Been thinking about my old fakemons and what good good pubbies they are.

Cerbernard's barrel is full of aged berry juice that works as a Full Heal for lost and injured mountaineers. Berrel's barrel is full of Berrel.

I love baseball

they let the pest control man throw out the first pitch 😭

People who don’t want to read The Martian in case the science is too complicated should be informed that it contains the lines “The best way to store the ingredients of water is to make them be water”, “It is of course dangerous to set off an explosive device on a spacecraft”, and “If I cut a hole in the wall of the hab, the air won’t stay inside any more”.

I love this fucking book

“I’ve said the words kilowatt-hours-per-sol so many times they’ve lost all meaning so I’m going to call them pirate-ninjas.

“So I need to generate nine hundred pirate-ninjas…”

there’s an entire chapter dedicated to him wondering how the cubs are doing while he’s stuck on mars, dying

I like the part where the guys on Earth are like “He thinks we all gave up on him, and that he’s completely alone. I wonder what he’s thinking about right now.” And he’s like “How come Aquaman can control whales?”

“ As with most of life’s problems, this one can be solved by a box of pure radiation. “

“Actually, I was the very lowest ranked member of the crew. I would only be “in command” if I were the only remaining person.”

Two pages later… “What do you know? I’m in command”

“Me: “This is obviously a clog. How about I take it apart and check the internal tubing?” NASA: (after five hours of deliberation) “No. You’ll fuck it up and die.” So I took it apart.

And my personal favorite :” Also, I have duct tape. Ordinary duct tape, like you buy at a hardware store. Turns out even NASA can’t improve on duct tape. Yes, of course duct tape works in a near-vacuum. Duct tape works anywhere. Duct tape is magic and should be worshiped.”

It sounds like a book-long XKCD comic 

There’s an xkcd comic about it if that helps.

My favourite book…

thought people would appreciate what happed after the ‘no, you’ll fuck it up and die’ part lol.

#since when was the martian this funny#i just remember being in middle school trying to read this book for my english class#and i couldn’t even get past the first page 

The very first line is “I’m pretty much fucked. That’s my considered opinion. Fucked.” How did you get the impression that this book wasn’t going to be the funniest shit you’d ever read?

I find myself wondering if you were, perhaps, attempting to read The Martian Chronicles, not The Martian.

hi. if anyone who sees this has any extra cash, i would really, really appreciate if you'd consider donating to this fundraiser to evacuate a three year old girl, faya, and her parents from gaza before the rafah crossing closes. their original godfundme was shut down and time is running out. the new fundraiser, hosted on gogetfunding, can be found here:

i know this isn't the usual thing I post on this blog, but i think it's important enough to warrant it. the rafah border is closing, and the fact is that not everyone is going to escape before it does. please help me ensure this little girl and her parents aren't among them

Cherry blossoms in full bloom

Everytime I see queer people existing in public spaces I breathe a little easier

I am blasted by the GNC swag strangers have in this thrift store

Transgender Bovine

@bovineblogger

reblog if u r a fat transgender bovine or u support their beliefs

fixed it

the first sentient robot to realize deceased humans and animals can’t be repaired or backed up on a server is gonna be so devastated

Little robot, nudging a body: i fix Little robot, nudging a body: i fix Little robot, nudging a body: i fix Little robot, nudging a body: i fix Little robot, nudging a body: i fix Little robot, nudging a body: i fix Little robot, nudging a body: i fix Little robot, nudg

#ah man medical robots who break free from their first directive of Get Money from Patients and follow their Core Idea of Help People #and rove around providing what little medical care they can 

#security androids using their being mosly bulletproof to bravely seek peaceful resolutions 

#engineer droids who refuse to work with faulty tech or supar metals for fear of the vehicle not keeping its humans safe 

#man man man part of robot culture is wondering what keeps humans seemingly unafraid of death when it feels like it could be anywhere

“A Helping Hand”

Loving the dungeon meshi anime so far! The manga is one of my favorite of all time and I encourage everyone to read it

do you want to see the best trail cam photo ever

let it be known he is chilling like crazy