I get overwhelmed, I feel so much at the same time. How do you live with all of the emotions gathered in one whole body? How do you chose which emotion to attend to when they all play significant roles in your wholesome being? This feeling is of you. A blend of the unknown with sparkles that are so familiar, I can smell and touch this feeling of you. It is unforgiving to say the least that every…
It’s been a while since we last spoke and things have changed. You’re still healing and I love you for that. I love how patient you are learning to be with yourself. You knew you would get here. I’m so proud of you. What’s been on your mind lately?
Remind me to breathe as though I am the air that keeps you alive. Remind me that every breath I take is yours as it is mine. Remind me to take my time to breathe in love and exhale hope. Remind me that the stars and the moon will always be there. Remind me that there are good people out there. Remind me that there are some willing to put others before themselves. Remind me that change is possible…
Glorious - Diane Reeves
You know that German saying: ” Man sieht sich immer zweimal im leben”. It is a saying that I’ve known for over a decade, always wondering if this is true. You will always meet someone twice in life. And it has been, I have met strangers twice and never gave it a second thought. Why does this happen? Is it because we are just bound to cross paths and this is just pure quantum mechanics of…
They say when someone wants to be with you they will make all the efforts possible to be with you. “Literally” they will try to move mountains and bring the moon with them on their way to you. That’s the way I am. I don’t necessarily want to be swept off my feet and I don’t need the moon, because she already has my back to be honest. We already talk to each other and I know the hustle. I guess…
I’m breathing, I’m living, surviving a time you will never really know. I can’t seem to wrap my finger around the mysterious event that was supposed to be us. No, actually, a make-believe as it seems now. One that maybe, just maybe I made up in my head. I must be the crazy one. What are feelings for anyways? All the smiling and giggling. The looks, oh my goodness the looks, all the looks. My…
If I cry some more will it get better ? Will I feel better? I’m tired of this sadness that keeps lingering behind me. I felt sad and now I need to move on, but I can’t just yet. Letting go of you is so hard because I never had you in the first place. We were never anything. I’m stuck with all these fantasized memories, the home I’ve built in my head for you. The place I started to make in my…
I am not sure where else to write this and feel safe. Where no one I really know can track me down. I want to honour the person I am today. I want to soothe myself and let my authenticity shine bright today even on such a gloomy day. I am so happy and sad and confused and scared all at the same time. That’s what being human is isn’t it? An awareness that my person can process sadness and the above and still look happy for my society all at the same time. The last two weeks have been tough. I try to blame it on this Mercury Retrograde to make me feel a little less detached from my feelings I know I have little control over, but truth is I am very often sad. What else would you expect from a person with their moon in Cancer? I embrace me, because without this moon I would not be sitting here in this cafe drinking my chamomile writing my feelings.
The world is packed with over billions of people and yet it can still feel isolating. You swift through life with an identity pleasing to the heteronormative world because this is the social norm. In this Identity you are safe. You are safe from the judgement and you are safe from the violence. I had to really look deep inside of me over the last few years figuring out that I am not…
& fierce like thunder.
Kisses fall from above the earth
it makes her skin glisten
& reveals a rainbow in the sky.
I just need Jagmeet Singh to be the next Prime Minister of Canada okaaaay
He believes in
- universal healthcare including pharmacare which provides everyone with essential prescription medications, so everyone who has access to healthcare has access to the medications prescribed by doctors.
- He’s a proud propionate of LGBTQIA+ rights and calling to end the blood ban, and focusing on assessing LGBT+ youth homelessness.
- He also wants to decriminalize sex work and possession of all drugs, and argued that drug use should be dealt with as a medical issue.
