Why Neil's a magician and not a liar

There are days (and not a few) thinking about all the big questions GO left open for me drives me up the wall and sometimes it gives me sleepless nights

-What happened in 1941?

-How did Crowley fell?

-Did Crowley tell Aziraphale what happened in heaven about Jimbriel and the Second Coming?

-Did they talk about everything that happened during the body switch?

-Does Azi really consider Crowley going back to heaven?

-What happened while talking to the Metatron?

-What made Aziraphale go back to heaven?

-What's the real meaning of "I forgive you"?

I could continue this list endlessly and I would get lots of different answers on every question, because everyone has their personal point of view and background. And I'm pretty sure there won't be an answer to everything in S03, because some things really are as they seem.

Reading Neil's "American Gods" right now, I think I found the clue

Neil and the whole GO-crew are Masters of Misdirection, as magicians are, but we have great investigators among us. So let's continue finding answers to make us nervous or calm us down until we get S03.

And in the end, just one thing is for sure: It's all about being part of Neil's ineffable plan.

Things that People Forget About When Writing Sword Fights

You don’t have to dodge

by a foot. You only have

to dodge by an inch.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

That final haiku actually makes for a pretty good maxim!

Neil is up to something

there is an excellent post (that I've blimming lost) about how Neil is very familiar with magic tricks but read this wonderful compilation of metas and you'll get the idea - NEW Crackpotting Theory Tracker

Magic plays a big part in Good Omens - and Neil is up to his own magic trick. Sendarya talked about how the kiss is a misdirection to the audience from what is actually happening

so let's get rid of the kiss (because I definitely find it distracting!) and let's look at what happens between Metatron and Aziraphale in 2x06

This is not an angel that wants to return to Heaven. He looks bored, like he doesn't even know why Metatron is there or why he's talking to HIM about who the next Supreme Archangel should be.

"Michael?" it's like he couldn't give less of a toss if he tried

he's just like hmm? yeah ok, super interesting, can i leave now

When Metatron suggests Azi should take over as Supreme Archangel, he looks horrified. this is not good news, at all.

Metatron tries to sweet talk him. You're so honest, such a good leader~

Azi isn't convinced.

"I've been looking back over a number of your... previous exploits, and I see that in quite a few of them you formed a-"

THAT EYE TWITCH

"-de facto partnership with the demon Crowley."

LOOK AT THIS REACTION. fear. worry. panic. guilt(?). we see that fight or flight response kick in - the eye movements, the swallow.

Can I point out, WE NEVER SEE AZI'S IMMEDIATE REACTION TO THIS OFFER. But I think we know that it's not a positive reaction - he knows what Crowley thinks of Heaven.

What we do see is the end of that conversation, and Azi is nervous and faking smiles. He is now agreeing to go along with Metatron's plan, even though the last time we saw him, he was completely resisting it. Something happened to cause this change.

It's very possible that Aziraphale has now made his own plan, but he has to make it seem like he's going along with Metatron's plan. The Metatron is very direct to Aziraphale that he knows about his relationship with Crowley, and as we know, Aziraphale is terrified of Crowley being destroyed. This was perceived as a threat to Crowley and possibly humanity, and Metatron's bombshell "the Second Coming" definitely extended that threat to humanity, which Azi is a fierce protector of.

This angel did not want to return to Heaven. This angel is essentially being held hostage and is trying to save the two things he loves most from complete and utter destruction.

Fell the Marvellous has saved Crowley before, in 1961, with a perfectly timed sleight of hand. Now this time he must save everything, with his own death-defying 'bullet catch'.

What Neil is up to, well. I don't think we'll know until we see it. A good magician never tells.

Adoration

Description: under the cut

Aziraphale and Trauma

[Just a note that I initially wrote this in response to this post: https://www.tumblr.com/theangelyouknew/732357015604756480?source=share&ref=_tumblr which is full of insightful info. I'm reposting my response here with some minor edits so it's easier to find in tags.]

