Every line in this video is iconic

I would watch this drama 

So the subplot of Holes is that Kate Barlow deals with the politically-sanctioned execution of her black boyfriend—who unlawfully kissed a white woman who was in love with him!!!—by becoming a serial killer who targets racist/sexist white dudes who harassed her, were rejected, then went after her boyfriend as revenge from the depths of the “friend zone”.

Go off Louis Sachar, let em know!

Don’t forget the main plot was a damning satire of the brokenness and inherent racism of the American justice and prison systems! Louis Sachar does not fuck about

It always fuck me up that older people don’t understand how this story is as essential to most american children as Gone with the Wind or Mary Poppins was.

unironically, this is one of the best books/movies for young people that exists

Kissing Kate Did Nothing Wrong

And the technical writing of Holes is perfect. Like, it’s one of the most technically-perfect books ever written. Basically any plotting or pacing or characterization issue you’re having, read Holes and really study how Sachar did it. THE LIZARDS! THE LIZARDS.

the twisty prophecies! the lizards! the lipstick! the humor! this book doesn’t play. a true classic.

Dude this line read is so good

I've watched this literally 20 times and I can't understand a single word this guy is saying

Tell me a soft memory

we would find out later i had burned off my entire cornea - about 65% of my eye. my doctor told me it is the organ with the highest concentration of nerve endings - i was in an amount of pain that can't be spoken.

and i was blind. for the first time in my life, i was totally blind. i kept thinking about reading, about writing. weirdly, just once, about driving. we had no idea if i would ever see again. just like that - my entire life was different.

it is a strange place to reference for a soft memory, to begin here.

my siblings were taking excellent care of me, but there was a moment in the hospital where, just through bad luck and timing - both of them had to step away for a moment. i was crying at that point; not emotionally. for 3 days after this i would still be crying, my tears, like a mermaid's, a frothy pink with blood.

my brother worried about leaving me. he had another, just-as-bad emergency.

"i got her," someone said. "don't worry."

a soft hand held mine, and then she started talking.

her name was jess. she has a wife named clyde. they live a few blocks up the street. clyde fell down, but the x-rays seem to be coming back better than expected. jess says she's got long dark hair and "more wrinkles than an elephant". jess describes every chair in the room and every person. she talks about her two kids and her cats and her favorite memories from college.

a doctor came. i had to switch to a different waiting room. i tried to stand up to follow the voice - i found jess's hand, following me. she didn't let go. she kept talking the whole way: lamp to your left, just a few more steps, okay to your right is the ugliest painting, good, now a little more walking straight, you got it baby

in the new silence of the next room she sat me down and called my brother for me, telling him where we'd gone to. and she stayed there for a bit, just chatting, her voice echoing in the eerie quiet. gently describing the room to me. and then someone was rude. from the sound of the voice, a kid, i think.

"why is she crying?"

"she just lost her vision," jess said. "she can't see."

"oh." said the kid. "that's scary."

the kid tells me he is here because he has peas stuck up his nose. that makes me laugh, his mom (?) groans. she tells me about the kid (he's 6, he likes paw patrol and eating cheese), about herself, about moving from cali.

jess says she's sorry, but she has to leave now, she's gotta go check on her wife.

"don't worry," says the mom. "i got her." and then i felt her hand press into mine.

for hours like that: i am taken care of by strangers. each person just talking with whatever comes to their head - not for any reward or celebrity or real reason, i guess. just because i am scared and alone and in the hospital and blinded and need to be distracted. not everyone even got told the story - they would just pick up in the silence with - oh by the way the television is playing HGTV - do you like that kind of a thing? yeah, me too, but could never quite get into those open-floor plans, i'll tell you -

by the time my brother is able to come back, the room is buzzing. we talk to each other like old friends, laughing, cracking jokes about if you don't like hospital food wait until you get on an airplane and can't believe i'm up past two in the morning what a party animal i'm becoming. i am holding the hands of someone named drew, who likes my crow tattoo and making crochet snails.

there are many dark moments full of pain in this world. this - in the low of absolute-dark, absolute-pain: people find a way to paint in it anyway. the color splash of their voices: this triumphant, radiating kindness of - let's be here together, let me help you, let's keep going.

i never saw their faces. i can't remember many of their names. but i think about them often, and the way we all took a deep breath - and did something gentle amongst the pain.

barbie official: we’re gonna put all our movies on youtube for free!

youtube, still selling their movies: huh? what’d they say they were going to do?

