Diagnosed with baby

Bad news: your kid is the neighborhood cryptid.

Good news: you can get that on a bumper sticker

pop punk sucks for convincing all of those people that dudes named like pete and brendon were the epitome of cool. hundreds of fans writing rpf erotica about a man named, i’m sorry, patrick stump, which is ideally the name of a bitter old salamander who lives in a hut the woods and is mildly homophobic towards frog & toad 

May I present to you:

Book seller

Crystal seller

He sells flowers

She will sell you a pumpkin this fall

Would you like to purchase.. bean?

They are regulars. They buy mushrooms for soup

She has more options

Don’t be scared, he’s just been doing this for years and is passionate about garlic

Can I interest you in...melon?

Witch’s familiar needs coins to buy ingredients from toad next door

Please trust reliable, small business owners

ME GIVE IT TO ME

Eddie Brock in Venom 

so many critics said he over-acted. that this movie didn’t deserve tom hardy’s level of acting. but in reality, maybe if more bad movies had people like tom going balls to the wall, they wouldn’t be bad movies

They gave me a lot of drugs at first.

@favoriteanimal

it really defrocks my priest that basically to be any kind of monastic person you have to have faith and ritual and serve your community--three things I fucking hate!--when I just want to wear a sick robe and be treated with a deference I in no way deserve

mood, brother buttmunch, mood

Seriously though, why can't I use All The Adverbs?

I just counted how many uses of the word fuck there are in so-far-unfinished fic and there's 70. None of which I'm deleting.

S. I love you so fucking much I swear to god please delete just one

@jellyfishdirigible *leg*

Bff’s from the beginning.

that baby is making biscuits on that cat. what a role reversal.

Hm…

The baby will grow up to be a skilled and kind witch.

no mr bond I expect you to die

The Area 51 raid was like, the absolute opposite of Dashcon. Like this was an event that was comically not supposed to work, but you crazy sons of bitches actually managed to show up and just throw an alien-themed party while armed gaurds stood angrily on the sidelines. It was JUST as stupid as the memes said it would be and nobody thought anything would happen

Well done

why must a film be “viewed”? is it not enough to see select homoerotic scenes in gif form, low quality?

Highly successful honeybee

Absolutely off the shits

lost 

in

the

sauce