This is something I actually find interesting within the fandom, because there seems to be this weird divide in fandom when it comes to Aziraphale.

See, I love Aziraphale. I think he's an amazing and well nuanced character, but a lot of the time fandom boils him down into this really simple version of himself. This happens both with people who dislike him and claim he's a bad person as well as with those who want to soften him up and make him more palatable. Aziraphale isn't the only one who has trouble with black and white thinking here!

Things like Coffee Theory remove Aziraphale's agency because the thought of Aziraphale doing something to hurt Crowley deliberately is something they can't stomach. If Aziraphale is acting under some kind of major magical influence, it means that it's possible to brush over the fact that he can - and has - hurt Crowley in the past and it certainly hasn't always been accidental.

There's a lot of Psychology I could touch on here, but it's honestly such a complicated topic that I don't really feel I can do it justice attached to a completely different topic.

But one thing I do want to touch on a bit is how Aziraphale asserts control in his own life via his connection with Crowley, and that touches on something equally complicated, which is something that's probably hard to understand.

Abuse victims are often manipulative.

I don't mean this at all as some kind of slight or insult. I've been an abuse victim myself and it's one reason I know it's true.

Fandom talks a lot about Crowley's trauma and he's got loads, to be sure. I think of that meme about "this bad boy can fit a lot of trauma" and it's very true. I've even seen people mention that Aziraphale has a different kind of Trauma than Crowley, which is also true.

What I haven't seen is someone addressing that the type of religious trauma is a form of CPTSD. CPTSD or "Complex PTSD" is a very specific form of PTSD. PTSD is characterized as being the result of a traumatic event - Crowley's fall, for example, is a good example of PTSD and I can go into that at some point. CPTSD is different because it's not a singular event, it's the result of being in a constant high stress situation. A lot of abuse victims - especially those abused by parental figures or significant others - have this form of PTSD.

A good way to see the difference is in comparing how they relate to their trauma. When Crowley thinks he's lost Aziraphale in S1, it sends him into a spiral. But importantly we see that this traumatic event is causing Crowley to go back to another traumatic event in time, triggering his memories of his fall. This emphasizes how much Crowley's fall defines his trauma. We rarely see him experiencing trauma at the hands of Hell, as he's mostly allowed freedom to handle his job on earth the way he wants.

https://cptsdfoundation.org/ defines CPTSD as "the results of ongoing, inescapable, relational trauma. Unlike Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Complex PTSD typically involves being hurt by another person. These hurts are ongoing, repeated, and often involving a betrayal and loss of safety."

In humans, this is caused by having no sense of safety in key moments of development. It strips away sense of self, sense of worth and really any agency. We even see the angels using direct gaslighting tactics on Aziraphale in S2, which I'm surprised doesn't get mentioned more often: When they come to the bookshop looking for Gabriel, they mention Gabriel and then almost immediately when Aziraphale asks "you were looking for Gabriel", Uriel outright says a line that goes something like "Did we say we were looking for Gabriel?", leading Aziraphale to fumble and try to remember if they did, in fact, say that at some point (they did).

So, one big thing to know about CPTSD and this kind of abuse related trauma is that learning to lie and be manipulative is often what people have to do to survive. Children with abusive parents will learn how to be manipulative in order to get what they need or avoid losing things they need.

We see this with Aziraphale, time and time again. He could just ASK Crowley for things he wants. A lot of people point out that he could ask and that Crowley would probably give in to him most of the time anyway. But that's not how it works in an abusive home. Instead, Aziraphale maneuvers Crowley into situations where Crowley is forced to give him what he needs or wants.

His lack of agency, as a result of his CPTSD, is also why he needs to be worked into making decisions that he already knows - or at least suspects - are right. That's why they have their little dance every time Crowley has to talk Aziraphale into something by finding the right way to frame it so it makes sense with Aziraphale's strict rule structure. These rules exist as a defensive mechanism too. Having rules makes it easier to figure out how to avoid being hurt and Aziraphale cannot simply step outside the rules because it's Not Safe. Not even with someone he trusts as much as Crowley.

