Brooke

We need to have a nomination for “Stupidest thing Tumblr.com has ever believed” and just move into an official Top 10 List.

For my nominations, I’m putting up:

or

I can’t decide which is more beautiful. It’s why we need a vote.

this is a picture of the human brain at the moment of death. tragic and beautiful

Fuck. That is a damn good nomination.

if you close your eyes when the train hits your brain will assume you are dead. Some find this comforting.

We’re getting into the good ones now. This is some classic Tumblr.

Two old favourites:

“Bitch, That’s the Tubby Custard Machine” (http://imgur.com/gallery/IObQF)

and the horse dildo that was passed off as someone’s arm. (http://abakkus.tumblr.com/post/48958415162)

This is rapidly becoming a master post of ignorances and I could not possibly be happier.

Rare blue watermelon

That disease where you get purple eyes, no period, and no body hair

How have we gone this far without anyone mentioning the bird in the chocolate fountain

soap makes water molecules smaller

I nominate the “we are killing the earth” picture of the earth in comparison from 1978 to 2012

the dog with the slice of ham on its face that everyone thought was a gigantic burn scar

“Tequila is the only alcohol thats not a depressant so you can drink as much of it as you like”

that post with the picture of the joker without makeup and people thinking it was a real person and defending him

that photo of voldemort being passed off as an aborted fetus

The two way mirror

“listen here, cumslut.”

I can’t believe you guys forgot someone trying to pass off a picture of the inside of a fig as a microscopic view of the inside of a vagina.

I can’t believe I was on Tumblr for every single one of these posts.

all the links on this post are broken and some arent given so heres a compilation of links for the stupidest things tumblr has believed (i tried to find the og post for most of these but some of them are posts/articles about said posts)

infinite chocolate hack

berensta/ein bears (mandela effect)

mri scan walking dead gif

train gif brain thinks you died

tubby custard machine

horse dildo

moonmelon (and variations)

alexandria’s genisis

bird chocolate fountain og post

soap shrinks water molecules

we are killing the earth

ham on dog

tequila isnt a depressant

earth is lumpy

joker without makeup

voldemort fetus

two way mirror og post

fig vagina

Dashcon ballpit baby

Toddlers are so pure. She doesn’t understand that we help her with certain things because she’s little. She thinks that everyone just helps each other like that. So she tries to blow on my food and cut it up for me and tries to help me put on my shoes.

i was giving little wagon rides to a baby around the backyard one day and all of a sudden she hops off and slaps the seat of the wagon telling me to get on because it was my turn and i was like no it’s ok im too heavy and she was like NO ITS UR TURN and kept tugging on my hand so i would sit down. eventually i got on and it was just a little 2 year old trying so hard to push me around on a wagon not understanding why it wouldn’t budge but still so determined to let me have my turn lol

I don’t think I’d realised how many casual compliments we pay to our toddler until she started casually complimenting us back, because experience has taught her that’s How Social Interaction Is Done, and there’s nothing quite like a very earnest three-year-old solemnly and sincerely informing you that you look wonderful and smell nice to make you feel really good about yourself

I tell her she’s my best girl. She tells me I’m her best auntie. Then we both feel good about the world!

Teach them kindness.

my little cousin is 3 and she stands there and goes “you’re doing it!” whenever i’m like, making food for us, or doing the laundry, or pushing her in a stroller up a hill. she is the most encouraging sweetheart. 

first ever person to have to come out as straight

is anyone else bi or is it just me and that guy from supernatural

i guess it's just you

now why are they shortening the notes

tumblr staff just frantically rearranging furniture to make the place look nicer because a bunch of unexpected guests (twitter refugees) are coming over

its so funny to me that people on twitter n tiktok are like "ok but porns still banned on tumblr so at least we're better then them" as if they dont have to typ3 w0rd$ I1k3 th!$ to get around their censors

On nostalgia for the present

sue zhao, dialogues on love// aron weisenfeld// joan didion, blue nights// alain de botton// andrés lozano// ada limon, 'before' from bright dead things// laurits anderson ring, at breakfast// jon kabat-zinn //via @shhhitsfine

"Flowerd" - a better alternative to the "hangman" game.

What if there was an apocalypse but some people were really really in denial and optimistic and thinking everything will be back to normal soon?

Like they’d be foraging through the ruins of New York for supplies, shooting raiders in the face and saying “Man, this recession is really bad, huh?”

Umm….

ARE YOU KIDDING ME

this post, plus that satire one about the increasingly ridiculous callout culture that slowly became more and more accurate

this one

was anything going on in 2017??? did everyone randomly have prophetic visions????????

Tbh, people have been more in touch with their intuitions since the utter shitshow that was 2016.

