Pitter Patter Pop Jodio Joestar (+ transparent!)
I got a brochure from one of those salespeople ready to pitch to me their product and I pretended to listen and then ate the brochure in front of them then left. I told everyone it was because I was doing a social experiment for my sociology classes but I really just wanted to eat a brochure.
anon you live inside a cutaway gag
I have a story that’s topical; I’ve told it before on tumblr, but it’s topical to this and thus worth repeating.
Back around 2005, I ran into a Baptist missionary who spotted my kippah and basically took that as permission to attempt to missionize at me.
I defended myself, using the basics of the knowledge I have of Christian theology and texts that I learned specifically to fend off missionaries.
We went back and forth and back and forth, and he wouldn’t leave me alone for… oh, probably the better part of an hour.
And then…
Then this part is seared into my memory. I have nightmares about it.
He smiled at me and said that, with my knowledge of the Gospels, I am sure to be one of the Elect when the time comes.
I asked what the hell that meant.
And he told me. He told me in a tone of utmost sincerity–even envy, because to his belief system, it was a good and enviable thing…
Because to be one of the “Elect” is to be one of the 144,000 Jews who accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior at the Apocalypse. This will happen when all of the Children of Israel have been Gathered in the Land of Israel; war will break out, the Assembled Jews will have the Gospels preached to us, and 144,000 Thousand–Twelve Tribes times Twelve Apostles times One Thousand–Jews will spontaneously convert to Christianity.
Once that occurs, all of the Jews die in the Apocalypse, but the Elect ascend to Heaven to be Jesus Christ’s personal escorts down to Earth for his Second Coming (the rest of the Jews go to hell for eternity, in case you’re wondering).
In short…
He told me that I existed to be a human blood sacrifice to bring back his god. I was not a person to him. I was nothing more than a means to that end.
And he was jealous. Jealous of the fact that he viewed my knowledge of his religion, something that I had learned specifically to fend him and his kind off, as proof that his religion was right and correct and inevitable. That in learning it, I had made myself more valuable to his worldview.
Jealous that, because I was more valuable, because I existed to die for his god, I would meet that god before him.
It was terrifying, to be told that I was to die… and he thought that it was a good thing.
This is how Evangelicals view death. Not as something to be avoided, but something to seek, something that is a positive, and not just for themselves… but for everybody.
They are the closest thing to a full-fledged Religion of Evil on the planet, and I say that without hyperbole.
When you guys say the US is being controlled by a death cult, you werent kidding!
It’s also worth noting that a significant number of premillenial dispensationalists (aka people who believe in the rapture - actually a pretty small minority of christians found almost exclusively in the USA) not only think the end of the world is good, they think they can rules lawyer their way into making it happen.
when I was a little kid I used to build nests out of sticks and leave them in trees, because I thought we’d get more birds that way. If I created the conditions in which I knew birds to exist, that would cause birds to appear. That is how a lot of evangelicals think armageddon works.
they’re surprisingly pro-israel, even by american standards in general, which seems off given how virulently anti-semitic they all are. until you remember that they think the twelve tribes gathering in israel is one of the conditions for triggering the end times. they don’t just hate palestinians because they’re islamophobic, they literally think them living in jerusalem is stopping jesus from coming back. (This is also how they justify the fact that most of them want all jews removed from america - they want to send them back to their ancestral homeland *cough*to be a human sacrifice for jesus*cough* so how could you ever think they’re antisemitic?!)
this also creates their extremely weird attitudes to the UN, which most of them think will be responsible for the antichrist (the apocalype of john says he will unite all nations - and never mind that we know who he was and he’s been dead nearly 2000 years now, and uniting all nations meant bringing them under the rule of the roman empire, which provably didn’t happen), which they want to happen because it’s a precursor to Jesus, but also don’t want to happen because wanting it would mean supporting satan and if they do that then they won’t be part of the group who get saved during the rapture.
(Also satan is definitely real guys, he’s really really real and 100% in the bible and not primarily a product of medieval pop-culture at all!)
and hand in hand with the ‘we can make the world end’ thing comes the belief that this is going to happen soon, any day now, so why worry about stuff like depleting resources or climate change or loss of species, because it’s all going to be destroyed within 1 generation maximum, probably next year, so who cares?
oh, and don’t forget that america is overwhealmingly calvinist, voted mainstream protestant theology most likely to fuck up your brain 471 years running! Basically Calvinism is founded on the idea that God knows in advance who’s going to be saved, and most people are actually on earth not to excercise their free will to attain grace, but just to suffer, because they were born inherently bad and god knows it and is basically fucking with them. You can never become one of God’s elect, you can only prove that you already were. On an individual level this is bad, but not that much worse than other christian denominations, you prove you’re one of gods elect by doing good christian things like prayer and charity, if you sin you might go to hell. It encourages more pettiness and rules-lawyering when considering sins, but overall, pretty standard stuff.