here’s a link to a playlist since everyone’s a fan of this post

WHAT

it’s real😭😭😭😭😭😭

Here’s a working link as of February 2nd 2022

and a working link

this video is making me SOB

please read the best twitter story i’ve seen all week

bringing this back because it becomes possibly funnier the second (third forth) time around

oh my god

story time: presidential edition

Imagine going to a party and the white suburban stay at home mom with two overachiever kids and white dad who barbeques but doesn’t know how to barbeque and yet is always surrounded by other white Dads who compliment his barbqeuing even though they’re just store bought preshaped frozen patties from Ralph’s or Food 4 Less and while he’s cooking those the white mom comes out and says “okay kids, here’s some pizza!” And she pulls this out and starts telling the kids why its a “fun pizza” and then cries in her master bedroom when no one likes it or finishes it and the white dad is then consoling her why she sobs that she’s a terrible mother and ruined her fourth grade straight B+ sons birthday and thinks her kids hate her but they don’t care but she continues crying softly into her pillow while the children eat poorly cooked burgers with unmelted kraft singles and too much mayonnaise and the only other condiments are two pickles and pepper because the dad calls it his special burger with a secret spice but the spice was just pepper and the kids just keep playing E rated games on their Nintendo Wii while the 17 year old older sister starts cleaning the tragedy up and throwing away uneaten “fun pizza” and whole burgers dejected from the start while she dials Pizza Hut to get these kids an actual birthday lunch and the mother then throws a fit because the daughter did something the kids liked and she didn’t and was the only one making a huge deal out of it and the daughter was then grounded from her TV in her room for only two days and the son went to blow out the candles in his standard birthday cake from food 4 less the mom added strawberries to so she could feel she did something but was still slightly teary and sad because her day was ruined by no one wanting to eat her “fun pizza”

video essays i love and think about a lot (mainly in relation to pop culture):

Miniature Food Magnets

Nice Crumbs Shop on Etsy

@one-time-i-dreamt I see your tiny pans and raise you:

The tiny food they could make.

OH NO, I WANT ALL OF THEM

Little Women (1949), dir. Mervyn LeRoy

when i was 12 i got banned from yahoo answers and when i emailed support to be like “what did i do??” i got a really vague answer that just said “you know what you did” and it still haunts me to this day

When I was 10 I was in a AOL chatroom for kids and we were all making this Homer Simpson face (8^(|) but this one girl Crystal forgot to put the nose in the face so I said “You forgot the nose crystal” and I immediately got booted offline and no one in my family could log on. My Mom talked to someone from AOL and they said I was trying to sell drugs to minors because I said “nose crystal”

When I was like 10 I roleplayed with people on Neopets, completely innocent stuff like ‘high school AU’ or ‘wolf AU’ and the like. I made a thread called ‘See the Sea Hotel’ and it went on for a few replies until I randomly got my account frozen and after explaining to my mom for a good 30 minutes that ‘frozen’ didn’t mean the computer wouldn’t respond, she got on to try and send an email to Neopets’ staff and they said that ‘hotel’ was a restricted word because it included ‘ho’ in it

I had a similar experience around that age with an online music game called Audition.

I said something like “Can I get the speed to 2x speed?” and it automatically changed my message to “Can I get the **** to **** ****?”, and a moderator saw that modified message and suspended my account for offensive language.

It turned out that I couldn’t say ‘speed’ because it had ‘pee’ in it, and I when I contacted support to say it was a mistake on their part and asked if I could be unsuspended, they said that I was also writing numbers, and writing numbers was strictly forbidden just in case they were a phone number.

I remember playing Phantasy Star Online back in like 2001 - it was one of the first console MMOs, if I remember correctly - and you didn’t get banned for saying “bad words”, but they did get censored. their list of inappropriate words was….extensive, and one in particular created a real problem for people trying to make plans to play together. because of course the most common day of the week to do that would be Saturday, right? but. that has the word “turd” in it. so. every time. you tried to say “do you want to play Saturday”. it would say. “do you want to play $%&@%#+%”. and the other person is just. sitting there. wondering. what the fuck did you just ask them to play

This is called the Scunthorpe Problem and it always cracks me up.

This shit used to be annoying as hell.

When my little sister was making her first Webkinz account she went to put her name in (which is Michelle) and it told her she couldn’t use it. So she tried Shelly instead and it did the same thing. We were really confused, like what was wrong with it, it’s just a name. Then we realized it was because it had the word hell in it. She had to modify her own name to Shely in order for it to work.

Also just recently I was playing a game that asked me to pick a last name for a character, so I randomly picked Cummings and it told me it was inappropriate because it had cum in it.

Free Online Language Courses

Here is a masterpost of MOOCs (massive open online courses) that are available, archived, or starting soon. I think they will help those that like to learn with a teacher or with videos.  You can always check the audit course or no certificate option so that you can learn for free.

