Mamma Mia

“did you bring protection?” “don’t worry babe” *pours salt in a circle around bed*

when u and ur friends go out to the woods in the night to scream

when u find out ur friends went in the woods to scream without u

The year is 2022. You’re driving home from work, wifey calls & asks you to get some diapers for the baby. You grab roses for her. Life’s good. She’s crying in the closet you forgot the diapers what’s she gonna do with roses idiot there’s shit everywhere this is why your parents never loved y

The year is 1351. You’re driving your ship home from work, wifey calls and sends you to the local store to get some rags as diapers for the baby. You grab a bouquet of flowers for her too. Life’s good. You both die from the plague

The year is 2020. You’re driving home in your tractor after voting for Trump, the man of your people. Your sister calls and asks you to get some diapers for the baby you bought from the Walmart parking lot last week. You steal roses for her on your way out. Life’s good

The year is 2068. You’re staring at the most beautiful stranger. She explains to you that she’s your wife. You have dimentia. You smile and take her hand as your grandchildren jump around the room. You’ve lived a good life. Suddenly you’re staring at the most beautiful stranger

Anyway I’m back on my bullshit

The year is 2019. Your fiancé just got you roses in your big house with 3 cars and 5 dogs. You did all this to tweet it with “We’re only 19, what are you doing with your life?” You got 5 retweets. He’s been buying roses instead of food for weeks. You can’t cook. You haven’t eaten in 3 days

The year is 2018. You’re scrolling through Tumblr and you see a post by none other than thebootydiaries. “Goals”, you think to yourself. Yes, this was it. What you’ve been waiting for. Your entire life has led up to this. Your fingers shake as you type your comment. “Goals.” You hit reblog as you’re trembling, the chair squeaking ever so slightly. “I can’t wait to forget diapers, and have dementia.” You sigh. “And buy a house, dogs, and cars. And…and…” goosebumps race through your entire body. “And get the plague.”

eu pensei esses dias que é injusto querer salvar alguém, quando no fim do dia você não consegue nem confortar a si mesma

eu pensei.

parece que a gente sempre pensa que poderia guardar tal pessoa num potinho longe de toda essa carnificina indireta. mas por que, se quando olhamos no espelho vemos o próprio abismo?

cat: oh? you just washed this bedding? you just cleaned these sheets? perfect place for me to give myself a bath then!

Would you bathe in a dirty bathtub? Put yourself in their paws

J. R. R. Tolkien

— Liam Neeson - (hatin)

Everyone deserves a second chance but not for the same mistakes

having separate continents is so stupid im over it reblog if you miss pangaea

— (hatin)

i just need a hug(e amount of money)

via vsco.co

— (via difficult)

Somebody Else | The 1975