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Whatever this is

@metalheadspiderv2

21☆he/they☆trash human☆fandoms, hyperfixation, and shitposting

new gender, literally just a normal ass possum who lives in dracula's castle for some reason. is he a vampire. or is he just vibing. either way he just like me for REAL

NO FUCKING WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY

Oh to be a little possum fuckin Zoomin through the halls of Totally Not Dracula's Castle

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just learned that magnolias are so old that they’re pollinated by beetles because they existed before bees

They existed *before beetles*

Why is this sad? Why am I sad?

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This is how I feel about Joshua Trees. They and avocado trees produce fruit meant to be eaten and dispersed by giant ground sloths. Without them, the Joshua Trees’ range has shrunk by 90%.

(my own photos)

Not only they, but the entire Mojave ecosystem is still struggling to adapt since the loss of ground sloth dung. their chief fertilizer.

Many, many trees and plants in the Americas have widely-spaced, extremely long thorns that do nothing to discourage deer eating their leaves, but would’ve penetrated the fur of ground sloths and mammoths. Likewise, if you’ve observed a tree that drops baseball or softball-sized fruit which lies on the ground and rots, like Osage Oranges, which were great for playing catch at my school, chances are they were ground sloth or mammoth chow.

You can read about various orphaned plants and trees missing their megafauna in this poignant post:

First quote from the linked article. Found it poetic.

i can never face my family again

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You ever see something so funny you bypass laughing entirely and go straight for crying?

always reblog

I fucking HATE how this has almost one million notes and ive NEVER seen this. I have missed out on life. This was the best study break video I have ever seen. I’m dying. I most def sharted. 

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I can’t read this but I’m ASSUMING that showing sadness…is gay

Translation:

Panel 1: Hello. What are you doing?

Panel 2: I love and miss you so much. I dream about you every night, I can't live without you. And you?

Panel 3: I'm eating a sausage.

I've been taking in a lot of To Catch a Predator content and last night I had a dream I was doing a show with Chris Hanson where he catches the predators and then I would give my opinion on which condiment I would put on a sandwich for them. Like "I'm getting real strong ketchup vibes from that one, Chris"........🤷

That would be a nice spinoff. To Catch a Predator, then the cannibal cooking show, To Eat a Predator.

Dethklok’s music scenes: 😡💣🔞🔥💯💀🧨😡💣🔞🔥💯💀🧨😡💣🔞🔥💯💀🧨😡💣🔞🔥💯💀🧨😡💣🔞🔥💯💀🧨😡💣🔞🔥💯💀🧨😡💣🔞🔥💯💀🧨😡💣🔞🔥💯💀🧨

Toki’s music scenes: 💓🌈🌸💞🥰🦄💗💓🌈🌸💞🥰🦄💗💓🌈🌸💞🥰🦄💗💓🌈🌸💞🥰🦄💗 💓🌈🌸💞🥰🦄💗💓🌈🌸💞🥰🦄💗💓🌈🌸💞🥰🦄💗💓🌈🌸💞🥰🦄💗

Firmly believe that the only reason Charles Foster Offdensen isn’t a tumblr sexyman is that Metalocalypse has been off the air for over a decade. If/when the HBO movie comes out I am taking it as permission to go fucking ham. I am compiling a fancam as we speak

I’ll be foaming at the mouth and quite possibly create an entire side blog just to thirst over him on. 

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not to be a history fucker on main but the whole mystery of the lost colony of roanoke is so fucking funny

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tonystark-tm

governor of the colony: hey I’m gonna go back to england to get more supplies

115 colonists: okay

governor: ends up spending 3 years in england bc of a naval war with spain or some shit

governor: gets back to the colony to find everyone gone

governer: sees the word “croatoan”, the name of a native american tribe, carved into a post

croatoan tribe: has members and children with blonde hair/blue eyes, pale skin

everyone: what could have happened to the colonists of roanoke

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tonystark-tm

hi! op here. I’m fucking hyperventilating

*gives you a foxglove* *gives you a nightshade* *gives you a devil’s trumpet* *gives you a moonflower* *gives you an oleander* *gives you a lily of the valley* *gives you a hydrangea* *gives you wisteria* *gives you a buttercup* *gives you a daffodil* *gives you an iris* *gives you elder berries* *gives you a

please slow down I can only eat so fast

Elderberries are actually really fucking delicious. Used to eat them all the time as a kid when prepping them for my grandmother to make jelly. Didn't know they had cyanide until I was 19. Oops.

Whichever force or entity finally gave me the energy to write stuff again after 3 years is about to regret it because I just started last night and I'm already 2k words into an incredibly self indulgent fic about one of my less commonly written about blorbos.

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Kind of just want to pull my face off and leave it in a box for awhile actually

This but all my skin. Entire flesh suit. No noticeable traits or characteristics, only textbook depiction of muscular system.