American Sign Language

Arabic

Armenian

Bengali

Catalan

Chinese (Mandarin)

Beginner

Intermediate

Dutch

English

Faroese

Finnish

French

Beginner

Intermediate & Advanced

German

Beginner

Gwich’in

Hebrew

Hindi

Icelandic

Indonesian

Irish

Italian

Beginner

Intermediate & Advanced

Japanese

Korean

Beginner

Intermediate

Norwegian

Persian

Polish

Portuguese

Russian

Beginner

Intermediate

Spanish

Beginner

Advanced

Swahili

Turkish

Ukrainian

Welsh

Yoruba

Multiple Languages

Last updated: May 2019

I keep meaning to check the ancient languages bc I loved them in school!

Ok but. Same.

Miniaturist Perfectly Recreates Historical Interiors at a Staggering 1:12 Scale

On his popular Instagram account, artist Chris Toledo shares ornate interiors and bathroom remodels. There is one distinct difference, however, between his handiwork and the type of thing you’d find on Pinterest. All of Toledo’s interiors are miniaturized at a 1:12 scale. If it weren’t for his hand cramming into the small spaces—or a full-sized toothbrush towering in the bathroom or a real head of garlic taking up half the kitchen—you’d never realize how tiny these places are; his details are just that impeccable.

Anyone who makes or ever made models from kits (raises hand) will appreciate the work involved in creating these from scratch…

Here’s his website and a Boredpanda article.

Bourgeois Householders Privately Troubled by Invasions of Silent, Giant Hand

Me: No one is hiring me

Adults: you’re just not trying hard enough

Me: oh yea, sorry about that. Let me apply “harder” this time. I’ll be sure to write my contact info extra “hard” this time. I’ll make sure to touch up my resume and make it hella “hard” this time around too.

preach

Adults:  You just need to hit the pavement, knock on some doors, call the hiring manager!

Every job application ever:  PLEASE NO UNSOLICITED VISITS OR PHONE CALLS.

Fact: Our reception pool forwards the names of people who call unsolicited on to HR, who puts the names on a DO NOT HIRE, CANNOT FOLLOW DIRECTIONS list.

This is what is the most terrifying about re-beginning the job search.

Fact: My brother was a store manager at AT&T for several years, and handled the hiring process. People that would call and call about the job wouldn’t get hired because, “They seemed to be the kind of people that would constantly need attention on the job, or wouldn’t make a good fit in customer service, because they don’t have the patience to wait for us to call them back.”

Meanwhile I’ve always been taught to do exactly those things because it “shows that you care and take initiative”

Here’s how I got my new job:

Your mileage may vary with this technique, but given the way job hunting is set up now carpet bombing an application site like Indeed is always worth a shot. I will note that when I came across a job I thought sounded extra interesting and more in line with the fields I wanted to be in I’d save the application instead of applying, then take the time that night to put together a better full application.

Good luck. Job hunting is terrible.

You don’t have to find a job you love​! Also until our healthcare system changes (if ever) find a job that offers benefits such as health insurance and 401k’s if possible.

Sometimes I /hate/ my job, other times I like it. It’s the best paying job I’ve had (almost 16/hr) and I’m mostly just shoving shit in boxes 70% of the day lmao. For me, I like being a little active/mindless so I can focus on what I love when I’m off!

I’ve learned in my short time in working that-

-Your dream job may still suck from time to time

-It’s ok to look for new jobs and (job hop) if you’re looking for greener grass

-Sometimes the reason why you might hate the job is just the job culture and not the actual job itself.

-that “proper etiquette” for job searching you may/may not have learned in college/school/family/whatever may not be necessary.

Also, when I knew I was done with my previous job and went on indeed to apply for my current job it felt good! If it feels good to apply for a job or new job, you’re going in the right direction. Always follow your gut!

I’m every one in this

MAN 1 (in a high pitched, whiny voice) Look what you’ve done to my peonies!

WOMAN (angrily) They’re marigolds!

MAN 2 God! I think she’s right! They are marigolds!

MAN 1 I may not know my flowers, but I know a (yells in her direction) bitch when I see one!

It’s back!

I looked this up because I had to know what it’s from. It’s a film called The Gay Deceivers (1969), and it’s about two straight men who, seeking to avoid the draft, claim to be gay, but then have to keep up the pretense when the army places them under surveillance.

The man in the red cardigan in the clip was played by Michael Greer, who was openly gay himself - unusual for the time. He actually worked closely with the director and rewrote much of the film’s dialogue to reduce the homophobia and make it more realistic. As a result it’s quite progressive for its time, having a gay character, played by a gay man, living in a happy same-sex relationship, which is more than a lot of media offers us today.

Plus the clip is delightful.

I just looked it up on wikipedia and fucking

EDFIAWFOWEFUHSFUIHOFIUHFOIFUHFOIUH

Just looked it up- it specifically ends with one of the army investigators saying “we don’t want their kind in the army” before laughing and caressing the other investigator, which is genuinely so fucking funny

This question and its answer from The New York Times work advice column is W I L D.