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@mecha-pikachu

i went to a tiny counterserve diner once and accidentally poured sugar instead of salt all over my hashbrowns and was eating them sadly anyways. the waitress took them away and started making me another one and I tried to protest, but she just snorted and said "we're not catholic here". now every time i'm doing something painful out of obligation i think about how that is not repenting, this body is not a catholic establishment, there is no nobility in suffering.

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“available with premium subscription” “will be removed on the 31st” “available free with ads” “rent 4.99 buy 20.00″ “not available in your country” “not available on this device” what if every streaming service fucking killed itself and films ran around their fields free and organic in their natural state

skyrim followers are so funny like you'll be fighting alduin on the throat of the world for the first time and then they hit you with a "I've done a lot of… questionable things in my life. Serving Vaermina was a horrible mistake, and I hope Mara will forgive me one day." like Erandur my brother in mara we might have bigger worries right now I don't think it's a good time to tell me about your trauma there's a lizard and it wants us to die

electronic stores are zoos for the electronics. the laptops get to suckle from their chargers all day as long as they want and sometimes get affection from the human visitors! the gaming consoles in the petting zoo section are so have fun with their enrichment. the little nintendo switches even trust the people enough to let them hold their babies sometimes. and the speakers and headphones exhibit are allowed to play music as much as they want. its so beautiful

Things to say during sex:

  • Meat’s back on the menu boys
  • Give it to us raw and wriggling 
  • A new power is rising
  • This is a good sword
  • Something stirs in the East
  • Feast on his flesh