Where it gets really fucked, and the reason why John Calvin is number 2 on my list of Christian theologians to punch in the face if there turns out to be an afterlife (right after augustine of hippo), is that it encourages you to think of everyone who isn’t you as either good or inherently evil with hope of redemption. and since everyone wants to think they’re a good person, the criteria for inherently evil with no hope of redemption basically becomes ‘not like me’, or at least ‘not like the ideal my religious community holds up as an example’.
I would posit this is also why they evangelise in the way they do - they’re not actually trying to “save” anyone else, they’re trying to prove to their community that they’ve already been saved
so yeah, they don’t just look forward to death, they’re literally trying to end the world, and fuck everyone else, because anyone who isn’t exactly like them was born evil and can never actually be saved. and these people are in government in the most powerful nation on earth.
Horray!
Marlene Dietrich is detained at a train station in Paris in 1933 for violating the ban on women wearing trousers.
As with all german actors in the 30's, you always gotta check the World War II section of their Wikipedia page. Well im happy to report that Marlene Dietrich was in open opposition to the Nazi regime, and in 1937 donated her entire salary for a film (over 9 million dollars in todays money) to helping Jewish refugees :)
i can’t decide if this is the single coolest girl in the world for making danger her middle name or the silliest for not seeing the raw power of “millipede danger” which is the greatest name i have ever heard
I taught my kid that swear words (important note: this does not include derogatory names for groups of people) are just words that can carry a social consequence. When you are a child, this consequence isn’t on you, as much as it is on your parents, who are responsible for you. As such, parents usually just ask their kids not to swear. Instead of that, I told him to ask me before he swore so I could explain the potential social consequences and we could make the decision together. So far, he’s asked a handful of times if he could swear at Trump while we watched the news. I found this perfectly acceptable, so he got to say “Fuck trump”. Once when he dislocated his knee, he asked to swear - I said yea, he yelled “HOLY SHIT OUCH” and I asked if it made him feel better, he said it did. Once in traffic someone almost hit us and he asked to swear, I said yes - he said “That guy is an ASSHOLE” and I was like, yeah. 100% he was. He’s never asked to swear at a time that I felt was inappropriate. I have 0 regrets about this parenting decision.
Things that I knew about: that the mass incarceration of people in the USA , particularly black men, has direct ties to/is an extension of slavery. Things I did not know: this specific shit about Louisiana HOLY FUCK this is evil.
I have sooo much worldbuilding I'm actually putting on paper on my toyhouse. With the knowledge im the only person that goes on my th page rip
love that this caused so much controversy the thread needed to be locked. over chicken sandwich
gang this does not even scratch the surface
Someone posted a picture of a piece of chicken between two hamburger buns titled “Chicken Burger” to /r/food. Another user commented “Chicken Sandwich” on the post, and was slapped with a 30 day ban by the mods. When they responded to ask why, the mod said
“Correcting someone in public is public shaming, on top of being incorrect, it’s a pretty shitty comment to leave.”
So now /r/food is on lockdown after being spammed with posts titled “Chicken Sandwich” and other variations. The mod that handed the ban down pinned a post doubling down, comparing the situation to “Pride posts that always fill up with bigots” and “removing racists from posts featuring POC”, and including a link on “how to correctly, correct someone.”
because someone commented “Chicken Sandwich” on a post titled “Chicken Burger”.
Okay but this also does not scratch the surface either It all started when the sandwich guy posted about what happened to him on r/TIFU, which led to a lot of outrage including someone in the comments saying they were also banned from r/food just for saying they had diabetes (this was later confirmed by a mod). All this anger turned into a brigade which resulted in the entire sub being flooded with almost nothing but posts about Chicken Sandwiches, now known as burgergate. The mod who initially instituted the ban then went on to compare fending off spammers to defending the capitol building during the January 6 riot. You can see in the post that this made it into r/subredditdrama, a community which discusses ongoing drama across reddit. This particular thread in the screenshot is locked, an interesting detail for reasons that come into play later.
