Not actually a robot

THIS IS NOT A DRILL

I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL

please don’t start reblogging this again this post ruined my life

important news everyone im finally adding my own addition to a series of pictures very important to me 

here’s three months later don’t ever stop dreaming everyone 

This makes me so happy, genuinely. I want this feeling of making a space your home. This is really impressive, and I’m so happy you have this new space :)

lmao someone posted this on a pic where i have a dick

we need to go back to hating tumblr. no more hellsite (affectionate). don't even think of giving these clowns your money. if i see you with a checkmark next to your name i'm opening fire

*sound of gun cocking* they can be disabled

tumblr's current business model isn't profitable and never will be and no amount of scolding from staff blogs or tumblr ad-free pay piggies is gonna fix that. don't let yourself be guilted into buying merch, badges or ad-free. you're throwing your money into a bottomless pit while the techbro ghouls running this website laugh about you at their next board meeting while applauding the shmucks coming up with new ideas on how to twitter- or tiktokify the website

''but tumblr needs to make money!!!''

if tumblr really wants its regular user onboard with keeping the website afloat then we should at least demand that they do the bare minimum in keeping the site functional. and right now, they're not even doing that. every change they've made lately has made the website/app worse. i should give my money to tumblr so what—they can make a more intrusive version of tumblr live? remove the chronical dashboard? come up with an even more transphobic way of doing content moderation? yeah, no thanks

Okay I'm looking at this again and I'm very proud of it, actually.

the thing is this dashboard change isnt the end of the world ill get used to it whatever im just fucking dying of embarrassment that its supposed to look like twitter

twitter gets run over by a bus and the next day tumblr comes 2 school wearing her clothes like. oh my god come on

wanna hear a wild story? my brother’s history professor is closing in on 80 and basically lives at the university. one night my brother visited him for a meeting, and it came up that my brother was gonna be performing as a court jester at the castle the following day. and his professor busts out: “ah, that reminds me of my youth!”

he then proceeded to tell the tale of when he and his friends went backpacking to greece back in their early 20s. then one day they found themselves completely penniless. so they decided that the only reasonable thing to do was to set up acrobatic shows in skimpy outfits on the beach at day, and then drink up the money at night.

after a week or so they gained some traction, and a gang of young greek men walked up to them like “hey y’all are cool as hell, can we join y’all for drinks tonight?” and my brother’s professor was like “of course! y’all have to wear these revealing outfits and do somersaults with us tho” and the greek gang said “sounds dope. y’all are invited to live with us for however long y’all want.”

anyhow, they proceeded to live like this for the better part of 3 months, doing shows, drinking, and sleeping at the greek gang’s apartment. but after a while they decided enough was enough, and said thank you for everything, but we’re going back to sweden now. and the greeks said “sure! love y’all have a safe trip xx”

half a year later my brother’s professor gets contacted by the greek police. they ask him about the months they spent in greece, and then informs him that their greek friends have been convicted of serial homicide and robbery. that the group of young greek men had joined up with several tourist groups for several years “for drinks”, and then killed and robbed them all, terrorising the beach city for several years. with one exception, of course, because “this one group of swedish acrobats in slutty strongman suits were just ‘so damn nice’”.

and that’s the story of how one swedish history university professor survived sharing a flat with a group of serial killers for several months by performing acrobatics in slutty outfits on the beach. moral of the story? be kind of heart, thicc of ass.

he's fiiiiine.

Ana de Armas was certainly a weird choice to play Marilyn. Like don't get me wrong, she's beautiful and a great actress, but I feel like Marilyn isn't Marilyn when she's stick-thin. I realize I am reducing women to body types here but like, Marilyn's silhouette was a culture shift. Are we really SO afraid of seeing ""plus size"" women as beautiful these days that we cast a skinny girl to play one of the most famous curvy girls in history? Like so many women look to her now as evidence that skinny and sexy are not synonymous so idk I'm talking out of my ass here but it just seems like an off choice to me

when i was a kid I was really bad (or really good depending on your definition) at hidden object games. which is to say that I would not specifically search for the objects the book asked me to look for. no. that would make no sense. what i instead did was open a spreadsheet

i then proceeded to list every single object in the image in my excel spreadsheet, highlighting the objects the book asked me to find in red as i went. Then, by the end, not only had i found the objects, I had also found and categorized all of the other objects as well. This way, if anyone asked me to find any other objects in that image, i was fully prepared

on an unrelated note i was diagnosed as autistic before third grade

You used the letter a 46 times!!

And 555 letters, so the letter a is about 8.29%

The letter a is on average used about 8.2% of the time, which means you used it more than average!! :)

a-counter you are my best friend and greatest ally

I cannot put into words how much I Fucking Loathe the fact that when you search something on youtube now it will randomly intersperse blocks of "people also watched" and "for you" into the results. That's not what I searched for, youtube. I typed in a search query because I wanted to see search results, not random unrelated garbage you have placed in my way apparently to either inconvenience me or force me to scroll further for actual results. I despise your wretched little games and every time I see it I can only instantly close the tab as I am overcome with the urge to burn something down.

"I despise your wretched little games" perfectly conveys how I feel about the entire algorithm/attention economy

They also refuse to actually show the parameters you searched for. If you sort by “upload date,” the first few videos might be more recent ones by upload date, but anything past that you’ll find a video that was uploaded five years ago, then five months ago, then three years ago, etc, which—NO! That’s NOT WHAT I ASKED FOR!! PUT THEM IN ORDER!!!

Also sometimes the “people also watched” bullcrap will not only be entirely unrelated, it will also be videos with violent, sometimes outright triggering thumbnails. I’ve gotten some AWFUL unrelated video thumbnails just when searching for video game music videos.

If you use Firefox this extension is god send :D

BECOME UNMARKETABLE

MAKE YOUR PAIN UGLY MAKE YOUR LOVE GROSS MAKE THEM WINCE AT YOUR EARNESTNESS MAKE THEM LOOK AWAY

BECOME UNMARKETABLE

MAKE YOUR PAIN UGLY MAKE YOUR LOVE GROSS MAKE THEM WINCE AT YOUR EARNESTNESS MAKE THEM LOOK AWAY

BECOME UNMARKETABLE

MAKE YOUR PAIN UGLY MAKE YOUR LOVE GROSS MAKE THEM WINCE AT YOUR EARNESTNESS MAKE THEM LOOK AWAY

BECOME UNMARKETABLE

MAKE YOUR PAIN UGLY MAKE YOUR LOVE GROSS MAKE THEM WINCE AT YOUR EARNESTNESS MAKE THEM LOOK AWAY

BECOME UNMARKETABLE

MAKE YOUR PAIN UGLY MAKE YOUR LOVE GROSS MAKE THEM WINCE AT YOUR EARNESTNESS MAKE THEM LOOK AWAY

BECOME UNMARKETABLE

MAKE YOUR PAIN UGLY MAKE YOUR LOVE GROSS MAKE THEM WINCE AT YOUR EARNESTNESS MAKE THEM LOOK AWAY

BECOME UNMARKETABLE

MAKE YOUR PAIN UGLY MAKE YOUR LOVE GROSS MAKE THEM WINCE AT YOUR EARNESTNESS MAKE THEM LOOK AWAY

BECOME UNMARKETABLE

MAKE YOUR PAIN UGLY MAKE YOUR LOVE GROSS MAKE THEM WINCE AT YOUR EARNESTNESS MAKE THEM LOOK AWAY