The entire apology dance scene stands out for a few reasons. Everything Aziraphale does in the entire scene is an act that allows him to take control of the situation. He's already won, so to speak, because Crowley is back and Crowley is going to do what he wants. The apology is unnecessary on every level.

This post talks about how uncomfortable Crowley has to be sharing a space with Gabriel. Gabriel is with the abusive team, whether or not he was directly involved with Crowley's fall. Crowley also harbors a severe distress and mistrust of Gabriel because of Gabriel's attempts to destroy Aziraphale, the most important person to Crowley. But it's worth noting that Aziraphale is uncomfortable too.

Another good indicator of how stressed Aziraphale is with all this is that he doesn't eat ANYTHING when Gabriel is in the shop. The only food he consumes in modern era is when he's in the Bentley which is a "safe" space. Gabriel constantly hounded Aziraphale over eating and despite offering Gabriel hot chocolate, we don't see him partaking himself. He does briefly drink to demonstrate how "drinking tea" works for Muriel, but he doesn't seem to drink from his cup at all after demonstrating.

The bookshop is also Aziraphale's safe space, his ONLY safe space - Crowley still technically has the Bentley, and honestly I feel like Aziraphale wanting to borrow the Bentley is actually partially because he needs to get away from Gabriel and the Bentley is the only place that feels safe for him at the moment. Shax ruins any illusion of safety for him, but Aziraphale is much more enthused for his trip in ep3 and a fair amount of it is because he's not trapped with Gabriel.

A small note here, as a thought occurs to me. Aziraphale asserting that the Bentley is "our car" is probably mostly for himself. He's trying to realign his thinking to make the Bentley an acceptable "safe space" for himself prior to the trip.

There is a very different relationship dynamic when it comes to Gabriel and Aziraphale because Gabriel is the constant source of Aziraphale's trauma. He's Aziraphale's superior, the one he has to report to, the one who passes down his missions and his punishments. When Aziraphale takes Gabriel in, he's just invited his former abuser of over 6000 years into his safe haven. This is a hugely uncomfortable thing for an abuse survivor.

Worst of all, because Jim is, for all intents and purposes, NOT Gabriel, Aziraphale can't bring himself to lash out at his former abuser the way he wants to.

That brings us back to this apology scene.

There are two major things going on here and both of them are bad and hurtful toward Crowley. They're also both intensely unfair. I love Aziraphale but this was definitely a dick move.

Firstly: Aziraphale is using Crowley to reassert a sense of control over the situation because he is spiraling. He can't assert control over his life and his shop, which is one thing that he falls back on heavily, and that leaves him scrambling to find somewhere where he can control his situation. He makes Crowley go through this whole unnecessary apology and dance routine because it makes him feel like he has control over SOMETHING in his life right now.

Secondly: Aziraphale is also enacting his own trauma on Crowley. He's treating Crowley the way Heaven treats him. This is a direct parallel to the way Crowley terrorizes his house plants because he can't do anything to the people who actually caused his trauma. This is, obviously, wildly unfair of Aziraphale to do - and I'm fairly sure there are other small moments where Aziraphale does this in a mild way, I'd have to rewatch again.

These are both behaviors common in CPTSD caused by environments that apply this constant state of stress.

I'm not going to say it's right, or that Aziraphale isn't being a bit of a bastard in this moment - he absolutely is - but this behavior does have some obvious triggers that might be easy to overlook. It's just important to understand that Aziraphale is falling into self-preservation habits that are actively detrimental to his relationship with Crowley. It's not just the manipulation, he's also hiding things and lying to Crowley when he really shouldn't be - both things often necessary in abusive environments - but he's doing it because that's the method that he's created that works with his abusive relationship in Heaven and he's falling back on it because he feels unsafe. The trouble is, this survival tactic does not work with Crowley and actively makes things worse because it shuts down open communication entirely.