- He fights for accountability in climate change, wants to reduce carbon emission levels, implement a zero emissions vehicle agenda, and add subsidies for companies that support renewable energy
- He’s called on his experience of racism in Canada, and is calling out to end racist practices by police like carding, and systematic racism in mandatory sentencing
- he wants to invest in affordable housing, raise the minimum wage, and tax the rich via creating new tax brackets, end tax deductions for highest income earners, and raising corportate tax
I probably didn’t even cover it all, but my goodness this makes me hopeful for Canada’s future
Dear Mom, I want to hold her hand and let time pass us by. I want to kiss her and not feel the need to hide and cry. I want you to know that I am not an abomination but I am magic with all these atoms flowing through my body. Every cell in me is magic. I want you to know that I have the ability to love and care for a person no matter who they are and isn’t that so beautiful? Isn’t that really…
I read on a Pinterest board “Abandona tu Diego Rivera”, the first thing I thought about was you. As I prepare this ceremony for closure. I remember the comfort you provided and I’ll still keep it close. But today, I will put my well-being above you. I’ve been a prisoner to nostalgic memories of you for a very long time and it has been harmful. I am healing. I will be healed from you, I am…
It’s late, I have to work early tomorrow morning. Yet you’re taking strides in my mind right when I should be falling asleep. I am letting you take over. Letting you overwelcome your stay. We’ve never really met but for a fraction of time I felt home with you. You’ve made, well, I let you make me go through so much emotional stress you barely even know. There’s something about the stories we make about each other that make us fall into a pit of misery. You’ve been sick for quite sometime, the hospital has become a place you lay asleep at night. A few nights ago you told me about a dream you had, you dreamt about us in cuba vacationing spending the times of our lives. You mentionned I was dressed in a bikini with a white dress over it. Does this mean I keep your thoughts busy. About two weeks ago I was going through a couple days of anxiety, my chest was cleanching, I couldn’t breathe. I took a taxi to get home from what is a 7 minute walk home. I wasn’t feeling well and I thought about you. You this person I haven’t really spoke to in a long two to three weeks because you’ve been in a hospital. I thought about wanting you next to me for a bit right after I got upset for thinking to myself why do I let myself fall for someone without knowing them. In our conversations you are so sweet so charming. I think you have made a story about me in your mind as I have done. I guess we all do this. I have to write about you tonight because I guess I miss this feeling you leave me with everytime you answer me. You leave me with comfort I have not felt in awhile. Am I being greedy for wanting you to fulfil my comfort space? I haven’t heard from you, I hope I hear from you soon. I hope we meet each other and for once the stories we created in our minds about each other are real. That you are really a sweet person and that I can be myself like I have from the beggining. I hope I will always be myself even when I have my anxieties because, my anxiety is also me now. One thing I need from you is to learn my anxiety with me. Is that too much to ask someone I have not met yet?
You gave me your time at night blowing emojies my way. You told me how you were interested in me and made me believe the things you said. I should have known that maybe this was a little too good. You put me on a high for a little time and as I put it on my mouth you took it away before I could swallow. I am left thinking of you and how could this be that someone I believed to be so gentle, could be so reckless in the same way. I started believing that maybe I could let my heart go and feel these emotions, I started to let go, I let go. I never really asked for this heartbreak, a heartbreak from a feeling of forever. Home is not an easy place to find in another but I felt it for milliseconds within you. Maybe this was all an illusion, something magic you knew how to do. You spoke to me with respect telling me gently the things you would do if you were mine. Why did you paint these pictures in my head, why did you dip your brush. You this mess, I am not sure if you’re going to clean it up. I am sad, that you didn’t even really say goodbye. You left me wondering why. That is the worst thing to do. It is the worst thing to leave someone you tell you like. You left my thoughts to myself being inconsiderate of how I’d feel. Are your feelings still valid? Why have they changed? Am I being dramatic? I feel like I shouldn’t have let myself go, a little regretful because although you did this to me, I did this to me. I texted a stranger and started to give my heart out. I believed that possibly there are really sweet guys out there incapable of breaking hearts. I am wrong so so wrong. I went to sleep thinking about you and woke up writing about you. Now I have the task of letting go which is something I do not have the energy for. I told the people around me how great things were and now I have to tell them too. I am so heartbroken because I really thought you were something good that finally passed my way. I thought you really were. During my brief experience with you, I had an epiphany, letting go is the hardest thing to do when emotions are involved. I was closing another door when I felt something new. Now, I am just here and I have to close another one. I can’t do this right now, I need to be sad for just a little longer for you.
