— Chuck Akot

Victor Hugo, Les Misérables (via wordwhile)

William Shakespeare, Hamlet I.iii.77-79 (via wordwhile)

Henry James, The Portrait of a Lady (via wordwhile)

Walt Whitman, ‘Passage to India’ from the section ‘Autumn Rivulets’ in Leaves of Grass (via wordwhile)

Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Idiot, trans. by Eva Martin (via wordwhile)

Just let me feel bad for myself for a minute. I’ll pick myself back up, I’ll listen to your advice. But right now just let me be.

-WanderingWorlds

Alan Watts (via inthenoosphere)

Sometimes I believe that my perception of time is a bit different from those around me, because sometimes yesterday feels like a million years ago.

This year so far feels like how, when you look at the brightly colored rug at your grandparents’ for too long - you know, the one with the little polka dots and bold strokes of coffee stains; the one that’s a bit too red to be written in poetry as blood, and so you look away realizing that they’ve been trying to engage you in conversation the whole time, but for a moment all you can see is a magnificent display of galaxies swirling mid-air, like miniature fireworks waltzing with dust before their face registers and your mouth works properly again.

Sometimes a million years ago feels like yesterday, and on the bus ride to somewhere, your heart starts to beat erratically.

MJL

Today I finally read ANNE FRANK’S “THE DIARY OF A YOUNG GIRL”. Halfway through, I started taking notes of passages that stood out to me, that touched me and/or made me wish I wrote them first - just for future reference and inspiration. I did not expect it to be this long. This is the second time I’ve done this, the first one was with The Bell Jar (by the one & only Sylvia Plath - of course). 

- You should have seen him when he told us good-bye. He acted so normally, as though he were just off to do an errand.

- (…)we’ve almost forgotten how to laugh. Sometimes I’m afraid my face is going to sag with all this sorrow and that my mouth is going to permanently droop at the corners.

- I wander from room to room, climb up and down the stairs and feel like a songbird whose wings have been ripped off and who keeps hurling itself against the bars of its dark cage

- (…)we were a patch of blue sky surrounded by menacing black clouds. The perfectly round spot on which we’re standing is still safe, but the clouds are moving in on us, and the ring between us and the approaching danger is being pulled tighter and tighter. We’re surrounded by darkness and danger, and in our desperate search for a way out we keep bumping into each other. We look at the fighting down below and the peace and beauty up above. In the meantime, we’ve been cut off by the dark mass of clouds, so that we can go neither up nor down. It looms before us like an impenetrable wall, trying to crush us, but not yet able to.

- I love you, with a love so great that it simply couldn’t keep growing inside my heart, but had to leap out and reveal itself in all its magnitude.

- Wouldn’t anyone who took your place be a poor substitute?

- Can you tell me why people go to such lengths to hide their real selves? Or why I always behave very differently when I’m in the company of others? Why do people have so little trust in one another? I know there must be a reason, but sometimes I think it’s horrible that you can’t ever confide in anyone, not even those closest to you.

- I’ve reached the point where I hardly care whether I live or die. The world will keep on turning without me, and I can’t do anything to change events anyway. I’ll just let matters take their course and concentrate on studying and hope that everything will be all right in the end.

- I think spring is inside me. I feel spring awakening, I feel it in my entire body and soul. I have to force myself to act normally. I’m in a state of utter confusion, don’t know what to read, what to write, what to do. I only know that I’m longing for something.

- “I don’t usually talk much, since I know beforehand I’ll just be tongue-tied. I start stuttering and blushing and I twist my words around so much I finally have to stop, because I can’t find the right words. That’s what happened yesterday. I meant to say something entirely different, but once I started, I got all mixed up. It’s awful. I used to have a bad habit, and sometimes I wish I still did: whenever I was mad at someone, I’d beat them up instead of arguing with them. I know this method won’t get me anywhere, and that’s why I admire you. You’re never at a loss for words: you say exactly what you want to say and aren’t in the least bit shy.”

- I could tell he wanted to please me, but since he couldn’t make a long complimentary speech, he said everything with his eyes.

- “No, I’m not afraid, except when it comes to things about myself, but I’m working on that.”

- “As long as this exists,” I thought, “this sunshine and this cloudless sky, and as long as I can enjoy it, how can I be sad?”

