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hey thanks for checking in im still a piece of garbage

@megalodont / megalodont.tumblr.com

paris, late 20s, aussie, they. MonocerosRex on ao3
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l0stvegas

Got Bones? (Printable)

Hey, I made a printable .PNG version of that “got bones” flyer if anyone wants to make a few copies to hang up in real life and cause some minor chaos around their town. Have fun, feel free to send me pics if you stick it up anywhere

I should specify, for those who are apprehensive:

- The phone number attached to this poster is real, and works.

- It’s not a random stranger’s number, please don’t worry. I set the number up specifically for this piece.

- You will not get a live person on the line, it’s just a pre-recorded message (unless my finger slips and I accidentally answer one of the incoming calls, in which case I will inevitably panic and immediately hang up)

- It does, however, cost me like nine bucks a month to keep this text app phone number running for the sake of the joke. Which isn’t a lot, but I’m honestly pretty broke these days. So if this poster amuses you and you want to chip in to help this thing live on so other people can call the number, you can toss me a dollar or something over on my Ko-Fi page. I’m gonna try to keep it public and live for as long as I feasibly can, however.

This is genuinely the funniest possible result that could have come out of this whole thing, I approve

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on the topic of villains redeemed or whatever... i also dislike that whenever a villain joins the good side they suddenly become weak as fuck. KEEP THEM VICIOUS. KEEP THEM SCARY. ALLOW THEM TO BE TERRIFYING AT TIMES SO THE HEROES CAN JUST EXCHANGE LOOKS OF "holy fucking shit i am so glad theyre on our side now"

Increase the threat level, do not decrease the token evil teammate.

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Obsessed with characters who portray themselves as worse than they are. Who are lying to everyone including themselves about it. People generally assume if someone's lying about themselves they're trying to look better but sometimes they're trying to look worse. They attribute agency to where they had none, add intend to accidents, try to convince everyone that this is something they did instead of something that happened to them.

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elbiotipo

Me: Did you know that medieval cathedrals weren't actually supposed to be dark and rundown places with only stained glass as color? They were bright places full of light... the reason they look like that now is because of the centuries of accumulated grime and dust, here look at this restoration of the Cathedral of Chartres in France:

It's based on actual paint from the times, and when you think about it, it makes a lot more sense, after all a church is supposed to be a bright place of hope. Yet when we think about the middle ages we think about grimy and dark cathedrals. I wonder how much of our conception of history is shaped by our current visions of historical buildings.

My Goth GF: listen, I don't think this thing between us is working,

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ieidolon

Insane to me that certain comic book creators who shall not be named dismissed Jonathan Harker as a "milk sop" and a boring character. White-haired avenger with ambiguously vampiric superstrength Jonathan Harker. Most violent and unhinged member of the vampire hunters Jonathan Harker. Ran at Dracula with a kukri knife without skipping a beat and then tried to climb out of a window to pursue him Jonathan Harker. "Like a living flame" Jonathan Harker. Calls his bond with his wife "the holiest love" and determines that if she becomes a vampire, even if Dracula calls her to his side, "she shall not go into that dark night alone" Jonathan Harker. You know. That one.

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giraffeter

I often see posts about curating your own online experience that make the point, “content creators aren’t your parents.” And, yes, that is absolutely true! And I try not to be like “as a parent,“ but as a parent…

EVEN PARENTS ARE SUPPOSED TO ENCOURAGE RESPONSIBLE READING/VIEWING BEHAVIOR. NOT filter everything ahead of time for their kid.

When my kiddo was 5, his pediatrician was asking him the usual Well Child Visit questions (“What are your favorite foods? What do you do to get your body moving? Do you know what to do if you get lost in a public place?” Etc.) and she asked, “What do you do if you see something on TV that scares or upsets you?”

I piped up like, “Oh, he doesn’t watch TV without one of us in the room,” which was true at the time and is still largely true now. She said, “Yes, but that won’t always be the case, so make sure you’re talking to him about what to do if he sees something that upsets him.”

So we started talking to him about that, and the answer is simple: “Turn it off or leave the room, and talk to someone you trust about what you saw and what you’re feeling.”

The answer is NOT “Ask your parents to make sure you never see anything upsetting again,” because that’s just not possible — and ultimately that would be doing the kid a disservice, since sooner or later he’s going to be out in the world where we can’t control what he watches or reads. That doesn’t mean we don’t try to make sure he’s watching/reading age-appropriate stuff, it just means that’s not the only safeguard he has — and that’s a good thing.

