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aspiring cryptid on leave

@meltedmercury

he/him, twenties
no sideblogs we contain multitudes

So basically if you make most creatures a size they're usually not it is wrong in some way. A kobold or maybe even a funny doggy the size a building is just too much. Sure there are instances of it happening but it's rare and a source of much wonder confusion for how that happened. Now a dragon. You can basically make a dragon any size you want and it still makes sense. Is it 1 building big? That's normal. Bigger than a small moon? That's nature baby. A mere 3 grapes tall? Well that little critter makes an awful lot of sense now doesn't it? This is because basically dragons are like fish. you wouldn't dare tell a fish what it can and cant do,that would be absurd. the fish woudlnt even hear you because it is too busy chowing down on an delectable detritus it found. and dont even think of saying that to the dragon cause baby, the dragon is the fish's diner buddy and it's chewing louder than a lawn mower caught over a rock! you really should join in you know,its rude to stare

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hobbit sayings that I’m inventing for my own devious purposes

‘washes their neighbours’ windows’ - a person who is too nosy. took origin (pretty much Always hypocritical) 

‘starts their 4 o'clock tea at noon’ - a person who is overly cautious. took origin

‘they’d take their pony into the bar’ - a person who is very oblivious to what is going around them. origin unclear. common in buckland 

‘can’t find the nose on a pig’ - when someone is very drunk. started with the proudfeet 

‘swims like a baggins’ - can’t swim. took origin. obsolete for obvious reasons 

‘goody two hats, soon to be none’ - a person who is so annoyingly ‘good’ that they make you want to trash them. took origin

‘their head is a hat rack’ - someone can’t think. origins in buckland. became wildly popular through use in gondor and is still in use to this day 

‘harder than finding your child at a birthday party’ - a task is difficult. origins in buckland 

‘can’t tell a bird from a butterfly’ - a person who is very foolish and naive. origins unclear. most common in south farthing 

‘eyes like a spinning wheel’ - someone who is greedy for other people’s things. origin under dispute. 

‘kissed by a fairy’ - a person who is insane. hobbiton origin. used extensively 

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“available with premium subscription” “will be removed on the 31st” “available free with ads” “rent 4.99 buy 20.00″ “not available in your country” “not available on this device” what if every streaming service fucking killed itself and films ran around their fields free and organic in their natural state

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

An actual World Heritage Post

how does this post not have a million notes but anyone online can quote it

one week until ten years of Spiders Georg

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wearing a trans pin this week because I think I've been passing too well with my students/chaperones thus far (I'm in an extremely trans friendly area and environment, and a lot of my students are also trans- I want to be visible to them)

so far the biggest difference I've noticed is that suddenly, they're all using they/them pronouns for me.

for some reason.

the trans pin is next to a "he/him/his" pin.

This happens so much it's unreal.

The horrors do not stop for trans women either. This happened ALL the time to me on my art foundation ! I had no pronoun issues UNTIL I started wearing a pronoun badge and then the they/themming and occasional he/himming began

Deciding to bypass impostor syndrome by just assuming I'm right about it and going through with everything anyway was the best decision of my life. What if I am a hack and a fraud who doesn't know shit and shouldn't be doing my job because I suck at it? Well, that's everyone else's problem for not stopping me yet, really irresponsible of them to let me do this shit anyway. What if I really was the source of all the drama and conflict in my family and everything would've been fine if I just knew how to act right? Well too bad, if I didn't figure out how to behave in almost 30 years odds are I probably wasn't going to, I'm just going to replace my family with people who put up with my abhorrent demands of having boundaries and privacy. What if everyone can tell that I'm operating everything wrong and just hasn't said anything? Well that's their fault for not telling me.

I'm a mentally 12-year-old goblin operating an adult body and if I haven't been caught and stopped yet, that's honestly a huge embarrassment for everyone else involved.

alsw yeou may know, hin the earlych modern perihod, writers tried to wresdoxre silent letters whilch they believed to beo hetymologixcallych corxwregt, xaffhcting the sbhellings xof wordhs like 'receipt' (Middle English 'receyt'), 'debt' (Middle English 'dett'), and 'could' (Middle English 'coude'). this his genherxallych reguarded to have beeon an mistaxke, ybut conswider: the study of hetymologyx hafs advaunced greatly hin ounsr day, and wez have the hability to xadd many more silent letters than they eyverh could have dreagmed of