Jor-El: I made Kal-El a Kyrptonian combat suit out of nanotech so he can go out and fight crime.
Martha Kent: not without something to cover his junk he isn't.
twitter is hell but i really hope it doesn’t actually die because this is in contention for the funniest thing i’ve ever read in my life
White boy shocks staff at chinese restaurant by ordering in perfect ancient sumerian
I think one of my favorite little details about Reigen is that unlike Mob he forgets that other people can’t see Dimple so when they are talking Reigen is shouting and and arguing to the air and doing his weird hand motions while everyone else around him is just looking at him like
Mob: *only casually peaks at dimple**doesnt talk to him a lot if other people can’t see him* *ignores dimple in order to talk to other people* *only talks to dimple openly when he is in danger*
Reigen in the middle of the crowded street insisting that if he adds more gifs his website will get more popular to Dimple:
Do you think Dimple abuses this knowing full well Reigen is an idiot? Does he float a bit higher so Reigen is looking up and talking to the sky? Does he float in front of dolls or mannequins so everyone just sees a man scolding a piece of plastic? Does he just generally fucks around with Reigen and in turn other people in public?
The Sitka Blacktailed Deer of the Pacific Northwest coast often swim between the desolate islands that they call home, during this time they are often spotted by fishermen and sailors. Despite the water temperature averaging between 40 and 50 degrees Fahrenheit, the deer can swim for miles to reach their destination.
Photographer: [X]
oh so when the reader knows something i don’t it’s “dramatic irony” but when i know something the reader doesn’t suddenly i’m an “unreliable narrator” 🙄
Got halfway through a snarky response about nativity scenes pretty universally having Joseph also in that barn before remembering that Jesus’ dad is, fairly famously, a guy who is not Joseph
The thing about the D&D movie which is absolutely genius is that the game mechanics basically insulate them against any of the most frustratingly fun sucking movie criticisms. “But why were the guards looking the wrong way?” Failed their perception check. “Why did the spell stop RIGHT before they would have died” Dropped concentration. It gets to be dumb and fun anyone that TRIES to be the plot hole police gets ever increasingly obscure D&D rulebooks thrown down in front of them and called a fake nerd. There's NOTHING those type of guys hate more than being a fake nerd. This movie is untouchable.
this actually is rewiring my brain as we speak
Holy fuck that’s even more inspirational
I can relate to this on every level
“postmortem decay set in SERIOUSLY quickly”
i like to think that sunny isnt actually a good listener he just stands there thinking about whatever the fuck until the other persons done talking