So yes, content creators aren’t your parents and aren’t responsible for making sure you never see anything you don’t like — but also, your own parents should have taught you what to do when that happens. So if they didn’t, take it from me, your internet mom:

Turn it off.

Walk away.

Talk to someone you trust about how you’re feeling.

And leave the person who created the thing that upset you alone.

When my oldest kids were small -- about 6 and 8 - I bought them a Video (the VCR kind) of John Waters' Hairspray, a film they loved, and, getting home at 3 am, left it for them with a note. They woke me up the next morning. "It's not Hairspray. It's something scary with a car." Due to a mislabelling error, the videotape was Stephen King's Christine.

I mentioned it to friends and a day later got a call from a tabloid journalist who wanted to know about this terrible thing that had happened to my family. "It's not a story, " I told them. "My kids know where the off-button is and how to press it, and the moment they knew they weren't watching what they wanted to watch, they turned it off."

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sobbing into my plate after overhearing a conversation between a mom and her tiny daughter in this shopping centre food court

this one buffet type restaurant is away from the main food court, on the upper floor of the shopping centre - nearly no one goes there, so even in the wild rush of pre-christmas shopping, it's fairly quiet.

it's a mother with a daughter, kindergarten age. they sit at the table next to me, each with their own plate, having a quiet conversation. the daughter eats very quickly, stuffing her mouth, you know how kids sometimes do. the mother tells her, very softly:

"remember what we talked about? you and your tummy are a team and you have to be a team player! let's make sure you chew your food well so it has an easier job later, and has enough time to tell you once you're full"

the child nods, very serious and focused, because she has a very Important Mission now after all. she begins eating slower, chewing well, and additionally taking some time to Ponder the food on the fork before chomping a bit of the many different dishes she picked small portions of.

"what is your favourite thing from your plate?" the mom asks, and the child points to something on the plate. "why? what's the flavour?" the mom continues, and the daughter replies, taking the time to describe the flavour and the texture, even though she "doesn't know what it is at all but it's yummy" and the mother smiles and explains to her what that food is. I think it was mozzarella, in the form of those small balls that work well for salads and appetizers.

once the daughter's plate is empty, she looks at it a bit puzzled.

"are you still hungry?" asks the mom and as the child nods, she says "let's give it a moment so your tummy can catch up as well." - a moment passes - "still hungry?"

the child nods enthusiastically. "alright, let's walk over to the buffet and we'll pick something more"

"can you bring?" the child asks and the mom just says, smiling:

"no, because you should choose what looks like it will make you not hungry anymore. also, walking a bit will help your tummy understand how much more food you two need to feel full so you're no longer hungry but you're also not too full so that you feel uncomfortable or nauseous" and they went to get more food.

it might not sound impressive or interesting, but she was so kind and patient, and the child was clearly happy and curious and receptive to the information she was learning about her own body and how food works. none of "you have to eat the whole plate" under the threat of some punishment, none of "that's enough, you've had enough, you're not hungry anymore" none of "you'll eat what I picked out for you and that's it, no discussion." I don't know. I hope they had a nice rest of the day

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no i don’t have an “astigmatism” i can just see the halos of the angels that live in car head lights that you losers are too spiritually closed off to see

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pansyfemme

so sick of skinny catboy art its literally so unrelatistic where the fuck is his primordial pouch

i was preparing all my life for it

you are the first person to understand me ever

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macbcth

nothing frustrates me more than when adults refuse to even slightly indulge the questions and thoughts of children. i remember one time when one of my younger cousins accidentally stumbled across the concept of purchasing power parity because she realised 10 rupees which bought her 10 candies in India only bought her ~3 candies when we went on holiday to Japan, and when she asked her mother about “why the same things cost different amounts in different places” my aunt had the audacity to call her spoiled for not understanding the “”worth” of money, that’s not what she was ASKING damn it!! your daughter just set up her own big mac index and realised a key metric of macroeconomics!!! how do you not find that utterly fascinating !! why don’t adults talk to children !!

Sorry for the very long story but children understanding stuff is my absolute biggest joy in the world so I couldn’t help it.

I have fond memories of spending entire afternoons as a teacher assistant in developmental psychology watching children figuring shit out as my students were administering classical piagetian tasks to them.