This makes me think, once again, about the Ball.

Aziraphale starts season 2 under high stress. He and Crowley have had four years since Armageddon, but they’ve spent those for years tentatively working on this life together while also waiting for the other shoe to drop. It’s a really fragile situation and Gabriel’s arrival shatters it.

OP’s point about Aziraphale inviting Gabriel into his safe space — that’s characteristic of this whole season. Everything safe, everything sacred to Aziraphale, the bookshop, the Bentley, food and other earthly pleasures, Heaven/Hell encroaches on. So Aziraphale’s story over this season is him trying to reassert control over his situation, getting increasingly desperate for control. His stubborn insistence that everything’s going to be fine, everything’s going to work out.

The Ball is the culmination of that arc for Aziraphale. He comes back to Soho reeling from Shax’s invasion of the Bentley and immediately throws himself into planning the perfect Ball, the perfect love story for Nina and Maggie (and for him and Crowley). Literally orchestrating the entire thing, literally controlling the outfits, the dialogue, the music and the dancing. The vibe is very ‘This has to go exactly the way he’s envisioning it or he will fall to pieces’ throughout that whole scene. OP makes me think of how he shuts down Crowley’s warnings to his face, pulls him onto the dance floor.

And then Hell storms the bookshop, and Aziraphale does the most drastic thing to regain control of the situation: he throws his Halo. The only thing he can think to do that will make everything just stop.

So thinking of Aziraphale this way, looking at his arc throughout the second season in this light, his reaction to the Metatron’s offer and the way he presents it to Crowley makes more sense. A lot of y’all have pointed out that he never actually verbally accepts the Metatron’s offer. He says “I don’t know what to say” and the Metatron says “go tell Crowley the good news.”

Aziraphale is trapped again, feels powerless again. He doesn’t actually get to make a choice here. That’s clear to him. What he can do, though, during the walk across the street, is convince himself that this is a Good Thing, Actually. They can remake Heaven together, won’t it be wonderful?

The only thing Aziraphale can control in this situation is his own mindset, his own mental framing of what’s happening. I’ve seen people theorize that his enthusiasm in the bookshop is an act, and I sort of agree? But it’s not an act he’s deliberately putting on to hint to Crowley that something’s wrong. It’s an act he’s putting on for himself, that he needs to put on for himself, convincing himself that everything has worked out for the best and he’ll have Crowley and it’s all going to be great.

And then Crowley’s refusal to come with him shatters him. Crowley’s kiss hurts him. And so he hurts him back. “I forgive you.” Fine, go then. I release you. I said “I need you” but I don’t need you after all. And his smile in the elevator, once again, everything is fine, and I don’t need Crowley, and I can do this on my own. Everything has worked out for the best.

Yeah, I have no trouble adding "Aziraphale is trying to convince himself something good can come of this" to my read of the Final Fifteen. Our angel's a bit of a five-dimensional chess player sometimes.

I love all this, and I'm going to add one more thing.

Having the Second Coming to fight against gives Aziraphale back a sense of control.

I believe that him acting out of avoidance by borrowing the Bentley, leaning into that avoidance by throwing himself into planning the ball, and then using the nuclear option in desperation all fit, and that this fits too. Because CPTSD and generalized anxiety disorder are concomitant (someone once described Aziraphale as a suit full of bees and honestly, yes).

The part of generalized anxiety that causes problems is worrying about things that might happen but haven't yet, and that realistically you can't do anything about until they do. Like Jim reverting to Gabriel, or the demons finding their way into the bookshop.

But some people with generalized anxiety are really good in an actionable emergency because mentally, they've been rehearsing for this nonstop for... however long.

The Second Coming is a very clear and present danger and since Aziraphale is going up there alone, he has no choice but to ball up. He has something to fight against.