Someone else then goes and posts about burgergate on another sub, r/iamveryculinary , which is dedicated to making fun of food related snobbery and drama. This does not go over well, as it turns out that one of the mods of r/food is also a mod of r/iamveryculinary. This mod then proceeds to get slapfights in the comments, which notably includes her saying she would “rain fiery hell upon” anyone who posts chicken sandwiches in r/food, and complaining that she’s so focused on moderating burgergate that she has no time to spend with her kids. People then beg her to forget the chicken sandwich drama and take care of her children. I would love to give you some more details about this incident or tell you the other side, but I can’t since she deleted all the comments of the people she was arguing with so most of what we have left is just the things she herself said. Someone then goes on to post about the r/iamveryculinary drama on r/subredditdrama again. This post immediately gets deleted completely, because it turns out that the r/food mod who also moderates r/iamveryculinary also moderates r/subredditdrama. More people beg the mod to stop caring about the drama and spend time with her kids. The whole thing eventually gets posted to r/subredditdramadrama , a meta sub where people discuss drama that goes down in r/subredditdrama. Another post is then made to r/subredditdramadrama, where the sandwich guy who was initially banned posts his conversation with the mod that banned him. Up until this point, the original mod had been arguing that the permanent ban wasn’t because of the chicken sandwich comment (which was only a 30 day ban), but because he had been rude to the mods when asking why. Screenshots show sandwich guy simply asking why he was banned and then apologizing for the chicken sandwich comment, only to be smugly told by the mod that he needs to “educate himself”, who also insinuates that he’s a weirdo and calls his comment shitty. Don’t miss this mod showing up in the comments of these screenshots and arguing with everyone else over them. So basically the whole thing was one innocuous comment about a chicken sandwich which quickly spiralled into a multi-sub meltdown that has lasted for about two days now. Chicken sandwich guy has not, as far as I know, been unbanned as of yet.
All of us on Tumblr that never get on Reddit:
Okay so I was actually on Reddit when this all went down and none of these explanations actually include the end of the story.
Someone posts the entirety of the burgergate saga to r/iamatotalpieceofshit and gets banned because guess what, she’s a moderator of that subreddit too.
People started looking more closely at subreddit moderator lists and discovered that she was the moderator of SEVERAL HUNDRED wildly popular subreddits and would ban people for mentioning chicken sandwiches in any of those. So multiple subreddits start petitions to get her off the mod team due to the notion that no one person should have power that far reaching but she pushes back on all of them for. And I am not making this up. The claim that wanting to get a woman off a moderation team is misogyny. Comment sections are nuked. Posts are deleted. This is a woman gone mad with power who sees the tide of public opinion fully against her and is trying desperately to hold on to that position. She starts posting rants about how men are evil and the scourge of the Earth until she’s been thrown off mod teams for this. Everyone gets bored and she fades into obscurity.
And I haven’t even mentioned the bribery and corruption allegations yet.
i think i’m going to be straight now can a girl come on this post so i can practice i want to try to be straight today
i need a girl to come on to this post i need to try something
ok. im come over.
heyyyy lol 😛 sooooooo *leans against the wall in a way that’s way way way way too close and you can smell my deer attractant and axe body spray combo* ummmm *blushes* *goes red*
ok. whatever. *looks away from you, hornily*
*i panic and rip your face off*
ummm.... ok... kind of weird... you are such a weird guy lol.... kind of funny tho... lol... can we kiss now. *i am unperturbed and my face is growing back slowly because i am immortal*
OOC: Godmodding. This is why i never RP with women
OOC: Typical misogyny. And of course the mod team does nothing. This is why rpworld.zetaforums.net is failing. I’ll be taking me - and my FOURTY-SEVEN active RP threads - to roleplaydream.invisionfree.com. Thanks for nothing.
OOC: Have fun getting anyone to play with your shitty mary sue. Go back to fanfic
What the fuck did I just read? As a role player and a non-straight woman... I think I need a drink after reading this. You are BOTH terrible role players, and neither of you are worthy of a good plot.
*crawls towards you on all fours submissively hoping you don’t hurt me*
There are prodigies that will never become prodigies because they never got the chance to do the thing they were to be great at.
I legit often sneer at the “child prodigies” I see; to me they are just rich kids with rich parents who just happen to have the money to show it all off, and it really rubs me the wrong way.
How many more child prodigies are out there who will never have the chance to showcase their talent because their family doesn’t have the money and resources to develop and showcase their talent, or worse, live in abject poverty or otherwise in a situation that denies them of that opportunity?
Reblog and put in the tags how many liked songs you have on spotify

