Piaget’s research method was to present (supposedly) fun tasks to children to figure out at what age/developmental stage they acquired certain concepts such as conservation of matter, for example. It’s less standardized testing (although the task itself is the same for every child) and more of a conversation with the child to try to figure out their reasoning. (So YES very much talking to them! You ask a lot of questions. A LOT.) The point of Piaget’s developmental psychology theory is that children before a certain age/developmental stage absolutely CANNOT grasp certain concepts because they just haven’t matured enough to do so. Doesn’t matter that it seems perfectly logical to you as an adult, doesn’t matter that you show them that’s not how it works, doesn’t matter that you try to explain it to them. They CAN’T get it.

Of course in that class we’d test children that were right on the cusp of acquiring said concept as to have a variety of responses to the task (it’s not like you turn idk 7 and it suddenly dawns on you, there’s individual differences, hence the variety at the same age/inside the same classroom). Some of these children would be baffled by the questions because the answers seemed so obvious to them there must have been some kinda trick to us asking. Some were equally sure of their answers although the answers were, technically, “wrong” and they would not hesitate to give contradictory justifications to their answers. (Doesn’t actually matter if it’s right or wrong in practice, you’re trying to figure out their developmental stage, it’s not a school exam.) Some of them initially didn’t understand, until they had a “eureka” moment so intense and sudden you could almost see the lighbulb light up above their head as they went “OH WAIT ACTUALLY I KNOW” and it made me beam every single time.

But the most fascinating ones were the ones who understood that their solution wasn’t adequate, but couldn’t figure the “right” solution because they just weren’t quite there yet. I swear some of them must have laid awake at night at the end of the day still trying to understand what the answer was with how hard I saw them thinking during the task. And some of these children, the ones on the cusp of the cusp, would come up with such creative solutions to that cognitive dilemma as well!

My favorite was a kid around 9 years old. The task was the islands task, and here’s how it goes : you present the child with a blue cardboard sheet on which there is brown rectangles and squares. This is the sea, you explain, and these are islands. There’s a wooden block you set on an island that fits it perfectly. This is a house, you say. People are living in it. The problem is, the island it’s built on is sinking! You must build a new house for the residents on this other island. The new house needs to be just as big as the old house, so everyone can live in it like they used to in the old house. You give the child a bunch of small wooden cubes and let them build a new house. Now here’s what you don’t tell the child : the trick is that the first island is 3x3 cubes, and the second island is 3x2 cubes. If you were to build the big block with the little wooden cubes it’d be 3x3x4 cubes. To get the same volume on the new island, the child must thus build a 3x2x6 house with the cubes.

Accordring to Piaget, children between 5 and 7 yo (again: not exact ages) will first refuse to build a higher building than the model even though they should and then will build higher but not know when to stop (some children I’ve seen stacked all the cubes at their disposal, making high, very unstable towers, two to three times the height of the old house, without batting an eye). Between the ages of 7 and 11-12, the child will start to measure the old house with the cubes to try to figure out how much higher the new house must be until they’re able to figure out how big a story is and multiply by the height etc. Children from 12 years old on should have acquired volume conservation and get it right more or less easily.

That child I saw though wasn’t there yet. He was at the point where he wouldn’t build higher than the model. So he built a 3x2x4 house on the new island. But he KNEW that it wasn’t big enough to fit everyone inside! He was positively perplexed by the problem. He could voice the issue, the island was smaller, but didn’t know what to do with that information. He tried building beside the island, so the base of the building would be the same size as the old one. “Oh but look,” my student told him, “you can’t do this because it’s in the water! It will sink!” The boy spent long minutes thinking about it. “We could build it on stilts,” he said. My student was not prepared for this but she did well. “We don’t have stilts, unfortunately, we only have cubes,” she said. He spent more long minutes thinking about it. “But if we sink many many cubes, then we can build on top of them, maybe?” My student looked up at me baffled. “No, unfortunately we can’t do that, the sea is so deep we wouldn’t have enough cubes,” she said. She put her hands on the blue cardboard all around the house he built. “See you can’t build here, nor here, nor here, nor here. Where else could you build?” He thought some more. By then, all my other students had moved on to the next task already. As the teacher told this student they should do the same, he still came up with a last idea : “What about floaters?”

This child thought about stilts, sinking building materials until it filled the sea, and floaters before he thought about building a taller building. If you don’t find that fantastic and fascinating I don’t know what to tell you. Creativity through the roof! I would spend my whole life watching children figuring shit out if I could.

Bonus story : one of the last children I had the absolute pleasure of witnessing figuring this shit out highjacked the whole piagetian stages system by building the exact same house in cubes right next to the first one then just stacked them in a way that fit on the new island. Got it right on the first try, didn’t calculate shit. Out of something like 100 children I saw through this task, he was the only one to think of it. Galaxy brain stuff fr. Entertaining af.