- At such moments I don’t think about all the misery, but about the beauty that still remains. This is where Mother and I differ greatly. Her advice in the face of melancholy is: “Think about all the suffering in the world and be thankful you’re not part of it.” My advice is: “Go outside, to the country, enjoy the sun and all nature has to offer. Go outside and try to recapture the happiness within yourself; think of all the beauty in yourself and in everything around you and be happy.” I don’t think Mother’s advice can be right, because what are you supposed to do if you become part of the suffering? You’d be completely lost. On the contrary, beauty remains, even in misfortune. If you just look for it, you discover more and more happiness and regain your balance. A person who’s happy will make others happy; a person who has courage and faith will never die in misery!

- He swore I wouldn’t be disturbing him, and said that where there was room for one, there was room for two.

- It’s just that when you’re standing beside an open window at night, you can say more to each other than in bright sunshine. It’s also easier to whisper your feelings than to shout them from the rooftops.

- I asked him yesterday what he’d do if there were a dozen Annes who kept popping in to see him. His answer was: “If they were all like you, it wouldn’t be so bad.”

- Tonight I have to take a bath, and tomorrow? Tomorrow’s so far away!

- I don’t want to have lived in vain like most people. I want to be useful or bring enjoyment to all people, even those I’ve never met. I want to go on living after my death.

- I should be deeply ashamed of myself, and I am. What’s done can’t be undone, but at least you can keep it from happening again.

- Let something happen soon, even an air raid. Nothing can be more crushing than this anxiety. Let the end come, however cruel; at least then we’ll know whether we are to be the victors or the vanquished.

- “Deep down, the young are lonelier than the old.” I read this in a book somewhere and it’s stuck in my mind. As far as I can tell, it’s true.

foreign films 2.0

hi all! follow-up on THIS post.

this is another very long post giving you film and series suggestions in foreign languages - i have included my three target languages and french just to spice things up a bit. 

if you’ve seen any of these or want to expand on the post please fell free to do so!! this list is obviously very subjective and contains things that i have seen and enjoyed, so i would love to see a greater variety of genres/directors featured on here.

SPANISH

wakolda - this is straight up one of my favourite films ever. 1950s argentina. a family accomodates a guest at their hotel, unaware that their guest is nazi monster josef mengele. 

tiempo sin aire - colombian mum and son escape the horrors of civil war and move to the canary islands, but the mother will not rest until she has found her daughter’s rapist. contains some graphic scenes, not for the faint of heart.

la regenta - adaptation of 19th century classic, both film and miniseries (3 x 1.5 hrs) available on youtube. the film is mediocre but the miniseries stole my heart. pious wife anita torn between sexy local liberal and dark imposing priest. features an absolutely superb carmelo gomez as the cunning don fermin.

el crimen del padre amaro - another c19 classic, this time in a modern latin american setting where hot priest gael garcia b. can no longer fight his feelings for a certain young lady…

ocho apellidos vascos - SOOOOOOOO FUCKING FUNNY!!!!! 

la piel que habito - almodóvar, banderas, weird, cringy, intriguing,  “a horror story without screams or frights” [wiki]

la nana - “Raquel, la amargada e introvertida nana (eufemismo chileno para denominar a las sirvientas) de la casa de los Valdés … ve peligrar su puesto cuando éstos contratan a una nueva empleada para que le ayude durante su convalecencia. Raquel se dedica a hacerle la vida imposible a las nuevas nanas. Esta mecánica se repite una y otra vez hasta la aparición de Lucy, una mujer de provincia que logrará penetrar la coraza de Raquel.” [wiki]

el secreto de sus ojos - “Using a nonlinear narrative, the film depicts a judiciary employee and a judge in 1974 … as they investigate a rape and murder case that turns into an obsession for all the people involved, while also following the characters 25 years later reminiscing over the case and unearthing the buried romance between them.”[wiki] RECOMMENDED

vacas - portrays the conflict between two basque families that lasts three generations, starting in 1875.

la princesa de francia - looks ery promising, centred around a group of actors preparing shakespeare’s “love’s labour’s lost”, in buenos aires. read review here 

PORTUGUESE

ligações perigosas [BR] - recently released tv globo miniseries, NOT A NOVELA, available on yt. adaptation of laclos’ les liaisons dangereuses. set in 1920s brazil. love, sex, intrigue, DRAMA, 1920s music. great acting by selton mello and alice wegmann. i cried watching this. i love selton mello

justiça [BR] - also a globo miniseries, follows various characters in recife as each of them searches for their own private justice. RECOMMENDED

amores roubados [BR] - yet another miniseries, based on the book “a emparedada da rua nova”. leandro returns to his hometown from SP and becomes involved with three women.

