if quality hard to read free download: https://ko-fi.com/s/e12385c9ea
PRAYING that barbie sweeps the oscars not because i have anything against oppenheimer but because one of the few joys in life is seeing film bros melt down when movies primarily made for women are lauded as serious and important works
“this is my box! it was made for me!” - japan’s master of horror junji ito
my absolutely favorite thing about the barbie movie is that at no point whatsoever it explains how the mattel employes know about barbieland like imagine starting your new job on mattel and the first thing they tell you on orientation is
"yeah barbieland is real and we've had incidents in the past with a doll coming into the real world please see page 7 of your employee handbook for reference also if you wander into a random room on the 17th floor and meet a nice old lady don't mind her it is just the ghost of our founder"
After watching the Barbie trailer, my parents are arguing over whether, as a previous diplomat, Barbie should have diplomatic immunity in a foreign country (her home country being Barbieland) and thus whether her arrest by LAPD is unlawful.
Neither of my parents are lawyers or have studied international relations, they just got excited by the trailer
thinking about the scene in barbie where she asks for permission to be herself and she's told she doesn't need permission, and no one can give her permission for that, because it's just something you start doing
thinking about the scene in barbie where they say you don't need to be exceptional to have worth and deserve love, because just getting through the day is often hard enough
also thinking about the scene in barbie where barbie tells a bunch of construction workers she doesn't have a vagina and the construction workers who have no context beyond her being a pretty girl are like "oh okay that's cool"
Allan acknowledges the narrators voice, saying that he’s confused about how there’s only one Allan. This means he hears the narrator and understands what she says.
Later in the movie, when Barbie is crying about how she isn’t pretty anymore, the narrator cuts in to say as a note to the movie creators that Margot Robbie was probably not the best casting choice to make that point. Allan, able to hear and understand the creators voice must have heard this and therefore must know that he is in a movie.
When he is attempting to escape barbieland, Allan pulls a bunch of fighting moves out of nowhere, fighting off several Kens despite the Kens being the stereotype of a strong atheletic guy and Allan being Micheal Cera. It is my hypothesis that this power and strength comes from Allan being aware he is in a movie and therefore, like in a lucid dream, able to manipulate his reality in order to pull off feats like taking on five Kens at once (in a fight). In this essay I will-
Some things about Allan:
- He’s the only one who reacts to the narrator
- He’s the only doll (besides the Weird House) who isn’t swayed in some way by Ken’s takeover
- He also declares himself as “Ken’s buddy" (making canon his official box description) which makes his inability to be swayed more interesting
- He has bendable legs (probably the only reason he tries to jump the fence instead of going around like everyone else)
- He easily decked a half-dozen construction Kens and could probably singlehandedly win the Ken fight
- He seems to know more about the real world than most Barbies
- He knows what NSYNC is
- He knows about other Allan copies living in the real world (I’m trying to figure out if he made this up to convince the humans he can live in the real world, but even if he did, how does he know what NSYNC is???)
- There are no other Allan models
Also, props to Allan???
He's a doll most people have never heard of. He got discontinued forever ago cause he was perceived as gay by consumers and they didn't like that.
But I love that he had an actual role in Barbie. He was very queer coded, yeah, but he didn't like when all the Kens turned to Patriarchy. He was so uncomfortable that he wanted to abandon Barbieland all together. He knew it was wrong.
And then he helped the Barbies get themselves back. He had a pink jumpsuit and sunglasses and went out all stealthy to get the Barbies in the van. He even voted at the end to keep the constitution the way it was.
Big Allan fan over here.
ken getting arrested alongside barbie after she punches the guy who smacks her ass presents so many possibilities
- ken saw barbie punch the douchebag and was like “LET’S MAKE THIS A PARTY” and joined in on the smackdown
- alternatively, the guy’s friends tried to jump in and ken wasn’t having ANY of that
- ken saw barbie getting shoved into a big car with bright lights on the top and was like “OH BOY! can i come too?? 😊😊” and just kind of tagged along
- alternatively, he realized what was going on and was like “EXCUSE ME OFFICER i too have committed A Crime so please show me to The Jail with my beautiful girlfriend” so they wouldn’t be separated
- ken got in trouble for trying to help barbie escape but in his defense no one TOLD him resisting arrest is a crime because no one told him what being arrested or crime is
- ken didn’t know who these men showing up to take his girlfriend away were, but he could see she was very upset and excuse?? you cannot take barbie away from ken without her permission??? so long story short, ken punched a cop
- ken fully burned something down earlier and the cops were like “two birds one stone” when they came to get barbie
just saw Barbie so here are some (non-spoilery) highlights:
- ken becoming DEEPLY obsessed with horses
- MULTIPLE highly choreographed dance numbers that last for several minutes
- kens job is beach
- a tween calls Barbie a fascist (?????? ok screenwriters)
- mojo dojo casa house
- kens big mink coat having a HORSE THEMED LINING
- i know we were deeply obsessed with the outfits but good god. the OUTFITS.
- extensive Barbie lore
- Barbie’s heart to heart with a lovely old woman
- the kens building a wall
- beaching one another off
- KENS SONG THAT HE SINGS FOR LIKE 5 MINUTES
- like twelve executives on one tandem bike
- depression Barbie
- ALLEN
- i am kenough :)
- gynecologist.
beautiful beautiful deeply camp coming of age story with layers and so much life. ive gained twenty new sewing projects from the opening shots of Barbieland alone. made my gf cry. 20/10
We're not appreciating the Weird Barbie enough. It's said in the movie that she helps everyone who need help while they always see her as someone who's not as good as them. She was friends with all dismissed Barbies and Kens, was there to offer support and safe shelter for everyone who needed it in Kendom, without her nothing in the movie would've been alright. When Stereotypical Barbie calls her "ugly and unwanted" she still helps her.
She was representing a woman in women's world who was pushed aside by other women because she didn't fit in but still had more wiseness and kindness than everyone who thought they're better than her.