Where’s that venn diagram from that person who predicted the rise of fascism in the US via the alt right

What if there was an apocalypse but some people were really really in denial and optimistic and thinking everything will be back to normal soon?

Like they’d be foraging through the ruins of New York for supplies, shooting raiders in the face and saying “Man, this recession is really bad, huh?”

Umm….

ARE YOU KIDDING ME

this post, plus that satire one about the increasingly ridiculous callout culture that slowly became more and more accurate

this one

was anything going on in 2017??? did everyone randomly have prophetic visions????????

Tbh, people have been more in touch with their intuitions since the utter shitshow that was 2016.

Where’s that venn diagram from that person who predicted the rise of fascism in the US via the alt right

How clearly does the point need to be made that "police officer" is just a fucking job, one with minimal training and minimal monitoring. It is NOT some kind of promise of honesty, truth, or heroism. It is a bunch of assistant managers with extremely powerful weapons. IF you can understand "pedophiles choose to be priests and teachers so they can get to children", IF you understand "arsonists choose to be firefighters so they can be present at their own crimes" - then you can ALSO understand "people who are bigoted, violent, and power-hungry choose to be cops for the opportunities the job presents" and you can ALSO understand "any occupational culture that chooses fraternity over justice - and the allowance of violence in the name of a unified front - is therefore siding with their worst representatives"

Men, especially cis straight white men, saying “what if it was the other way around huh?” with literally zero concept of power dynamics or historical context is one of the most boring things in existence

Original post can be found here.

Gentiles are encouraged to read all the way through and reblog.

Fun reminder that being antisemitic isn’t okay and disguising it as leftist “activism” makes it worse

her venmo

enemies to lovers who are still pretending to be enemies for the reputation

fake hating.......

i know there’s a lot going on but ICE are now one step closer to literally creating gas chambers. they are spraying a chemical called HDQ neutral roughly 100 times a day, every 15 minutes at the adelanto detention center (one of the biggest in the country). people are getting rashes, headaches, their insides are bleeding, etc. the guards are wearing gloves and masks but the detainees have NOTHING. and here’s a quick reminder - america inspired the nazis to create gas chambers when they gassed latino people during the 1917 bath riots. 

here’s a petition to sign. it’s close to it’s goal. if there’s anything else we can do to help i’ll update this post.

I don’t have the words to properly explain how horrifying this is. In April, the advocacy group Freedom For Immigrants published a report about unsanitary conditions at the detention center, where the immigrants were made to clean the facilities with only water, or shampoo. According to their report, there were sick detainees there - possibly with COVID-19, but it’s unclear since they weren’t being tested - and the conditions could easily lead to a situation in which the virus exploded among those there.

The guards are spraying this disinfectant in retaliation for the report. To be clear - HDQ is an industrial-strength disinfectant, which according to the manufacturer is “harmful if inhaled” and “causes severe skin burns and serious eye damage.” The guards are spraying it on everything every 15-30 minutes, according to sources, and immigrants in the center have already experienced severe symptoms including blisters, rashes, bleeding, fainting, breathing difficulties, headaches, stomach pain, and nausea.

And let’s be real - ICE doesn’t give a shit, either about protecting these people or about preventing a COVID outbreak. ICE, according to their own reports, currently has 25,911 people in custody, of which only 2,670 have been tested. 1,392 of those were positive. In simple terms - less than 10% of detainees have been tested. Of those, more than half are positive. We cannot estimate how many sick people ICE is currently holding, or how many more will get sick without any kind of prevention or care.

ICE is killing people through neglect, and when they dared complain - they started gassing them.

Unfortunately, with Trump in the white house, petitions aren’t doing much. What we can do, however, is donate to the advocacy group that is bringing these things to light, allowing them to continue their work and hopefully free more immigrants. Their donation page is here. Please spread this.

Things my dentist has actually said to me:

“Well, either the x-rays lied to me or you are spontaneously creating teeth. I’m going with the second one because it’s way cooler.”

“When was the last time you flossed? Your gums aren’t bleeding which means I’m either not doing this hard enough or you actually floss your teeth regularly”

“You don’t need to do a fluoride treatment I just want to go check my facebook for a second and this is the best excuse I can come up with. Don’t worry your insurance will cover it.”

“Take a whole handful of toothbrushes, I can’t order new ones in less ugly colors until these ones are gone.”

“Remember not to eat or drink anything for a half hour…or actually you know forget that go eat lemons and drink coffee right now. I make money based on peoples bad decisions, you should probably stop brushing your teeth too.”

“I became a dentist because I like making children cry and they don’t let you do that as a regular doctor.”

Chaotic neutral dentist?

PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF HECK, DONT BUY A HEADDRESS!!! THEY ARE EARNED!!! IT IS A PART OF NATIVE AMERICAN CULTURE. PLEASE LET THEM STAY THAT WAY!!!