I have replaced the dragons in Skyrim with the state of Ohio.

Sorry I just couldn’t stop visualizing this

himbo convention

BABE PLS JDHSKSKDJS

Had a lil narcoleptic episode today and my niece told my very worried friend who thought I had just died “Don’t worry! Auntie has Necromancy!” and then WALKED AWAY without explaining further leaving my confused friend like

sooooo can yall help me determine if this is a fireable offense

a lady just came in asking if we have oat milk and we dont so i said “our soy milk is pretty good though, thats what i use in my drinks!” and she looked at me and went “yknow soy milk lowers a mans sperm count” and without thinking i just went “cant lose something you never had”

youre laughing. i got called a soy boy and youre laughing

okay to the people confused by this allow me to shed a little light on the subject

icant fucking breathe

when my old professor wrote FTM in giant letters on the board and pointed at it dramatically like "this means everything in economics" and I made eye contact with my one guy friend who was shaking and everybody else was sitting there stunned/confused for a bit until he said "follow the money"

i worked at a grocery store and all our in-house products were "Fresh To Market" brand. every single time i rung up one of our own products i would see like "FTM Tomahawk Steak" or whatever. and every time without fail i would think "good for him"

mud pool fun time

im typing this from my ps4

why are you on tumblr stupid bitch idiot play parappa remastered

killed this fucking goofester

certified iconic post

i see no difference love is love 😘👍

ON THE FUCKED UP STARDEW VALLEY GRANDA BED????

Reblog if you want to drink the murky and sinister drinks in Team Galactic’s Fridge

FINGERS IN HIS ASS SUNDAY

GIRL you are GLOWING! GIRL you are RADIOACTIVE! GIRL it's FATAL!

When your bestie works in the wristwatch factory

wait hold on i gotta look something up

what the fuck

My bf told me that I laugh almost every night in my sleep and I also slap him and deliver swift kicks regularly. Apparently I also put my fingers in his mouth but honey that’s all part of the package ❤️

My bf: goodnight baby I lo-

Me entering rem sleep:

@wafflehousecoffee absolute golden tags

I wish I had the confidence of Q Anon people making shit up.

I wish Lusamine from pokemon gave me the sloppiest tornado vacuum BJ in the world.

your wish has been granted

rest in peace king, hope it was worth it

does anyone else remember being terrorized every single commercial break by the madagascar 3 trailer on every single cartoon channel in 2011-2012

fuck you I can hear it

Someone ought to slap the asshole who sang this upside the head

Good news!

king

King