i am posting this here because i have no other outlet:

for three years i’ve been with the same guy. three years of my short life. but eight months ago he broke things off with me and it destroyed me. afterwards, i acted compulsively. i slept around, i did drugs, drank all the time, etc. just to try and numb the pain. fast forward a few months and he comes back to me. as unhealthy as the relationship was and still is, i went back. we were only apart for a couple months but he blames me for everything. the break up. the actions in between. and now the fact that he cannot trust me or show me any compassion. for months he has called me names, treated me poorly, disregarded my wants/needs, and taken advantage of the love i have for him. he is manipulative and emotionally abusive. i try to communicate with him but he takes offense to every word that comes out of my mouth and makes me seem like the bad guy. he only has sex with me or touches me when it’s convenient to him. he won’t sleep in bed with me or kiss me or comfort me in any way. i feel drained and i am so unhappy but he’s my comfort... my home. i don’t know what to do anymore. my anxiety and depression are at an all time high. i barely sleep. im constantly worried about upsetting him or making him mad at me. i feel as though i can’t do anything right and i just want to give up. i want to leave but i feel so stuck. i don’t know how to make this end. at this point, everything just seems so hopeless. he tells me that eventually he will be able to touch me but its been six fucking months and i can’t handle this anymore. i need love.