earth will know when Christ was born
They 👏 Will 👏 Be 👏 Catholic
I understand the appeal of wanting every adult hero to instinctively adopt teenage Peter Parker, but can it really beat the hilarity of acknowledging that at 15 Peter was 5'10", unusually buff, went by a moniker with Man in it, wore a creepy full face mask, and had a tightly guarded secret identity and probably a Queens accent thick enough to have come out of a jello mold, and adult heroes reasonably responded to him by going, “Wow, this grown man is an immature asshole for no reason.”
Way funnier to me than adult heroes finding out Peter is a teenager and becoming Concerned is the idea of adult heroes Retroactively finding out Peter Was a teenager because he admits to being like. 22 and they’re like “Hang on you’ve been doing this for like. Seven years.” and he’s like “Haha crazy right? Anyway it’s too late for you to yell at me about that because the statue of limitations on that lecture ran out when I turned 18”
YEAH this trope is instantly more tolerable if it’s fully adult Peter being like, *listen up whippersnappers because I’ve been around the block voice* “I’m thirty, and—” and Tony Stark, who vaguely assumed Spider-Man is maybe two years older than him because he just has that energy and hasn’t reassessed this for four presidential terms, is like, *drunkenly doing math* “You’re how many”
Okay but…them trying to talk about Old People Stuff with him, not realizing that he wasn’t alive to remember xyz thing happening, never used xyz technology bc he didn’t exist yet, not expecting him to agree with the fact that some ppl were saying songs they grew up to were oldies, etc
The thing about Peter Parker is that he was raised by senior citizens the way other heroes are raised by wolves. He has the body of an Olympic gymnast and the soul of a malcontented geriatric. This likely contributed to the perpetuation of the accidental ruse.
It’s when he channels Aunt May so hard he makes it sound like he was personally and immediately affected by McCarthyism that the time traveler fringe theory starts really picking up bets.
I agree here, but Parker is ALSO canonically a science and technology nerd. Peter ALSO likes to talk, because he’s nervous, and snarky banter is how he copes, but he tries to avoid any sort of identifying information, creating a situation where he just kind of mirrors whoever he’s talking to, and nobody can agree what age he is. (Marvel characters barely have canonical ages, so I’m making this up) Tony Stark (Late 30/ Early 40s), Comic book ages are fake) has had heated arguments with spider-man about the Starkphone’s latest specs, while also complained loudly about Oscorp, is convinced that Spider-Man is a 30 something engineer, is similarly convinced that Spider-Man probably works for him, and keeps trying to drop hints that like “You know, I respect you, you don’t have to hide from me because I’m your bosses’ bosses’ boss”. Hawkeye (Early 30s) Human Disaster/Secret Agent has reminisced with Spider-Man about being a human disaster, is convinced that Peter Parker is, like, 28 at the youngest. He knows Spider-Man doesn’t collect a SHIELD paycheck or anything, so his mental image is a pretty accurate take on most Adult Spider-Man versions. Brilliant kid struggling to make rent on a studio apartment in Manhattan. Black Widow (Age ???), Professional Spy actually clocks Spider-Man as a Teenager pretty reliably, but doesn’t believe her own assessment, because this is America. American kids play basketball and worry about Prom, they don’t do this stuff. I mean, yeah, it’s possible, since he has powers and such, but no, he CAN’T Be as young. She refuses to believe it. Captain America (Mentally late 20s, chronologically almost 100 years old) has no idea what kids are like these days. But he’s been studying 20th century history, and Spider-Man has mentioned an Aunt he’s close with who lived through some specific events. Assuming that this “Aunt” is, like, 20-30 years older than her nephew, instead of 40+ years, he believes that Spider-Man is solidly in his 30s. Bruce Banner (40s): Is convinced Spider-Man is also an Adult, but for opposite reasons. In Bruce Banners mind, Kids are rude, and Spider-Man has always been very polite to him, therefore, an Adult, although perhaps a youngish one. With his knowledge of Science, Banner imagines Spider-Man as a PHD student. Thor (Age ???? But quite old) Knows that Spider-Man is an adolescent. How old are adolescent humans? 42? That sounds about right. Spider-Man is a 42 year old adolescent who lives with his Aunt. That aunt, who Thor has picked up is quite wise and venerable, is probably somewhere around 500 years old?
This was a fun one, done for a fellow #mangosquad pal, J.T and D.W. at Red Robins after a night out on patrol #RedHood #Robin #dccomics #CCEE2016
if Dracula were in a boy band, he would be like, "fangs for the memories / even if they weren't so great"
i think we should all get tomorrow off for no particular reason. the next day too. maybe all the days
Dick "I was a terrible older brother and I need to make up for it" Grayson and Jason "for the love of god leave me the fuck alone" Todd.
jeremy fragrance was born with no perceivable scent and thus set out on a lifelong mission to capture and distill the very essence of humanity and create a perfume so divine that it would grant him godlike status among mortals, and after years of killing people and extracting their natural scent, he finally created it, but as soon as he poured it onto his body he was torn limb from limb and cannibalised by french peasants who believed they were in the presence of an angel walking the earth
You don't remember my old url....? O-oh.. no its fine. I said its fine! Don't... don't touch me.
*trips while I'm running away and you get a panty shot*
Huh
Can you believe they tried to monetize this shit
Ok I'll go fuck myself