I'm buying into @sendarya's interpretation that he turns to Crowley at the last minute and mouths "trust me" before getting on the elevator, because he believes he can handle it. He's back in his element. He's been doing subversive damage control for 6,000 years, and mentally rehearsing for it the rest of the time. He's wired for this.

i bring you my one offering for every fandom: Twitch Streamer AU!

i see your "two teachers at the same school who none of their students realise are married" and raise you "two polar opposite streamers who none of their viewers realise are dating/living together" 😩🙏

i also accidentally drew these at 4k so enjoy these high res wallpapers i guess!! (1 + 2)

i have headcanons:

I've seen this floating around before, is there a fic or is this just a popular AU?

just an AU at this stage, but i've got a fic planned! ✨

but there's also similar AUs with fics, like Aziraphale as a Youtuber and the pair of them as Podcasters

Ooh best of luck, I'll definitely check it out when the time comes!

Thanks for the recommendations. I'm always looking for new fics!

i bring you my one offering for every fandom: Twitch Streamer AU!

i see your "two teachers at the same school who none of their students realise are married" and raise you "two polar opposite streamers who none of their viewers realise are dating/living together" 😩🙏

i also accidentally drew these at 4k so enjoy these high res wallpapers i guess!! (1 + 2)

i have headcanons:

I've seen this floating around before, is there a fic or is this just a popular AU?

Neil Gaiman and Rob Wilkins at the British Library event The Worlds of Terry Pratchett: Neil Gaiman and Rob Wilkins 21.11.2023

Neil about Good Omens Season 3: I need to clarify something, because the word has gone out that it's been greenlit. And what has actually been greenlit at this point is me writing the scripts. I have been commissioned to write the scripts. We are still waiting on tenterhooky tenterhooks for... I've been told we are only a couple of virtual clicks away, but those clicks have not yet been clicked. So when they are, the world will know.

I was nervous to post this but here is my Good Omens inspired piece. I am still heavily inspired by the wonderful work that everyone did on the show but love is really what inspired me the most. Thank you @neil-gaiman and everyone involved. I wish I could gift this to y’all.

“Love&Existence”

Ink

Watercolor paper

Alien Shapes

him :(

A Book Omens drawing I did yesterday (yeah, I can draw backgrounds, as you can see)

The kiss that we deserved

.

was tagged by @indigovigilance in this post, but it was so long that i couldnt type a single letter without the site glitching ;w; so im just gonna make my own post sorryyyy

thanks for the tag!

last song: the Good Omens theme! specifically this one by Camilla D'Onofrio. Last thing with lyrics though was a good omens fansong, An Angel Fell by Nine Aetharia. its rlly good, yall should check it out

color: pink! specifically a light warm pink

last show/movie: got finished watching Evil Dead Rise with Novel. or, rather, they were watching it and i eventually had to look away and listen to music cuz it was Too Much lmao. im not a huge fan of horror

flavor: it depends on how i feel that day. ill never say no to anything blue raspberry though

relationship status: married to @novelcain <33

last google: "high wasited jeans with low belt" lol i was trying to find a specific style

current obsession: good omens. just got finished commenting a live reaction to a fic. im not normal about this show

tags: i dont feel like tagging so do it if u wanna :)

Thanks to whoever I got this from, might have been @embracing-the-ineffable I believe? Anyway,

Most Recent Song: Water Fountain by tUnE-yArDs

Color: Purple!! We just painted our living room purple - I love being an adult.

Last Show/Movie: some Powell and Pressburger films. I think the last one was I Know Where I'm Going. We also saw The Tales of Hoffman recently. Both very good. Their other stuff is lovely, too. Somewhat fantastical but such good plots and characters. Modern production value doesn't mean shit when you aren't investing in the story properly (the studios ofc, not the production teams)

Flavor: Cheese? Chocolate? I'm drinking some black coffee right now, but I also love a good cup of tea in the morning depending on the mood. I tend to like more savory rather than sweet.