3% [BR] - a dystopian thriller series, apparently available on netflix. “ The show is set in a future wherein people are given a chance to go to the “better side” of a world divided between progress and affluence in the Offshore, and devastation and poverty in the Inland, but only 3% of the candidates succeed.”[wiki] RECOMMENDED

pecado fatal [EU] - angst, drama, shy sweet love but also bitten family secrets. “a young man and woman fall in love on the night they meet, but he takes advantage of her when she gets drunk. although she doesn’t remember anything from that night, something nags at the back of her mind.” not the most accurate description - just watch it its good

o convento [EU] - a literature professor goes to a portuguese convent to confirm a conspiracy theory about shakespeare. this film is actually in english and french as well as portuguese, but i’ve included it here because it was directed by the great manoel de oliveira. stars john malkovich and catherine deneuve.

o dia de desespero [EU] - another one by oliveira, portuguese entry for 1992 oscars. the film shows the final days of the life of famed c19 writer camilo castelo branco, his blindness and eventual suicide. probably available on youtube. 

ITALIAN 

malena - a classic, story of how a beautiful young woman is ridiculed by her prejudiced community told through the eyes of a young boy lusting over her. very tastefully done and visually very pretty. plus it has monica belucci

la prima notte di quiete - 1972. scruffy alain delon is bitter and elopes with a mysterious student of his who keeps some dark secrets. very beautiful visually, lovely music, unexpected ending. watch this if you want to be sad and vague

lºeredità ferramonti - set in 1880s rome, cunning young woman weds into a split family and wreaks havoc. dominique sanda is brilliant in this. also very nice music by morricone.

FRENCH

des hommes et des dieux - algeria. eight monks live a secluded life in the mountains. when war breaks out, they are forced to make a choice between their faith and their lives. “a luminous tale of faith and heroism”, and also very prettily made. 

venus noire - based on the true story of saartije bartman, a black woman showcased in 19th century europe because of her body. explores prejudice, otherness, fetishisation, directed by tunesian abdellatif kechiche. RECOMMENDED.

la dame aux camélias (1981) - isabelle huppert stars as the destitute and illiterate alphonsine who travels to paris and becomes a courtesan. based on alexandre dumas’ novel, of the same title.

Fillers words are those small interruptions we put in our sentences whenever we talk. Mostly shunned upon when writing papers, or giving speeches, but in casual conversations it pops up all the time.

There are times where I just end up saying, “um,” “like,” “uhh,” and so on. You know, things like that and was curious how I can also transfer that blank state of mind in another language.

Well, that and it gives you time while you’re thinking of the right words for your target language. It sounds more natural than saying the English filler words and it won’t confuse the native speakers as much.

These are the filler words in the languages I’m learning:

SPANISH

JAPANESE

You can extend the way you say it such as eeeeto, or sonooo.

ITALIAN

RUSSIAN

FRENCH

PORTUGESE

Try using these words as you slowly start forming sentences, or just use it whenever you’re studying in your target language.

Feel free to add more, or let me know if I missed anything! Happy studies!

I havent seen anyone talk about this yet so im making a post. 

So lets say you’re researching something for a paper (or just for fun) and the research paper you want to read is behind a paywall, or the site makes you create a account first, or makes you pay to download, or limits you to only 5 free articles, or otherwise makes it difficult for you to read what you want.

do not fear! copy the link to the article

go to sci-hub.se         (the url is always changing so its best to check out whereisscihub.now.sh to find what the current url is)

slap the article link in there

bam! free access! 

DROOLS

it has only been one month since we last saw each other. i know that number must be minuscule compared to many others, but no matter, i miss you. i am beginning to forget the smell of your cologne, the feeling of your arms around me, and the scruff of your chin as i caress your face. good thing i’m good at reimagining “dead” situations. i miss you, baby.

i miss him.

Your book is going to be great; just put one word in front of the other. 

Productivity culture will deceive you (especially if you are particularly high-functioning or a former Gifted Kid) into thinking that any use of your time that can’t be monetized or leveraged for your personal advancement is worthless, and I’m here to tell you that’s the devil talking. Do shit because you like it.

WHOA.

Woke

—

😥😖 I was certain I was over him until he starting calling me again. Boys suck.