@mentalillnessmouse / mentalillnessmouse.tumblr.com
learning to stop hating yourself isn’t something that happens overnight.
it’s a series of negotiations you make with yourself over your whole life. it’s making one less self-deprecating joke. it’s looking at yourself in the mirror with a little more generosity. it’s forgiving yourself for that little mistake.
it’s not one thing and then you’re good. it’s many small choices you can make that slowly make your brain and body a little less uncomfortable to live with
please find some time rn and hydrate yourself ✌
You are not an awful person if you hate your abuser.
Even if they apologized.
Even if they’re family.
Even if they’re mentally ill
Even if they were abused themselves.
You are allowed to hate them. It does not make you awful.
I know society pushes on us to forgive. To “be the better person.”
I’m here to tell you. They abused you. They are not entitled to your forgiveness. That’s up to you. It’s not up to anyone else.
Do what you need to do. You’re doing just fine.
“Great people do things before they’re ready. They do things before they know they can do them. Doing what you’re afraid of, getting out of your comfort zone, taking risks like that - that’s what life is.”
— Amy Poehler
“Other people’s opinion of you does not have to become your reality.”
— Les Brown
You are young. Even if you have nothing else. You still have time.
Image description: “Having a bad day doesn’t undo the progress you’ve made” written in colorful letters on a beige background covered in little, colorful stars. Credited to “adoseofreminders”.
Image description: “Shoutout to those who have been struggling lately but still manage to get through each day and refuse to quit despite how hard it may be. I’m so proud of you” written in colorful letters on a white background covered in little, colorful stars. Credited to “adoseofreminders”.
Image description: “All the things I worried about that never even happened” written in yellow on the cover of a drawing of a blue book. Credited to “crazyheadcomics”.
“When you stop chasing the wrong things, you give the right things a chance to catch you.”
— Unknown
Image description: “Being positive doesn’t mean you can’t feel sad, unsure, worried, overwhelmed, angry, scared, exhausted or anything other than happy” written in colorful letters surrounded by little doodles of clouds, rainbows, suns and flowers. Credited to “colormehappii”.
Image description: “You deserve to make decisions based around your own happiness” written in black letters on a white square which is framed against a blue background covered in little white flowers. Credited to “jessrachelsharp”.
Image description: "Please stop looking for someone to "fix" you or to love you into worthiness. You are already worthy. You just have to be able to see it" written in black on a purple background. Credited to "blessingmanifesting".
You are enough. And you have always been enough, no matter what they said.
Is it toxic for someone to just hang up on you when you're talking about your issues like they're annoyed after they've vented to you before hand?
I did with my sister, she went on about her problems, I listened of course and gave as much advice as I could. Then when I said something that bothered me she automatically says "Ugh! Deal with that yourself!Goodbye!"
hey anon,
i don’t know about ‘toxic’ but it is certainly an immature, unpleasant way to end a phone call. if i were you, i’d have a convo with my sister about how that made me feel and how we can end calls on a better note. especially when the phone calls involve discussing heavy topics.
(side note: i really, really dislike when people cannot end a phone call politely and it leaves me talking to dead air for a few moments before i realize they hung up so this is a pet peeve of mines!)
stay safe,
maya
Does it make sense for your sibling to tell your being immature/overly sensitive for something that Clearly bothered you?! I've expressed how my aunt kept making me repeat the word Bok Choy every time I made this stir fry. I went to her for advice for it since it was clear that my aunt found the word funny bc it was an asian word and it bothered me since it was always asian related things that my dads side of the family found as a joke(Me & my sibling being half asian & me looking more asian)
hey anon,
it sounds like your aunt/dads side of the family might be the side that isn’t asian, correct? in which case, it sounds like they’re displaying prejudices and racist behaviors that you don’t find funny, relatable, and in fact find downright alienating. i can’t speak to the mixed experience, but i know that if this were my sister making comments like that to my biracial child, i would be enraged.
you’re not being immature/overly sensitive about something like this. you’re valid in being irked or pissed at your aunt.
stay safe,
maya
if you sent a non-anon ask in the past few months, i currently cannot respond to them because tumblr is... not allowing me to answer asks privately. hopefully this is just a bug i’m experiencing today and not a sign of a broken feature on this blue website.
as i work through the backlog of questions, i would like to remind our followers that we’re still looking for more moderators to join our team. if you love what we do here and want to help us out please check out the requirements and submit an application!
thanks,
maya
I am a graphic designer who had BDD and I am looking for some people to talk to about it and the project I want to do please could someone contact me just by replying to this is fine.
hey anon,
sorry for the delay.
any mice want to help anon out?
stay safe,
maya
A friend of mine has been going through a rough time. It’s extremely selfish of me, but it’s draining me. They talk to me and I try my best to help, but Idk. I feel like every time I’m in a good mood they’re in a real bad one and it drags me down. Idk how long this will last for, but I’m also not sure how many more times I can argue with them and try to convince them that they are a good person. I just feel rlly useless and selfish
hey anon,
have you set boundaries with this friend yet? boundaries can really help in a situation like this. you’re not being a bad friend by stating that you need to take care of your own mental health without drowning in their negative mental health--esp if you’re the only person they’re venting to. a good friend, even one currently struggling, will recognize that they’re causing you harm and draining you and will work with you on figuring out how to best prevent that.
one thing i like to do with my friends is ask before i unload on them or i’ll pause and ask ‘are you in the right headspace for this’ especially if i know they’re going through things of their own. it can be a lot to feel obligated to carry someone else’s wellbeing for them, but you’re not obligated to do so.
it’s not selfish to say ‘hey i can’t handle this negativity at this time, but i want you to know i love and support you. can we talk about something else that could distract us both?’
hope this helps,
maya