Last google: I believe it had something to do with trying to figure out which family parsley is in? It grew so well this year, even past freezing temperatures and snowfall. We were still able to harvest it even though we were lazy and late! (Speaking of great flavors lol) Turns out parsley is biennial, meaning it grows vegetatively the first year and only flowers/goes to seed in its second year. Great for growing. Carrots do this too, and I think onions/garlic as well?

Current Obsession: 😅🙃 *gestures at blog*

I'll tag some people but please feel free to fill it out yourself regardless of whether I tag you! @brenna @mouseonamoose @queerfables @sungmee @sun-glasses-at-night @sayuri-of-the-valley @mister-a-z-fell

Is this a prank? What….

Edit: holy heck it’s real…

They might be able to help us…

The stage that they're at is animal testing but it sounds like it's been successful in mouse and primate models.

My understanding: The way autoimmune diseases usually seem to work* is the immune system is "flagging" the wrong thing as harmful/not needed and destroying it. The typical treatments for autoimmune diseases are just tamping the entire immune system down so it can't destroy anything, which leaves a person vulnerable to infection.

The newer method is basically "tricking" the body using a method that... the human body already came up with. Cells flagging the wrong thing apparently happens all the time, so there are multiple defenses against immune disease, and one of them is in the liver. So scientists figured out a way to tell the body "hey, you flagged this wrong" and sent it to the liver and the liver/body recognized this signal.

There is still a lot of work to be done and it sounds like this isn't foolproof (ie: what if the liver is whats broken? unsure, and what if the immune system flags things wrong again?) but this is literally so amazing. i was tearing up reading it, and i hope that everything goes well in clinical trials.

*theres like a lot medical science doesnt know about the immune system

Thank you for this explanation/synthesis of the article! It's important for us to understand that they're still in early development and testing of these methods, but also that they've seen it work in mice and primates (rather than just petri dishes of human cells). I hope this goes well.

Hi! I'm a microbiologist and I've done work in academia, pharma, and clinical trials.

So the most exciting thing about this article is the last paragraph tbh (working on getting the actual paper, it's not up on sci-hub yet).

The company mentioned, Anokion, has four registered clinical trials for both Celiac and MS patients. The trial for Celiac just submitted data from their phase 1 trial (meaning there's good data it is safe) and are recruiting for a Phase 1/2 trial (meaning they are now testing efficacy). After that, the big hurdle is phase 3, which looks at whether or not it is better than a current treatment. The projected completion date is spring 2025. They are also preparing for a Phase 2 trial but are not yet recruiting.

The phase 1 MS trial is currently active, estimated completion in summer 2024.

I checked the company website and it looks like they are in the process of submitting an investigational new drug (IND) application for Type 1 diabetes. This is the first step to starting clinical safety and efficacy trials.

Now clinical trials can get delayed for a variety of reasons, but this is a really good sign! It's way further along than I initially thought when seeing the news. If the treatment does well, we could see new drugs on the market for Celiacs as early at 2030ish and MS as early as 2035.

I wasn't expecting the amount of happy brain juice the "You've got kudos!" message would provide me. It's like a little surprise treat, like someone trew in my face a piece of chocolate out of nowhere.

Some people think Maggie from good Omens is a demon or an angel and honestly I like to imagine that she is, not for any reason that pertains to the plot though.

I just like to imagine 50 or 60 years ago, Aziraphale realizing he's known this human who has a record shop in the corner of the bookshop for a long time and he has to come up with an excuse for not aging. So he's like hey by the way my grandson is going to take over this business and then he steps around the corner and comes out in the exact same clothes and it's like hi I'm A.Z. Fell 's grand son A.Z. Fell.

Then Maggie is like, what a coincidence my granddaughter is going to take over my record shop and she steps around the corner and comes out wearing the same clothes and says hi I'm Maggie the granddaughter of Maggie.

And both of them just accept it and don't ask any questions.

In my head this is exactly what happened because it makes me laugh.