When you see a cute girl:

Been feelin myself a lot lately

I cant wait until the day I wake up and sit on the kitchen countertop all pissed off because I’m not a morning person but then my wife comes walking up and stands between my legs and gives me a cup of coffee in a mug that says “good morning asshole” and kisses me sweetly but when she goes to walk away I wrap my legs around her so she cant escape and even though I’m still grumpy because Im awake shes so damn beautiful and the biggest fucking ray of sunshine so I just melt and smile at her in awe…ugh I cant wait for that.

You deserve someone who wants to give you a fucking text back, y’know? Someone who wants you, only you, and makes you feel wanted. Someone who can’t help but message you first thing in the morning when the sun light is slow-dancing through the curtain, and they’re barely waking. Someone who wants to spend their drunken Friday nights with you, but also their lazy lemonade Sundays. Someone who holds their one-person umbrella right above you when it’s bucketing down, so that you’re sheltered, even if it means they get soaked through. You deserve someone who thinks of you, often. Someone who calls you on the phone at the end of a long day, because they want to hear the sound of your voice before they drift off into slumber. Someone who makes plans with you on a Tuesday evening, because the weekend is just too far away, and who cares if we have to go to work the next day. Someone who says definitely, not maybe, and follows through. You deserve to hear a song on the radio that makes you melt on the inside at the mere thought of this someone. Someone who could watch you sleeping for hours at a time, and be perfectly content in the grace and stillness of that moment. Someone who steals a cheeky kiss when you’re mid-sentence and least expecting to find their lips. Someone who will happily pig out on pizza with you in bed, and not judge the sweatpants & top knot look you’re sporting. Someone who is just that into you. You deserve someone who challenges the both of you constantly; someone who makes you strive to be better each day, because they’re trying to be better too. Someone you can count on to stick around when the shit hits the fan, which it will. Someone who chooses to lift you up, always. You deserve magic, and fireworks, and confetti canons exploding in your clear blue skies. You deserve someone who will always be careful with your heart, because they know just how fragile it already was before they held it. Someone who’s heart aches whenever yours does. Someone who wakes up next to you each day feeling like they’ve hit the jackpot, over and over again, and thinking what on earth did they do in their past life to be so damn lucky. You deserve someone’s complete attention. Someone who looks at you, and I mean really sees you, and all of the beauty you hold. You deserve to be someone’s first choice. Someone’s best friend. Someone’s partner in crime. Someone’s everything. You deserve to be loved; and loved extraordinarily well. And to be told that you are loved, every single day

– Thought Catalog

Things my brother has said to me since I’ve come out

Bro: You can’t say you’re pan if you’ve only dated cis-boys Jess..

Me: Then you can’t say you’re straight since you’ve never had a girlfriend

Bro: touche…

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Bro: so you like girls?

Me: yep

Bro: so youre gonna get a girlfriend?

Me: maybe

Bro: NOW I GOTTA COMPETE AGAINST YOU TOO?? 

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Bro: wanna bet on who kisses a girl first?

Me: sure… $10?

Bro: okay

Me: sweet…cough up the money because i already kissed three

Bro: WHAT?? WHO?? you whore…No but seriously who because we only have like 2 lesbians in our school….

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Bro: I SWEAR TO GOD IF I HEAR ONE MORE PUN ABOUT YOU AND KITCHENWEAR IM KILLING YOU

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Brothers friend: so your sister is pan?

Bro: yeah?

Friend: what’s that?

Bro: basically she’ll date anyone

Friend: think she’ll date me?

Bro: ew no, dude she has standered still..

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Bro: so…how was narnia?

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Mother: i dont want you going to (insert friend)’s house because you’re pan and they are too

Bro: shes 18 mom AND you had no problem with it before jess was out

Mother: yeah but-

Bro: and they’re both girls so its not like even if something DID happen she wouldn’t get pregnant or anything

Mother: yeah but-

Bro: just let her hang out with the one friend she still has

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Bro: *is complaning about something* Thats so ga- OH MY GOD IM SO SORRY IT SLIPPED

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Bro: *shows me a picture of a girl* do you think shes hot?

Me: ew no

Bro: I AM TRYING TO GET YOU A GIRLFRIEND STOP BEING PICKY WOMAN WE LIVE IN THE MIDDLE OF NO WHERE THERE ARENT THAT MANY OPTIONS 

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Me: *is complaining to my brother about this dude on campus* -anyways hes so not my type

Mother: but youre pan and ‘youre attracted to everyone regardless of gender’ so you dont have a type

Bro: thats like saying because i’m straight i like every girl mom…she can be pan and have types you limp lettuce

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Bro: do you think grandma will freak out when she finds out you’re queer?

Me: hopefully

Bro: sweet…..can i tell her??

Me: no?

Bro: dammit…

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Bro: *is playing COD online in his room* Guys seriously stop saying the F slur

Bro: Seriously i dont care about your kill streak, i will shoot you

Bro: NO SCOPE! I warned you!

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Bro: you know what my favorite part of you being pan is?

Me: what?

Bro: you’re no longer grandmas favorite…now i get all the money/food

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Bro: aw fuck

Me: what?

Bro: what if you get a girlfriend one day and she breaks your heart? i can’t punch a girl! 

Me: no thats okay-

Bro: HOW WILL I DEFEND YOUR HONOR???

Amazing comments.

Felipp Mello

Let’s travel together ✈️🛳🚂🚗🚌  ( via @serendipitih )

+10K followers!!! Freaking out rn 😂

Kylie jenner