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@melancholymace-blog

full of life, full of passion
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hotboyproblems
*hears noises at night*: well this is it this is the end for me I had a good life
*gets shampoo in my eyes*: I guess I'm blind now how am I ever going to see my first born child
*heart is beating fast*: I think I am having a heart attack is this what cardiac arrest is
*a cop walks by*: here I go about to get arrested I probably murdered someone
*taking a test*: don't take your eyes off of this paper you will get caught cheating and get kicked out of school and amount to nothing
*gets a sunburn*: great now I have skin cancer how will I tell my parents
*tripping over something*: I guess my leg will have to be amputated why did this happen to me
*period is late*: shit i'm pregnant i'm the next virgin mary
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evildingdong
Me entering a bookstore: *my skin clears, an ethereal glow emanates from my body, small woodland animals gather at my feet, I am at peace*
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zackisontumblr

french recipes: if you’re not making this in paris then what’s the point. fuck you

italian recipes: use the left leg meat of a pig from one of three farms in this specific area of tuscany, or from this day my grandmother will begin manifesting physically in your house

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thirdtimecharmed

american recipes: buy these three cans of stuff and put them in a pan congrats you cooked